Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Going well. A great new story to get stuck into. Keep up the good work. Could not find any spags this time around. Plenty of drama and more coming I am sure. Thanks again.

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Lu Saluna

Exceptional

Very excellent in drawing out the emotions in the characters so the reader can feel Shana's fear, Drew's concern. He seems genuine, I hope for her sake this is true.
You make writing look so easy, everything is flowing like water over a fall, without a drop out of place.
I can hardly wait for the next chapter.

 Comment Written 14-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Exceptional

Brilliant job of telling a story, my friend. This post has all the elements of romance and suspense, and I love the easy way you add conversation to your passages. It all flows so beautifully together. I want to be you when I grow up! haha. Great job,

Rhonda

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

Thank you for the encouragement. Hey, you ain't too shabby yourself. LOL

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Good tension build up, dialog, pacing, POV and sentence mechanics. Fine descriptive detail. I as right there in the scene. You might add in some more details--like sounds (honking horns, sirens, etc.) and sights. For example, this line: After maneuvering the New York City streets, sums up a ride but you could augment the descriptive verve in the narrative by describing some of the streets or a few minor details to being the city to life as a background-music type effect. Hope that makes sense?

I also did not notice a single spag. Yay!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

WOW!!! I'm honored.

reply by rama devi on 19-Nov-2016

:-))

Comment from Jay Squires

Exceptional

A tense chapter, Barbara. Anderson is developing as a sincere, caring character and the ones who are trailing Shana seem unshakable. This all creates a good mix of fear and hope. Good job, Barbara.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Barb

= This one is getting off to an exciting start.
= Hopefully, Drew is a good guy. He seems to be.
= Going to enjoy following along with this story. Good chapter.

<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings --- Jax
<> Published as --- Jacqueline M Franklin

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from light

Excellent

I love the high suspense. The story is progressing slowly and keeping interest at a peak. This is so well written. You hooked me in the first chapter.
Elaine

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

Not good that the three men knew exactly which hotel she is staying in and were lying in wait for her. She is in over her head. She doesn't know if Drew is trustworthy, but she doesn't have a whole lot of choice at this point.
Good mix of narrative and dialogue to further the story line and add suspense to your plot.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2016

I appreciate your kind review.

Comment from MartinDHall

Excellent

This is well-written and flows nicely.
One comment, if you don't mind. The entire script is in italics, which makes it more difficult to discern thoughts.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2016

I will fix that. I have no clue how it happened. Thank you.

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Yes this is well written and progressing well I am enjoying your story and cant wait for the next instalment well done regards Jill

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2016

I appreciate the kind review.