Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

There is such a wistfulness in so much of your poetry, Missy. It's like love is right there a half-inch beyond your grasp. Someday, your poetic persona will find it. LOL, then you'll have to go over to writing prose. Thanks, Missy. Love ya!

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

I think my soul is just wishing :)
Though married...I spend most of my time ...alone. I should be happy but...well hell, still wanting a fairytale I guess. You'd think at 63 I'd be over that, right!!
My goodness, I just went on here...lol. You are one of my first friend here in FanStory and I still look to you for advice and comforting hugs when I feel really down. You are the one of the "best" of the male species. :)

Love you too :)
Missy

reply by Jay Squires on 19-Mar-2016

My dear Missy. When my wife left me a few years ago, and after 46 years of marriage, she told me--and truly, I know-- "I just need to be cherished." So I think I know how you feel. I don't know what your husband is involved in that he doesn't give you the feeling of being cherished, but I know that I devoted nearly all my time that I wasn't working to my writing. I did not show her the love she needed. She simply wanted me to demonstrate that I loved her more than I loved my writing. And ... very simply, I couldn't do that. We live 50 miles apart and are still friends. Here's a virtual hug, my dear, but it should be my wife hugging you. I believe you and she have a lot in common.

reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016

Dam... For my silly reasons, but I'll take my hug from you... Thank you :)

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well written poem on your feelings and longing for the one you love to be with you to share the beauty your eyes see, but he is far away and your heart cries.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Hello, Sandra. Thanks for this lovely review :)

Missy

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

This is a lovely concept, building the poem around the serene scene of the voice resting on a beach taking in the birdlife, the breeze and the sky. But, as you state at the beginning, you're alone. The mood is set, but your closing gambit:
The perfect day for lovers
Where are you? ...my heart cries
...shows that despite the beauty, an opportunity to be together has been lost. You're getting good at holding back these key moments till late in the poem. Leaves as good impression at the end.
A couple of minor suggestions:
Change the state of the verbs to make the poem immediate, happening in the now.
Sky is a soft blue,
Pelicans and Seagulls rest on pilings
Or
Sail above me,
Occasionally diving for a treat

and
Warm gentle breeze comes in off the gulf
Whipping my hair into a mess

Lovely work, Missy

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Hello there, Mark. How is the retirement treating you :)
I made the changes and agree with you...looks much better ~ reads much better.

Thank you for being my constant source. I truly believe that you and a few others are the reason why my writing has improved the way it has. So, again, thank you !

Always,
Missy

Comment from beizanten

Good

Interesting. Short but quite well written. Easy to understand words.Good description. quite lightheated. Good but not great

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Thanks!!

Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Lovely poem. Not sure I have read any of your stuff for a while. Trying to get the writing bug again myself at present. Loved the emotion in this and the artwork is beautiful.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Hi there, sir. I had noticed you being absent. Hope all is well.
Thanks for the R&R :)

Always,
Missy

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Missy

= This is beautifully composed and presented.
= Always nice to have a solitary place to write.
= Nice and quiet from the outside word! (*<*)

* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*>*)

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

It is!!
Thanks for all your kindness to me. Thanks for all the hard work you do for the Picture This group as well.
Be back in the fold shortly :)

Missy

Comment from judester

Excellent

Many times I have found myself in the perfect spot, at the perfect time and just wished that I was there with someone to share the moment. You just have to enjoy it alone. Cheers, j

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

How true~
Thanks, J, for the lovely R&R :)

Always,
Missy

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

Our heart longs for a companionship to share our life with, the rainy days seem more wonderful, life seems more meaninful. Well done

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Mornin D&V~
Thanks so much for using your valuable time for this lil work of mine :)

Always,
Missy

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Hi Missy,
lovely poem of longing...
favorite lines:
Warm gentle breeze coming in off the gulf
Whipping my hair into a mess

Days like this are meant to be shared
With someone you love

thoughts:
the pelican pic is fine, but I find the glittery flashy thing at the bottom sort of out of place. maybe that's just me, but it seems distracting?

other than that, it's lovely, and it's great to see you, as always. ;)
Hugs
Cat

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

Cat, I took it off...I was trying my hand at adding a border. Not the most opportune time I guess. But, hey. it worked...lol
Thanks for your wonderful suggestion. :)

Thanks also for the lovely way you gave that suggestion~ Pure and kind.

Always,
Missy

Comment from Judvan2

Excellent

Its beautiful and I would have stayed to read more if you had written it. Where do you live? It sounds like the perfect setting for serene writing. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016

J, I live along the Alabama coast. Just a mile or so from the waters of Mobile Bay, a lil farther, the Gulf of Mexico.
Come down for a visit :)
Thanks for the lovely review ~

Missy