Reviews from

A Book of Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Heart Cries"
Assorted poems of love

43 total reviews 
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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There is such a wistfulness in so much of your poetry, Missy. It's like love is right there a half-inch beyond your grasp. Someday, your poetic persona will find it. LOL, then you'll have to go over to writing prose. Thanks, Missy. Love ya!

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    I think my soul is just wishing :)
    Though married...I spend most of my time ...alone. I should be happy but...well hell, still wanting a fairytale I guess. You'd think at 63 I'd be over that, right!!
    My goodness, I just went on here...lol. You are one of my first friend here in FanStory and I still look to you for advice and comforting hugs when I feel really down. You are the one of the "best" of the male species. :)

    Love you too :)
    Missy
reply by Jay Squires on 19-Mar-2016
    My dear Missy. When my wife left me a few years ago, and after 46 years of marriage, she told me--and truly, I know-- "I just need to be cherished." So I think I know how you feel. I don't know what your husband is involved in that he doesn't give you the feeling of being cherished, but I know that I devoted nearly all my time that I wasn't working to my writing. I did not show her the love she needed. She simply wanted me to demonstrate that I loved her more than I loved my writing. And ... very simply, I couldn't do that. We live 50 miles apart and are still friends. Here's a virtual hug, my dear, but it should be my wife hugging you. I believe you and she have a lot in common.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2016
    Dam... For my silly reasons, but I'll take my hug from you... Thank you :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well written poem on your feelings and longing for the one you love to be with you to share the beauty your eyes see, but he is far away and your heart cries.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    Hello, Sandra. Thanks for this lovely review :)

    Missy
Comment from mfowler
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This is a lovely concept, building the poem around the serene scene of the voice resting on a beach taking in the birdlife, the breeze and the sky. But, as you state at the beginning, you're alone. The mood is set, but your closing gambit:
The perfect day for lovers
Where are you? ...my heart cries
...shows that despite the beauty, an opportunity to be together has been lost. You're getting good at holding back these key moments till late in the poem. Leaves as good impression at the end.
A couple of minor suggestions:
Change the state of the verbs to make the poem immediate, happening in the now.
Sky is a soft blue,
Pelicans and Seagulls rest on pilings
Or
Sail above me,
Occasionally diving for a treat

and
Warm gentle breeze comes in off the gulf
Whipping my hair into a mess

Lovely work, Missy

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    Hello there, Mark. How is the retirement treating you :)
    I made the changes and agree with you...looks much better ~ reads much better.

    Thank you for being my constant source. I truly believe that you and a few others are the reason why my writing has improved the way it has. So, again, thank you !

    Always,
    Missy
Comment from beizanten
Good
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Interesting. Short but quite well written. Easy to understand words.Good description. quite lightheated. Good but not great

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    Thanks!!
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Lovely poem. Not sure I have read any of your stuff for a while. Trying to get the writing bug again myself at present. Loved the emotion in this and the artwork is beautiful.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    Hi there, sir. I had noticed you being absent. Hope all is well.
    Thanks for the R&R :)

    Always,
    Missy
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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Hi, Missy

= This is beautifully composed and presented.
= Always nice to have a solitary place to write.
= Nice and quiet from the outside word! (*<*)

* Cheers & Blessings *
Keep Smilin'... Jackie/Jax (*>*)

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    It is!!
    Thanks for all your kindness to me. Thanks for all the hard work you do for the Picture This group as well.
    Be back in the fold shortly :)

    Missy
Comment from judester
Excellent
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Many times I have found myself in the perfect spot, at the perfect time and just wished that I was there with someone to share the moment. You just have to enjoy it alone. Cheers, j

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    How true~
    Thanks, J, for the lovely R&R :)

    Always,
    Missy
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
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Our heart longs for a companionship to share our life with, the rainy days seem more wonderful, life seems more meaninful. Well done

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    Mornin D&V~
    Thanks so much for using your valuable time for this lil work of mine :)

    Always,
    Missy
Comment from I am Cat
Excellent
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Hi Missy,
lovely poem of longing...
favorite lines:
Warm gentle breeze coming in off the gulf
Whipping my hair into a mess

Days like this are meant to be shared
With someone you love

thoughts:
the pelican pic is fine, but I find the glittery flashy thing at the bottom sort of out of place. maybe that's just me, but it seems distracting?

other than that, it's lovely, and it's great to see you, as always. ;)
Hugs
Cat

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    Cat, I took it off...I was trying my hand at adding a border. Not the most opportune time I guess. But, hey. it worked...lol
    Thanks for your wonderful suggestion. :)

    Thanks also for the lovely way you gave that suggestion~ Pure and kind.

    Always,
    Missy
Comment from Judvan2
Excellent
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Its beautiful and I would have stayed to read more if you had written it. Where do you live? It sounds like the perfect setting for serene writing. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    J, I live along the Alabama coast. Just a mile or so from the waters of Mobile Bay, a lil farther, the Gulf of Mexico.
    Come down for a visit :)
    Thanks for the lovely review ~

    Missy