Pause
a free verse, for Suse28 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A great plan. It is better to live with pain and heartache than to be dead while you are still alive and breathing. Not many people care about the state of mind we're in. So I find it better to lift myself up when it is needed.
A great plan. It is better to live with pain and heartache than to be dead while you are still alive and breathing. Not many people care about the state of mind we're in. So I find it better to lift myself up when it is needed.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
Comment from Realist101
Sigh...thank you for this positive, even though melancholy poem Dawn. I say this to myself often. We just have to keep going. Like the little train, "I think I can, I think I can." Your art with this is awesome. I've always wanted to swim with a dolphin. Then I saw a video of a male who was trying to ... accost? a lady. Changed my mind. x
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
Sigh...thank you for this positive, even though melancholy poem Dawn. I say this to myself often. We just have to keep going. Like the little train, "I think I can, I think I can." Your art with this is awesome. I've always wanted to swim with a dolphin. Then I saw a video of a male who was trying to ... accost? a lady. Changed my mind. x
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
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The most joyful experience of my life (with nature) was the first time I ever saw wild dolphins. I almost fell off the cabin cruiser I was on, hanging over the side to get closer to them. We were at full throttle, yet those incredible creatures were leaping, over and over, beside us and then--------> in the FRONT of the boat!
I hope you get the metaphors I've used, my friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Sue - believe it.
(Thank you for this wonderful review and exceptional rating - sheesh, how do you hang onto your sixes? LOL)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah, that's really all we can do, isn't it, Dawn? Just take things one day at a time, then see how it goes.
Speaking of sea-ing how it goes (nice segue, huh?), dolphins are one of my favorite mammals, besides dogs, of course. I can't say I'd care to be dragging one of their carcasses around. I smelled a dead one once, washed up on a private beach when I lived in Virginia. It didn't smell like a bed of roses, I can tell you that!
Nicely composed and well presented free verse offering here.
Sorry I'm all out of sixes now too.
~Dean
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
Yeah, that's really all we can do, isn't it, Dawn? Just take things one day at a time, then see how it goes.
Speaking of sea-ing how it goes (nice segue, huh?), dolphins are one of my favorite mammals, besides dogs, of course. I can't say I'd care to be dragging one of their carcasses around. I smelled a dead one once, washed up on a private beach when I lived in Virginia. It didn't smell like a bed of roses, I can tell you that!
Nicely composed and well presented free verse offering here.
Sorry I'm all out of sixes now too.
~Dean
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
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Exactly. Sometimes the big picture can be overwhelming, a bit like looking at an acre of ground we want for a kitchen garden. The trick is to dig one manageable piece at a time...
As for dolphins, they're my favourites, along with dogs and cats - the most joyful experience I ever had was with dolphins; the first time I ever saw them in the wild. I almost fell off the side of the boat trying to get closer to them. LOL. We were cruising at full throttle - a BIG cabin cruiser - and they were leaping, first at the side, and then IN FRONT OF THE BOAT! LOL. I'll never forget it.
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I swam with dolphins once at SeaWorld in Orlando, FLA. Back then (it was in the mid 70's), they would allow you to do so with a trainer present and during off days when the dolphins weren't performing for the audiences. They had eight different dolphins. Four would perform one day, then the other four would take over the next.
They are such tender animals, and extremely playful. But they are also very powerful! They pull you around the huge pool with their dorsal fin as if you weren't even there.~Dean
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Oh, I know! I would be scared witless to swim with them! But I sure want to be close to them. :))
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I swam with dolphins once at SeaWorld in Orlando, FLA. Back then (it was in the mid 70's), they would allow you to do so with a trainer present and during off days when the dolphins weren't performing for the audiences. They had eight different dolphins. Four would perform one day, then the other four would take over the next.
They are such tender animals, and extremely playful. But they are also very powerful! They pull you around the huge pool with their dorsal fin as if you weren't even there.~Dean
Comment from mfowler
Ostensibly this is a very sad poem as your voice relates the survival of a very bad experience and a limited degree of hope. Yet, it is ultimately positive as the voice summons the resilience to try for one more day on the earth. I found your maritime imagery to be very engaging and at times quite confronting. This simile made my eyes widen and reread to feel the impact over: I have dragged this dead carcass around
like a dolphin without a sea
long enough...very powerful expression of frustration with a painful situation.
The manner of construction also works very well in giving the poem just the right emphasis at times when its needed. A fine example is this stanza:
So I've wrung the last vestige of humanity
from God
and I've decided
to
live
one
more
day...where the narrow lines with one word each insists on the idea being expressed is done when life is nearly over and there's little strength left.
A super poem of great originality.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
Ostensibly this is a very sad poem as your voice relates the survival of a very bad experience and a limited degree of hope. Yet, it is ultimately positive as the voice summons the resilience to try for one more day on the earth. I found your maritime imagery to be very engaging and at times quite confronting. This simile made my eyes widen and reread to feel the impact over: I have dragged this dead carcass around
like a dolphin without a sea
long enough...very powerful expression of frustration with a painful situation.
The manner of construction also works very well in giving the poem just the right emphasis at times when its needed. A fine example is this stanza:
So I've wrung the last vestige of humanity
from God
and I've decided
to
live
one
more
day...where the narrow lines with one word each insists on the idea being expressed is done when life is nearly over and there's little strength left.
A super poem of great originality.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
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What a deep read, and a wonderfully astute one - thank you. Yes, we all have our share of difficult times, but the friend I wrote this for seems to have garnered more than her fair share...
Comment from chcbeck
There is something really peaceful and beautiful about dolphins and I particularly like the moving one. He words are powerful, and positive, offering encouragement and hope. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
There is something really peaceful and beautiful about dolphins and I particularly like the moving one. He words are powerful, and positive, offering encouragement and hope. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
As for dolphins, they're my favourite creature, along with dogs and cats - the most joyful experience I ever had was with dolphins; the first time I ever saw them in the wild. I almost fell off the side of the boat trying to get closer to them. LOL. We were cruising at full throttle - a BIG cabin cruiser - and they were leaping, first at the side, and then IN FRONT OF THE BOAT! LOL. I'll never forget it.
Thank you for your wonderful feedback and generous rating. :)
Comment from royowen
Very clever Dawn, the thought of swimming with the Dolphins is an amazing thing, nice versatility you show oh talented friend, and one of the best uses of talent is to spend it wisely for the benefit of others, and you're doing that and donating your precious time, in honouring someone else, nicely worded free verse, well done, my friend, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
Very clever Dawn, the thought of swimming with the Dolphins is an amazing thing, nice versatility you show oh talented friend, and one of the best uses of talent is to spend it wisely for the benefit of others, and you're doing that and donating your precious time, in honouring someone else, nicely worded free verse, well done, my friend, blessings, Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
Roy, you are so kind and generous - thank you!
Regarding dolphins - they're my favourite creature, along with dogs and cats - the most joyful experience I ever had was with dolphins; the first time I ever saw them in the wild. I almost fell off the side of the boat trying to get closer to them. LOL. We were cruising at full throttle - a BIG cabin cruiser - and they were leaping, first at the side, and then IN FRONT OF THE BOAT! LOL. I'll never forget it.
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Most welcome
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Dawn,
Quite a metaphor you put forward here in this well written piece. Taking the reader through the low tide of emotions, and leaving on an upward ebb.
Nice work
G
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Hi Dawn,
Quite a metaphor you put forward here in this well written piece. Taking the reader through the low tide of emotions, and leaving on an upward ebb.
Nice work
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
Comment from Jay Squires
A profound poem, Dawn. The stanza below is the bridge bridge of today connecting yesterday and tomorrow.
Life is all about starts and pauses,
and somehow that last lingering
was an undertow;
sucked me under
which should have been death by drowning:
surprise!
You took me through despair where somehow you found the courage to give tomorrow a shot.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
A profound poem, Dawn. The stanza below is the bridge bridge of today connecting yesterday and tomorrow.
Life is all about starts and pauses,
and somehow that last lingering
was an undertow;
sucked me under
which should have been death by drowning:
surprise!
You took me through despair where somehow you found the courage to give tomorrow a shot.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2016
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Jay, I had to go have a good cry when I saw that the first review for this poem was so understanding. Thank you - you 'got' it, and that means more to me than you'll ever know.