2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "haiku (last light of day)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
32 total reviews
Comment from TAB_that's me
ooh, I love the satori line - two sided mirror. Colbalt blue lake is very picturesque. Perfect haiku making me wish it were warmer weather time.
Teresa
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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ooh, I love the satori line - two sided mirror. Colbalt blue lake is very picturesque. Perfect haiku making me wish it were warmer weather time.
Teresa
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you!
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a good haiku, my friend with a lovely presentation. I wish you a happy New Year and a very productive year of writing in 2016~Debbie
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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This is a good haiku, my friend with a lovely presentation. I wish you a happy New Year and a very productive year of writing in 2016~Debbie
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you! Happy New Year!
Comment from judiverse
This is beautiful. You make the picture vivid with use of color (cobalt blue lake.) Great alliteration with last light. You suggest a beautiful, peaceful scene at sunset. The last line two sided mirror is really excellent. A great analogy. If this is one of the Haiku you want to save, I can understand why. It is beautiful. judi
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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This is beautiful. You make the picture vivid with use of color (cobalt blue lake.) Great alliteration with last light. You suggest a beautiful, peaceful scene at sunset. The last line two sided mirror is really excellent. A great analogy. If this is one of the Haiku you want to save, I can understand why. It is beautiful. judi
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you! This is a new one.
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You're very welcome. I think this is my favorite. judi
Comment from BeasPeas
Good job with this. I can picture the sky and reflection in the lake. Truly a visual. Many oil paintings use this technique which your words describe well. Marilyn
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Good job with this. I can picture the sky and reflection in the lake. Truly a visual. Many oil paintings use this technique which your words describe well. Marilyn
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you Marilyn.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a very philosophical poem from the author here. Well done and happy new year.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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This is yet another interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a very philosophical poem from the author here. Well done and happy new year.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you! Happy New Year to you too. :)
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Happy new year.
Comment from misscookie
I love the words to your poem I found it very interesting.
This is what I call a food for thought poem.
Meaning after you read it you go mm.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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I love the words to your poem I found it very interesting.
This is what I call a food for thought poem.
Meaning after you read it you go mm.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you!
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You're very welcome, Happy New Year to you.
Cookie
Comment from Waishali Deshmukh
A lovely poem with a picturesque thought. I like the last line with change in font size. It brilliantly conveys the idea 'two sided mirror'. I wonder if it is a variation in haiku with the syllable count 4-8-4.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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A lovely poem with a picturesque thought. I like the last line with change in font size. It brilliantly conveys the idea 'two sided mirror'. I wonder if it is a variation in haiku with the syllable count 4-8-4.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello, I don't understand why you gave a good review and not a 5 star since you say is a lovely poem that brilliantly conveys.
Haiku does not have to be 5/7/5, just less than 17 syllables. You can check if you want. I thank you for the review.
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Thanks for the info.
Waishali.
Comment from trumby
Well done. Well presented. I like the combination of the color. The sunset reflected in the water. I love the last line. "two sided mirror". Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Well done. Well presented. I like the combination of the color. The sunset reflected in the water. I love the last line. "two sided mirror". Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you!
Comment from joannakruk
Love the last line 'two sided mirror'. It gives the impression of there being two worlds, one beneath the water and one above. I'm no expert but I've been consistently told that my Haiku poems need to follow a 5-7-5 syllable structure to be considered 'true Haiku'. This one seems to be 4-8-5. An interesting variant. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Love the last line 'two sided mirror'. It gives the impression of there being two worlds, one beneath the water and one above. I'm no expert but I've been consistently told that my Haiku poems need to follow a 5-7-5 syllable structure to be considered 'true Haiku'. This one seems to be 4-8-5. An interesting variant. Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello Joanna, the 5/7/5 poem has to have that form, but a true haiku can be any combination as long as it is less than 17 syllables. Since you say you are not an expert, why did you give me such a low rank?
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Ah, thank you for that clarification. I didn't think it was a 'low rank' but I gave you that ranking as it the poem didn't resonate with me as much as other's had. I did like it but I didn't find it to be 'excellent'. I hope I haven't offended you, simply a personal opinion.
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no worries, I am not offended, you and one other reviewer gave me less than 5 stars but it doesn't change my total score of 6 sixes. It all works out. When I started writing in this site, I had some very angry writers when I gave less than 5. Fanstory guidelines are: 5 -excellent, 4 -average and needs some work, 3 less than average needs a lot of work. When you give less than 5, you are suppose to tell the writer what needs to be fixed. That is why when I get less than 5 I like to know what I did wrong so I can improve my writing.
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Oh dear I'm really sorry I didn't realise the strict star system. My mistake. I should have double checked the scoring system. It was definitely not a 3 star poem.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
I love your poem. You have written it perfectly and is very nice to read. Thanks for sharing it with your friends. I know many people will enjoy reading it too.
Kat
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hi Gypsy,
I love your poem. You have written it perfectly and is very nice to read. Thanks for sharing it with your friends. I know many people will enjoy reading it too.
Kat
Comment Written 30-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
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Hello :) I really appreciate you taking the time to review my haiku-Thank you!
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You're welcome. Kat