Comment from Jeanie Mercer

Excellent

This is an interesting summer haiku. (Note: Quick SPAG nitpick: Title: lover's fight - First line: lovers' fight. You probably meant for the punctuation to be consistent, to make the meaning clear.) Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

Thank you Jeanie :)

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

The haiku has correct syllables at 2-6-4
(12 is good since minimal is best)
It has good grammatical connection
Sunny beach and crab fight are strong concrete images
Tense is good
Very good satori line with referral back to the crab
This is much better, in my opinion
Well done
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

Okay, thanks for the feedback, I will make corrections. :)

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

I changed my haiku, could you check it out?

reply by rspoet on 23-Aug-2015

I checked it again and changed the rating to a five. I think this one is much stronger, in my opinion. I was afraid you would be DQed for the alliteration in the first one. I think this haiku could be the winner! Good luck!

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

thank you :)

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

This is a good summer haiku for the prompt. Good imagery in the interconnected lines. The satori isn't real powerful though in my opinion and doesn't really have imagery.

Teresa

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 Comment Written 23-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

Thank you Teresa, I was thinking summer break and break up relationship... just an idea.

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

I changed my haiku, could you check it out?

reply by TAB_that's me on 23-Aug-2015

I love this so much better now! Now it is a wonderful and powerful haiku!! Good luck.

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015

Thank you Teresa and thank you for giving it a second read.