2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "5/7/5 ( I love winter cold! )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
49 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Poet
I am with you on that... "I love winter cold!"
I've always said, you can dress for winter. But you can't dress for summer heat. And right now, we've got a lot of heat (for us, anyway) here in southern New Brunswick. It's a humid heat, not dry by any means, and only slight relief through the night. I'm waiting patiently for the coolness of September. The air always changes in early September.
Every season is beautiful, and winter isn't an exception. It's beauty is unique.
"Frozen lakes and silver sky" ...nice alliteration with "silver sky"
It's just your last line that might be a bit stronger.
"the shy sunrays hide" ...I think I see where you're going with this, and you almost make it. But, for me, "shy" and "hide" say the same thing. I really like the personification of the sun being shy though, offering less heat during the winter months. The timid sun withdraws.
Nicely penned!
Good Luck in the contest!
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Hi Mystery Poet
I am with you on that... "I love winter cold!"
I've always said, you can dress for winter. But you can't dress for summer heat. And right now, we've got a lot of heat (for us, anyway) here in southern New Brunswick. It's a humid heat, not dry by any means, and only slight relief through the night. I'm waiting patiently for the coolness of September. The air always changes in early September.
Every season is beautiful, and winter isn't an exception. It's beauty is unique.
"Frozen lakes and silver sky" ...nice alliteration with "silver sky"
It's just your last line that might be a bit stronger.
"the shy sunrays hide" ...I think I see where you're going with this, and you almost make it. But, for me, "shy" and "hide" say the same thing. I really like the personification of the sun being shy though, offering less heat during the winter months. The timid sun withdraws.
Nicely penned!
Good Luck in the contest!
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Kimbob, the sun is shy because it hides behind the clouds.
Comment from rjuselius
Such a delightful piece of poetry dear anonymous! I think that the second line is the most powerful. I do however like the satori very much.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Good luck!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Such a delightful piece of poetry dear anonymous! I think that the second line is the most powerful. I do however like the satori very much.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Good luck!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Rebekka :)
Comment from Eric1
Hi Mystery author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, I can't believe that we are into winter odes already, we've had no summer here lol! Wonderful descriptive words, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Hi Mystery author, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, I can't believe that we are into winter odes already, we've had no summer here lol! Wonderful descriptive words, I wish you the best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Eric :)
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You are welcome my friend.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi..Wow...nice slide on this one. The shy sunrays hide. This was a neat concept. You're braver than me to enjoy the winter cold. I prefer the summer blue skies. Nice write and cheers.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Hi..Wow...nice slide on this one. The shy sunrays hide. This was a neat concept. You're braver than me to enjoy the winter cold. I prefer the summer blue skies. Nice write and cheers.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Benjamin, thank you :)
Comment from CALLAHANMR
This is a nice contest entry. How well you capture ehe essence of a winter of frozen lakes and a winter sky.
I also like your title, depicting the peace and joy winter cold can bring. A photographer's joy.
Good luck!
Roger
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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This is a nice contest entry. How well you capture ehe essence of a winter of frozen lakes and a winter sky.
I also like your title, depicting the peace and joy winter cold can bring. A photographer's joy.
Good luck!
Roger
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Roger :)
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
You'll get your wish for winter soon enough but remember to think about what you wish for because you might get it more than you wanted. Where do you live? If you live by me I'm moving because I think some karma is gonna be coming and I don't wanna deal with negative 35 or 50...I know it'll happen though. Don't worry we were just complaining about the heat last weekend when we were camping. We can never be happy. Great job
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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You'll get your wish for winter soon enough but remember to think about what you wish for because you might get it more than you wanted. Where do you live? If you live by me I'm moving because I think some karma is gonna be coming and I don't wanna deal with negative 35 or 50...I know it'll happen though. Don't worry we were just complaining about the heat last weekend when we were camping. We can never be happy. Great job
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you :)
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent use of alliteration with all those lovely "s" sounds and that wonderful "z" coming close too. It makes the cold seem just wonderful as you paint the picture of silver and shy sunrise.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Excellent use of alliteration with all those lovely "s" sounds and that wonderful "z" coming close too. It makes the cold seem just wonderful as you paint the picture of silver and shy sunrise.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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thank you w.j. debi :)
Comment from happykat4
Very nice. Format is great and follows the rules. I like the artwork and it compliments your poem, however, the blue background and the white lettering provide the picture very vividly through those elements. I feel chilled by the first line, the second line I know it is winter and the sky has clouds..the Silver sky makes me shiver. The third line lets the reader feel the cold go to the bone. It will be a long winter's day. Very nice. Good luck in contest I think you could win!! Kathy
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Very nice. Format is great and follows the rules. I like the artwork and it compliments your poem, however, the blue background and the white lettering provide the picture very vividly through those elements. I feel chilled by the first line, the second line I know it is winter and the sky has clouds..the Silver sky makes me shiver. The third line lets the reader feel the cold go to the bone. It will be a long winter's day. Very nice. Good luck in contest I think you could win!! Kathy
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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thank you Kathy :)
Comment from seaglass
I find winter unpleasant but I know individuals who love it. This Ode to winter depicts what you like. Sunlight is more defused hiding in all the shades of blue and grey. Lovely picture.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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I find winter unpleasant but I know individuals who love it. This Ode to winter depicts what you like. Sunlight is more defused hiding in all the shades of blue and grey. Lovely picture.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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thank you seaglass :)
Comment from Leineco
V e r y nice! Love that closing line. It set me off thinking about sunlight flirting at dawn with the pristine beauty of crystalized rivers, meadows and trees - small shafts reaching out tenuously - until finally, unable to resist, bathing her with brilliance. . .to make her diamonds glisten!
Wonderful Ode :-)
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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V e r y nice! Love that closing line. It set me off thinking about sunlight flirting at dawn with the pristine beauty of crystalized rivers, meadows and trees - small shafts reaching out tenuously - until finally, unable to resist, bathing her with brilliance. . .to make her diamonds glisten!
Wonderful Ode :-)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much Leineco :)