Sundowns
Cradling Grandson Memory38 total reviews
Comment from Amy Greta
This a beautiful yet sorrowful poem full of emotion. I love the "Breathing in at sundown..." repetition. My favorite part is the stanza with Grandma, throbbing throat, childlike whisper, "you will find me", it all almost made me cry.
~Amy
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
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This a beautiful yet sorrowful poem full of emotion. I love the "Breathing in at sundown..." repetition. My favorite part is the stanza with Grandma, throbbing throat, childlike whisper, "you will find me", it all almost made me cry.
~Amy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
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Thank you for feeling my poem. What a gift! Thank you.
Comment from inside echo
What a terribly sad poem. I am glad you can find peace sitting on your porch. Such and emotional and powerful poem. Your pain screams silently in every word. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so gently written, yet cries at the same time. Thank you for sharing your beautiful dedication. Thank you for also allowing us to watch the sunset on your porch with you. I am sorry you grieve so.
tgc
echo
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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What a terribly sad poem. I am glad you can find peace sitting on your porch. Such and emotional and powerful poem. Your pain screams silently in every word. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so gently written, yet cries at the same time. Thank you for sharing your beautiful dedication. Thank you for also allowing us to watch the sunset on your porch with you. I am sorry you grieve so.
tgc
echo
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you for reading my work.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, having read through it a couple of times, makes me ponder the moment, imagining only witnessing a sunset. As well, I register the poignant separation of what is past and unchangeable, and what shines brightly as the present and future.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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This poem, having read through it a couple of times, makes me ponder the moment, imagining only witnessing a sunset. As well, I register the poignant separation of what is past and unchangeable, and what shines brightly as the present and future.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you Bill.
Comment from sgalletti
What a beautiful piece of Free Verse, Nancy! This poem made me weep. That's how powerful it is. You gather that emotion in your reader from the lovely concrete imagery that puts the reader in your shoes. You show us. You don't tell us. To me, that is the sign of a great poet. Lovely flow and excellent selection of poetic techniques incorporated as well. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece - and, am so sorry for your loss and your grief. Sue
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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What a beautiful piece of Free Verse, Nancy! This poem made me weep. That's how powerful it is. You gather that emotion in your reader from the lovely concrete imagery that puts the reader in your shoes. You show us. You don't tell us. To me, that is the sign of a great poet. Lovely flow and excellent selection of poetic techniques incorporated as well. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece - and, am so sorry for your loss and your grief. Sue
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Sue, thank you for reading my work and for your words. Wow!
Comment from Dean Kuch
First and foremost, Amada, I am deeply saddened and sorry for your loss. No child should go before we do, and I simply can't comprehend the immense heartache and sorrow you must have endured, nor will I pretend to. You raw and genuine emotions pour out like teardrops through your poignant choice of words. Although I've yet to experience the joy of being a grandparent myself, I imagine losing a beloved grandchild would be unspeakably difficult. You've more than adequately displayed that pain here for us all to share in, and the imagery of sundown was the perfect metaphor to describe it.
So, relax on that porch you're so very fond of, and reminisce with fondness. Always remember that as long as his memory is with you there, he will never be truly gone.
God bless. ~Dean
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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First and foremost, Amada, I am deeply saddened and sorry for your loss. No child should go before we do, and I simply can't comprehend the immense heartache and sorrow you must have endured, nor will I pretend to. You raw and genuine emotions pour out like teardrops through your poignant choice of words. Although I've yet to experience the joy of being a grandparent myself, I imagine losing a beloved grandchild would be unspeakably difficult. You've more than adequately displayed that pain here for us all to share in, and the imagery of sundown was the perfect metaphor to describe it.
So, relax on that porch you're so very fond of, and reminisce with fondness. Always remember that as long as his memory is with you there, he will never be truly gone.
God bless. ~Dean
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you for reading my work. It seems so cold to say that! Thank you for your words "he will never be truly gone." No way.
Comment from Deejharrington
I can not imagine the heartache and sorrow you have endured. Every tear comes through your words. Losing a child, grandchild is unbearable. You have let the reader in to the hidden pain of that loss. I loved the imagery of sundown, and how you played with the words of light. The reader can "see" you sitting on that porch, with your memories. God bless.
deb
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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I can not imagine the heartache and sorrow you have endured. Every tear comes through your words. Losing a child, grandchild is unbearable. You have let the reader in to the hidden pain of that loss. I loved the imagery of sundown, and how you played with the words of light. The reader can "see" you sitting on that porch, with your memories. God bless.
deb
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you. Oh yes, thank you.
Comment from RGstar
Lovely, Amada. My sixes already out as this would have received one. A lovely calm write which gives radiance to the reflection of life at certain stages of our lives.
Beautiful imagery and well thought of.
My best to you today. Have a wonderful day.
RGstar
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Lovely, Amada. My sixes already out as this would have received one. A lovely calm write which gives radiance to the reflection of life at certain stages of our lives.
Beautiful imagery and well thought of.
My best to you today. Have a wonderful day.
RGstar
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you for the great wishes.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you allowing us to join you on your porch and understand your grief. Your repeated line is quite compelling as are your descriptions, as in the "yellow marigold crown". I am so sorry for your loss. -Joan
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you allowing us to join you on your porch and understand your grief. Your repeated line is quite compelling as are your descriptions, as in the "yellow marigold crown". I am so sorry for your loss. -Joan
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Joan.
Comment from ameen786
Amada my friend, you created quite a vivid/serene imagery in this well crafted poem; the repeat of "Breathing in at sundown," enhances the serene theme; the poem has some unique/lovely verses, "Sniff in these sunsets,"-beautiful!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Amada my friend, you created quite a vivid/serene imagery in this well crafted poem; the repeat of "Breathing in at sundown," enhances the serene theme; the poem has some unique/lovely verses, "Sniff in these sunsets,"-beautiful!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Ameen786
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello amada
excellent free verse especially when you said-
your porch I the perfect place to watch sun downs and recall memories from your past Me
I like to enjoy the happy part of my past.
Gert
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Hello amada
excellent free verse especially when you said-
your porch I the perfect place to watch sun downs and recall memories from your past Me
I like to enjoy the happy part of my past.
Gert
Comment Written 14-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your words, dear Gert :-)
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You are welcome amada