Beautiful Mouth
100 word dash contest39 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Nice photo of a female with a pretty face, that complements your short story perfectly. You fulfilled all the requirements and held the tension in it. It was not till the end I realized she was with the dentist:)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Nice photo of a female with a pretty face, that complements your short story perfectly. You fulfilled all the requirements and held the tension in it. It was not till the end I realized she was with the dentist:)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Robins, thank you so much. John
Comment from K. Lorraine
OMG, this is how I feel when I go to the dentist.
I wasn't sure where this story was going until the end.
Very original and a good contender in this contest.
It seems like you've met the contest requirements.
Best wishes...
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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OMG, this is how I feel when I go to the dentist.
I wasn't sure where this story was going until the end.
Very original and a good contender in this contest.
It seems like you've met the contest requirements.
Best wishes...
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Lorraine, thank you very much.
John
Comment from fimarie78
This is brilliant- well done! At the beginning, I wondered if she was a prostitute or it was a threesome or something. The final line was a fabulous twist. Hilarious that it meant the prick of the dentists tools. best wishes in the contest Fiona (thank you for making me smile)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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This is brilliant- well done! At the beginning, I wondered if she was a prostitute or it was a threesome or something. The final line was a fabulous twist. Hilarious that it meant the prick of the dentists tools. best wishes in the contest Fiona (thank you for making me smile)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Thank you fimarie.
Happy Easter.
John
Comment from Eric1
This is a truly wonderful entry for this one hundred word dash competition, it takes the reader down a completely different path to the one expected, Good writing and I wish you the best of luck my friend.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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This is a truly wonderful entry for this one hundred word dash competition, it takes the reader down a completely different path to the one expected, Good writing and I wish you the best of luck my friend.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2015
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Eric. Thank you my friend. Always appreciate your reviews.
John
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You are very welcome John.
Comment from Jennpenn
Very clever and saucy! In so few words you are ale to convey two complete and separate scenarios. An effort to be commended! It's exercises like this that make us each better writers, don't you think?
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Very clever and saucy! In so few words you are ale to convey two complete and separate scenarios. An effort to be commended! It's exercises like this that make us each better writers, don't you think?
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Thank you, jennpenn. Two reviews in one day.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Is it just me, with a mind in the gutter, or do you think everyone was thinking this sounded an awful lot like fellatio, heh-heh...? Of course, that's the whole idea behind flash fiction and what makes it work so well when done properly. You grab the reader and lead them along by the hand down one path, and at the crossroads you lead them in an entirely different direction than the one they thought they were going.
Great work, very funny and well written.
Best of luck to you! ~Dean ;}
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Is it just me, with a mind in the gutter, or do you think everyone was thinking this sounded an awful lot like fellatio, heh-heh...? Of course, that's the whole idea behind flash fiction and what makes it work so well when done properly. You grab the reader and lead them along by the hand down one path, and at the crossroads you lead them in an entirely different direction than the one they thought they were going.
Great work, very funny and well written.
Best of luck to you! ~Dean ;}
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Thank you, Dean. I do appreciate this awesome review. Yup, paths were correctly interpretted.
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You are very welcome. :)
Comment from jpduck
This certainly made me laugh. But I think you cheated a little -- when -- under what circumstances -- would either a dentist or his patient say or think, 'Never has a prick felt like that' or even 'The next prick was a little bigger'?
Adrian
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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This certainly made me laugh. But I think you cheated a little -- when -- under what circumstances -- would either a dentist or his patient say or think, 'Never has a prick felt like that' or even 'The next prick was a little bigger'?
Adrian
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Thank you, Adrian. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Jacob Collins
I liked reading this piece, you hooked me from the start as I was eager to find out what the outcome would be. I just noticed one spelling error. Here you have written: her dfirst penetrating move - dfirst should be first. Other than that I couldn't find any more faults. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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I liked reading this piece, you hooked me from the start as I was eager to find out what the outcome would be. I just noticed one spelling error. Here you have written: her dfirst penetrating move - dfirst should be first. Other than that I couldn't find any more faults. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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I took care of that blasted "d". Thanks, Jacob for reading.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL! That was so funny, Of course, I knew she was at the dentist, what else could it have possibly have been about? I think this one is very creative, saucy, but in a funny way. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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LOL! That was so funny, Of course, I knew she was at the dentist, what else could it have possibly have been about? I think this one is very creative, saucy, but in a funny way. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Thank you, Sandra. I appreciate your stopping to read and review. John
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I enjoyed this tale.
The misdirection was different, although when one has their teeth cleaned, it rarely causes 'pricking' - check-up may be better - just a thought.
It wasn't totally clear where the conflict element was in the context of the competition.
Also 'dfirst' - should that be first.
GMG
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Hi there,
I enjoyed this tale.
The misdirection was different, although when one has their teeth cleaned, it rarely causes 'pricking' - check-up may be better - just a thought.
It wasn't totally clear where the conflict element was in the context of the competition.
Also 'dfirst' - should that be first.
GMG
Comment Written 04-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2015
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Thank you, GMG. I appreciate your thoughts.