Comment from livelylinda

Excellent

Dean: There is much horror within this little story. It began for me at the first words because the picture is grotesque. Hair-raising? YES! Blood curdling? NO! I had the chills throughout. Grand idea having the victim dream of his own demise one minute before it actually happens. Great description of how the Lamia tears apart the victim. You are still the "King of the Kill". Linda

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thanks, Linda, I really appreciate that. I do try very hard to give anyone who cares enough to read what I've written the best "bang for their buck" I possibly can. I fell that it's the least I can do.

Thanks so much again for supporting this idea. Hopefully it'll be around for awhile. :)

Hugs! ~Dean :}

Comment from lakeport

Excellent

The lamas lullaby, indeed what a horrible dream, makes you glad to wake up.
I enjoyed reading the story, God bless you. lakeport,

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thanks for taking a look at it, lakeport. Much obliged. :) ~Dean

reply by lakeport on 27-Mar-2015

you are very welcome,lakeport,.

Comment from Ekim777

Excellent

Our poet presents us not with a dream. He has created a nightmare. This ghoul personifies the negative side of femininity; everything that is nourishing and inspirational.. Our poet has sketched for us the polarities we live by. But through all the blood and guts we should know that we are not capable of total destruction. Everything can only be transformed into something else. I reckon that power over someone or something is the root of all evil. As for writing about evil; I am stymied. (I would recommend you read Saint Genet by Jean Paul Sartre.) Genet tried to live by unadulterated evil and failed. -Ekim777

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2015

Thanks, Ekim, but I am not what I write. I don't burn black candles or sacrifice supple young virgins to Satan. I don't devour children's hearts or have upside down crosses in my home. I wouldn't touch an OUIJA board if someone gave me one as a gift. I'm just your average, normal, everyday family guy who likes to try to scare the pants off of people. I don't have tattoos nor pierced ears. I don't dress in all black leather (although I do like the color black, it's very slimming), and I believe in the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost with all of my being.

So, thanks for the suggestion, but I think I'll pass on that book you've suggested. There's probably very little in it I don't already know, heh-heh.

Thank you very much for your review. ~Dean ;)

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

As usual you hold the reader's attention and no matter how terrifying the words that follow are he is unable to stop as he must find out what's next. love the twist to the end after building all the fear you can muster.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thanks, Erica, and you're right. It's hard to scare people at all these days, much less with a flash fiction story. That is precisely the reason I took on the challenge, to help tighten up my prose. I figure if I can terrify readers in 200 words or less, I should be able to do the same with a much longer story -- if it's done right.

Thanks so much again, and pleasant screams, heh-heh... ~Dean

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

YEP YOU KEEP ME ON MY TOES TRYING TO SHAKE OFF THE VISIONS OF GLOOM AND DOOM YOU POSSES WHEN YOU ARE WRITING THESE SCARY EPISODES. CHILLS RUN UP AND DOWN MY SPINE

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Well, someone's gotta keep you o your toes around here, country, so it might as well be me. Chills up & down the spine is the greatest compliment one who writes horror stories can ever be paid.

Thanks a million, my dear friend. :) ~Dean

reply by country ranch writer on 27-Mar-2015

AWE NOW I BLUSH!

Comment from boxergirl

Excellent

Okay Dean. I wont be able to look at my alarm clock the same in the middle of the night. Vivid imagery of the attack. Checking my closet as well. 8-)

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2015

Heh-heh, that's good then, boxergirl. It means the story did what it was designed to do, scare the pants off you and make you fear those mundane, simple, everyday tasks and activities we all have to perform. You know, like sleeping? LOL.

Much obliged for the awesome review, my friend. :)

~Dean

Comment from NomaFaith

Exceptional

I love the twist in this poem. I like the way it gets you going because you think it's real and then it turns out that it's a dream. My favorite lines are, "Frank glances at his nightstand, then to the alarm clock. 12:00 AM flashes back.
The bedroom closet cracks slightly, then slowly creaks open..."
Great job as always.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thank you for the generous rating and excellent response to this tiny terror, Noma. I'm really glad that you're getting into this series, and I hope that soon many more will come to like these short snippets of horror as much as you do.

Have a super day today, ya' hear? ~Dean :}

Comment from Treischel

Excellent

The ending was very subtlety surprising. You built up the tension with the terrifying scene of ripping teeth, then released the pressure. Then WHAM, you hit use again. Oh so clever.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Thank you, Tom. I really appreciate you taking a look at this. Thanks for the great feedback, my friend. :)

~Dean

Comment from Linda Engel

Excellent

the un-nerving reality that this terror is going to happen over and over again. short, simple and so graphic. Thank you so much for the great notes . Puts a whole different , terrifying spin on the piece.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015

Thanks, Linda. Flash fiction is so very difficult to write properly and make it work for the reader. But when you couple that with trying to scare the pants off them, it makes it even doubly more difficult. So, having said that, at least I was able to scare you, if only a little.

Thanks for the review. ~Dean

Comment from forestport12

Exceptional

A talented entry. First thing I noted was how you wrote in active voice through out and didn't fall into the temptation of sliding in a was or went. A strong, intelligent flash horror.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2015

Thanks very much for the six star rating, Stan. I appreciate your interest in these snippets of horror, and your support.

Thanks again. ~Dean