Comment from Andrewajgblue

Excellent

What a great short story, straight down to it with the horror, it was written very vividly, I enjoyed the detail it made it very real and shocking, great writing, it would make a great fictional piece if fleshed out fully, it certainly had me hooked,
Andrew

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thank you, Andrew. I am very glad to know that you enjoyed it, buddy. :)

Comment from Father Flaps

Excellent

Holy Cow! Dean. I don't know what to say about this. You write it so real. I'm now wondering who this woman was, dead in the bathtub... an innocent victim?
"It's what I'm known for." ... this line makes me wonder if he isn't a well-known serial killer who ejaculates on his victims.
"A police officer brandishes a weapon in the reflection behind me.
I yank away, then tear off for the bedroom, knocking over a family photo in the process. I pause -- glancing down. A uniformed policeman is pictured accepting an award.
She smiles in the photograph next to him." ... this suggests he has killed a policeman's wife. The policeman comes home to interrupt his fantasy.
Now that I think about it... the fishing line, and cuts in the body... I bet this serial killer has been aptly named "The Puppeteer". Gruesome! The policeman shoots him, no questions asked. Why would he? What a way to find your wife!
What a story... Holy Cow!
A couple of minor suggestions..

"Exhilarated, my fist grips the ice pick tight." .... (what do you think of this, Dean?
Exhilarated, my fist tightly grips the ice pick.)

"My knuckles flare white." ... (I suggest,
Knuckles flare white.)

Good Luck in the contest!
cheers
Kimbob

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thanks for the suggestion, Kimbob, I went ahead and took your advice and implemented your suggestion. As for the contest, that's probably a lost cause for me with less than two hours to go. But I appreciate the well wishes just the same.

Take care. ~Dean

Comment from forestport12

Excellent

The power of your descriptions are first rate. You exposed your writing, or let's say you flashed us good. Once again you are smart with what you write, though weird and twisted, it describes the morbid arousal that type of person would get from the sexual torture. Hard to read and hard not to read all at the same time. You have such keen insights into human mind and heart.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thank you, Stan. I do try really hard, LOL. Now, if only a few more voters felt as you do, I wouldn't be losing the contest.

Much obliged, my friend. :)

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Brilliant, dean. One of my favourite tunes and you've made it blend in seamlessly with this fun story of gore and beyond more.

I always get the heebeegeebees when the goins on are goin on in the bathtub and there's knives in the picture too.

Very nicely written. Best wishes to you in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thanks, Gloria. I sincerely appreciate your constructive feed back, my friend. I often write about what scares me most. Being naked and completely vulnerable in the bathtub or shower is one of those things. Ever seen Hitchcok's "Psycho"? Geesh! That film is probably to blame. Heh-heh...

Thanks again, and take care! ~Dean

reply by Gloria .... on 14-Mar-2015

I've seen Psycho too many times. It's the main reason I keep my eyes open and a gun on the whatnot shower shelf just in case. :)

reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

You're not kiddin'! That movie scared the bejeezus outta' me! :0

Comment from IndianaIrish

Excellent

I think a collection of horror short stories would be perfect for you and your many fans, Dean. I like short horror stories much better than a collection of any other genre. This is deliciously gory and loved the unexpected ending. How do you create the em-dashes that you use in this story? They seem wider than the em-dashes I've seen. Best of luck in the contest.
Smiles,
Indy :-)

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thanks, Indy, I really appreciate your constructive feedback.

The dash-ems are created holding down the "alt" key on your keypad, while typing 1-5-1 on your numeric keypad to the right. It will only work if your computer has the numeric keypad.

There is an entire list of "alt codes" you can look up on Google. Just do a search for alt codes, and you'll find them.

Thanks again, and take care.

~Dean :)

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Kool story, Deano. As usual, You have the keys to the horror theme. You've even got the woman in a picture in this one...Great job, my friend.

"Digging deep into her left breast, I detach bits of her whorish heart with each stab. I dip my hands into the gash, covering myself with her viscous fluids. Her essence is upon me." YIKES! LOL...Bob

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2015

Thanks, Bob, and I realize it's rather graphic. I wanted my readers to despise this creep, the Puppeteer. I wanted them to feel elated when the poor mauled madam's cop husband gunned him down. The sad thing is there are people out there like the Puppeteer. Those are the kinds of monsters --- the human kind --- who scare me the most.

Much obliged for the review. :)

~Dean

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

This was a well written piece of grisly terror writing. The crowds are lapping it up. It may be they get turned on by this too... a scary thought. Policeman gone feral. Glad he was caught, but it's too late.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015

Thanks for giving this terror tale with a twist a shot, Curly Girly (no pun intended, LOL). I wanted my readers to loathe this creepy, Puppeteer character, feeling no remorse or pity for him when the murdered woman's cop husband guns him down. Hence the grisly nature of his crime and the way in which I presented it. Personally, I feel that's how these sadistic serial killers and pedophile rapists should be dealt with. One swift bullet to the brain.

Much obliged, my friend. :)

~Dean

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Dean, I don't like the theme at all as I am not into horror stories. I found this particular garish. I am no prude I might say. But having said that, your writing is very very good and you can certainly tell and write a story. Well done. Ulla

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015

Thanks, Ulla, and I fully understand that stories such as these are not everyone's cup of tea. That being said, I doubly appreciate you taking the time to read this and offer your opinions on the story. I also appreciate you rating it based upon the execution, and not just the context.

Much obliged. :)

~Dean

Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Very interesting take on the theme. You are a wonderful horror story writer, and this one is as tasteful as they come. As always, I enjoy your work. It is intense and descriptive.

Love the ending!

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015

Thank you very much, Rhonda. I certainly appreciate your encouraging comments, as well as your time spent reviewing this.

Much obliged. :)

~Dean

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Gory, indeed. You don't leave no stone overturned. I think if H.H. Holmes was alive he'd be a real fan, especially of this short story. Too bad they tore that building where he tortured his victims. Could've been a real tourist attraction. Your writing is dark, but perfectly written. No sixes left, so it's five. Superb!!! Les

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2015

Thanks very much, Les. I'm just glad the story did for you what it was designed to do. Terrify, shock and (hopefully) entertain. I am very grateful for your feedback. ~Dean :)