Comment from Eigle Rull

Excellent

Ouch! I hate dentists! This picture says it all. You didn't even have to write anything. However, what you did write was right on the money, like usual. It was cute, but it sure brought back bad memories from many years ago when I had my own teeth.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014

Fortunately, no pain after the numbness wore off. No swelling either. The only thing that hurt was the bill.

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

Spitfire, this one is so fun. The line and syllable count, the title, the subject matter, and the punch line at the end is very creative and successful. Good alliteration, too. Nice job! :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014

THanks Gracie Ann. Appreciate the nice review and stars.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I like your poem. I believe may can identify with it. I am confused with 'tasor.' I am learning more about senryu. Please forgive me if I do not comment to much on that format. I do not want to say something wrong about something you have right. So, I would not change anything.
Your picture is perfect. Good job.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2014

Tasor is a gun used by police to temporarily paralyzed their quarry. I did make one goof in this, but fixed it now. Thanks for your praise.

Comment from Donya Quijote

Excellent

This made me think of one of my current students who just had a tooth removed yesterday. A local with five needles to numb a rotten tooth. Poor thing suffered for almost weeks with a painful toothache before she able to get to a dentist. Thank goodness it didn't abscess. Remember 5-7-5 isn't an absolute in senryu as in haiku. Very vivid imagery. Comes ghost pains as my mouth hurt as I read and I have never had a cavity and when my wisdom teeth were removed I given gas. That was a trip. Hope you and hubby are doing well. It's so hot and humid here at night right now that I can't sleep so I thought I would drop FS for a bit...

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Always good to hear from you, Diana. Nothing is worse than a toothache. Never had a cavity? What a blessing. When young, I had thirteen at the same time! Daddy was always buying candy.
Sorry about the ghost pains. Gas would be a trip. Hubby and I doing good considering our age bracket. LOL

Comment from stroncoso1

Good

The poem is written as one complete thought. It works effectively from start to finished. This sounds like a personal experience.

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 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Brush up your knowledge of English grammar. The last line is a fragment.

reply by stroncoso1 on 07-Sep-2014

I didn't say it wasn't a fragment. I gave a positive comment that your (entire) poem came off effectively as a complete thought. That's a compliment.

Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

What is a tasor? Or did you mean laser? Either way it sounds painful and even though I want to know what happened I also don't at the same time. Hope you feel better friend

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Tasor is a stun gun used by police to temporarily paralyze their prey. It is painful as portrayed on TV.

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

Dear Shari: this one is masterfully done in you unmatched brilliance of the "short and sweet" I loved it and got a great chuckle! Vance....Mr. outa sixes! The HUGS are piling up over here.

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 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

I know you're never out of hugs and kisses, you Cassanova, you.
:-)