Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

I take it the Pantoum Sonnet contest due date is nearly here, Debi? This is about the fifth entry I've seen and read today for that particular contest. I certainly wish I could wait until the last second to write something this good and enter it into a contest. But, I have to start months in advance, so it can be tweaked, edited and edited some more...

I've got two changeling children these fairies can take off my hands. I could use a break!

Very creepy, Debi, for most. To me, it was beautiful.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you for the complimentary review, Dean. I am happy you liked this one and considered it beautiful. Fairies can be creepy if you read the old tales.

I always love your work, so whatever or however you are doing your writing, keep it up.

Debi

reply by Dean Kuch on 21-Jun-2014

No problem, Debi. You do the same.

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

I never knew fairies bought human children - I just thought they flittered around sprinkling lovely fairy dust on everyone. LOL.

Excellent meter and enjambment, Debi, plus top rhymes and spookiness.

I REALLY enjoyed this inspired and darkly entertaining poem, very much.

Good luck, and best wishes, Ray

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you for the encouraging review, Ray. I am happy you found it "darkly entertaining".

The fairies in mideal tales took human children for various reasons. In Scandinavian and European cultures these tales are most common. For people it was basically a way to explain why children became sick and died or were mentally or physically inferior. (the fairies took the human child and replaced it with an enchanted stick that looked like the child and then grew weak and died as the magic wore off). Or why the child was mentally or physically inferior. The fairies got the healthy child. Sometimes the humans raised a fairy child until it was grown and then it would run off. Maybe it gave parents the hope that they could one day find their real child. There are a lot more variations than I can list here, but it can be fun and a bit creepy to research.

reply by Domino 2 on 21-Jun-2014

Thanks for the interesting info, Debi.

Blimey, I'll never think of a Fairy Tale the same way again. :-) xx

Comment from Just2Write

Exceptional

One of my favourite poems is "The Changeling" by Charlotte Mew. It was written in 1916. It is a beautiful piece of writing told from the POV of a a little boy who was lured away from his nursery by fairies and who had left a changeling in his place.

I liked your Pantoum Sonnet and the correct use of Repeating lines with changing nuance - Lovely submission to the contest.

Rose.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you for the generous six stars, Rose. Thank you even more for the encouraging comments about the writing! I will have to look up the poem you mention. I'll bet I will like it too. Thank you, Debi

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I am now going to beware of all fairies. LOL I enjoyed reading your contest entry. I have read a few poems this morning for this contest. Good luck.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you for the fun comments, Barabara. I appreciate the good luck wishes. Debi

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Your poem shows that you have a high degree of creative imagination. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an interesting read. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you, Charlie. I am flattered by your comments. You have me smiling. I appreciate the good luck wishes. Debi

reply by c_lucas on 21-Jun-2014

You're welcome, Debi. Charlie

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

solid rhyming in excellent English sonnet rhyming pattern
strong use of consistent iambic meter
nice alliteration in phrases like precious prize
excellent use of the pantoum's pattern of repeating lines
good assonance in beware/fairy
good alliteration in changeling child
effective use of strong verbs to add dramatic intensity
good assonance in secure your doors
This is well composed and has strong content told in an eerie mood - well done!
Brooke

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Thank you for the well written review, Brooke. I appreciate the analysis and the detail you give. I am happy you found it eerie as that was my intent.
Debi

Comment from Louise Michelle

Exceptional

Hi Debi,

This is so well written and could be classified under 'horror.' You did such a good job building up the tension by warning the reader/parent to lock the doors, be aware, etc. The thought of one's child being exchanged for a troll is really scary. Well done.

Hugs,
Lou

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

I am so flattered by the six stars, but even more by your comments, Lou. I appreciate the detail. Scary enough to be horror--I like that. Thank you! Debi

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

well written debi. enjoyed this little poetry urban myth lol

interesting line set out is that intentional for a pantoum?
i really admire poets who can write to parameters and restrictions well done!

dip

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014

Hi Dr Dip.
Yes, the pattern of repeated lines is specific for this type of sonnet. Lines 2 & 4 of each stanza become lines 1 & 3 of the next stanza. The final couplet has to be the same as lines 1 & 3 from the first stanza. It was fun to try, but a bit tricky trying to make it make sense.
Thank you for the encouraging review. I appreciate it.
Debi

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Oh what happens to the taken human child? Yikes yikes yikes
I love this creepy poem made creepier because it involves the innocent
You have given me inspiration
God bless

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Hi Kiwijenny,
I am happy to hear you liked this and that it has inspired you. I can't wait to see what you come up with.
In the medieval legends, the human child might be raised by the fairies as one of them, as a servant, or as a pet. The legends are mostly Scandinavian and European and vary quite a bit. Even the reason for taking the human varies quite a bit--from just finding the child beautiful, to spiteful revenge for something a human has done, to believing fairies need to be raised by a human in order to grow to adulthood.
I am so happy you enjoyed reading it.

Have fun--and watch out for fairy lights tonight.
Debi

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This looks like an excellent entry in phantoun sonnet contest, I like this one! it's a little different from the usual subject matter! I'm not terribly familiar with the mechanics of mythical stories but I found the subject matter well written and narrative descriptively good! The structure is good, and the image creation great, the abab rhyming is good, meter even! Well done, good luck, blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2014

Thank you for all the detailed kind and encouraging comments, Roy. I am happy you enjoyed this one. Thank you for the good luck wishes. Debi