Bookends
The beginning and the end53 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
8-6-8-6. The wording is good making for an easy read. Good flow. I find no fault in the way it moves or worded. Well done poet. shalom to you friend.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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8-6-8-6. The wording is good making for an easy read. Good flow. I find no fault in the way it moves or worded. Well done poet. shalom to you friend.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Ben. I appreciate the review.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Oooh you are a veritable little piece of verbal candy aren't you? LOL Nice matching bookends and I love how you weave the perils of a flirtatious interlude into everyday situations but with such a unique take. Forget the tics, you, my friend, could turn a rhyme on a pinhead...LOL Loved your internals on this one (yum) and pity the lady who opens her mouth or anything else too wide around you...LOL
Hello and Goodbye never sounded so poetic, but of course with the Maestroillion on the job how could it NOT drip with sweet, honey? So many smooth lines here but I have to say the verbal sugar cane got me wanting to eat your candy. Hah! Marillicious job you...can't wait to see your next offering, or is it battering? Shellacking maybe? Nah, that one's mine mate haha. Til then...digits signing off. They need their rest. LOL Am so very much enjoying that ink in your pen, not to mention length, depth and wordsmanshipness.
Hugs P
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Oooh you are a veritable little piece of verbal candy aren't you? LOL Nice matching bookends and I love how you weave the perils of a flirtatious interlude into everyday situations but with such a unique take. Forget the tics, you, my friend, could turn a rhyme on a pinhead...LOL Loved your internals on this one (yum) and pity the lady who opens her mouth or anything else too wide around you...LOL
Hello and Goodbye never sounded so poetic, but of course with the Maestroillion on the job how could it NOT drip with sweet, honey? So many smooth lines here but I have to say the verbal sugar cane got me wanting to eat your candy. Hah! Marillicious job you...can't wait to see your next offering, or is it battering? Shellacking maybe? Nah, that one's mine mate haha. Til then...digits signing off. They need their rest. LOL Am so very much enjoying that ink in your pen, not to mention length, depth and wordsmanshipness.
Hugs P
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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I'm hard...right now. Your review is arousing to the rogue, who for some reason takes over when you come round, P.
Seriously, though, the genius of your poetry is matched by the genius of your reviews, and I truly appreciate how you can effectively comment while at the same time entertain, and I find your remarks validating and appreciated. Thank you, P, for you and for your talent.
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Well looky looky what we have here.
Toy boy am I gonna FRIGGIN get you hard with my next one...oooooh.
Just finished it...you'll take a shellacking I'll have you know.
*smiling wickedly*
I think if I was a guy I'd be the Rock of Gibraltar right now.
Mmmmmmmmm.
You bad. Behave!
x
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You tease. I may have to do some shellacking to the B-team while I wait for A-team to pop back in again. ;-) Love what you wrote, my friend. Too bad I'm limited to giving you six when the rogue has a much greater reach that that. ;-)
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Me tease?
No sweety pie...like I said...PRElewd.
Boy are you SO friggin in for it.
I gotta go read my post again.
Oh yeah I figured you were from LongReach.
It's surprisingly warm Down Under at the mo my little RoVo.
Hope you like your new nickname...well, it's THAT or D-Knack...haha I'll let YOU work it out.
Till next time you delicious bit of filth on a stick.
XXX
(that's the rating on my neXXXt post)
teefrigginhee
PS I'm really the A-Team? Damn fibber. I'm B and you know it.
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You're the B of the A, my pet. Carry on, while I look for a place to beat my stick on. By the way, pretty good typing considering I'm not using my hands. It's the hunt and peck method...
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Go lift some cars. I hear that's what you Yanks do.
Bloody show ponies! LMAO
What's this hunt for a pecker shit? LOL
God I'm ON FIRE tonight...and I need sleep.
Gotta take my little tadpoles to swimming lessons tomorr...er correction later this morning.
Oooh...you type with your di...
igits??
Yep, positively molten lava. I may aswell stay up now, I'll probably internally combust if I go to bed.
I'm off for a cold shower.
Yeah yeah it works for the women too.
Now get your pecker off the keyboard, it's unhygenic. There IS Querty edicate you know darling?
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Cars? Nah, I always find a better way to get a pump than that. Get some sleep, my dark and dirty princess. We'll play later. :-)
Love that nickname you came up with. I think I'll keep it...
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Likewise.
Hugs
DDP
x
Comment from Janie King
A happy part and a sad part, sigh. I never review on style as I am no poet and my ignorance would soon show. Good job. God loves you and so do I.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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A happy part and a sad part, sigh. I never review on style as I am no poet and my ignorance would soon show. Good job. God loves you and so do I.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Janie. I just appreciate the review.
David
Comment from Tatarka2
Another 6. I just don't know how you could improve this. Such unique use of words! The message is clearly there, but told in such an expected way that the poem flows quickly and keeps the reader engaged from beginning to end. Congratulations on a job well done.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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Another 6. I just don't know how you could improve this. Such unique use of words! The message is clearly there, but told in such an expected way that the poem flows quickly and keeps the reader engaged from beginning to end. Congratulations on a job well done.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2014
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You're so sweet, my friend, and I truly appreciate your time and sixer, and the review. THank you.
David
Comment from MM lives on :)
Marillion once again I have stumbled upon your ink and touching it was indeed a most expressive poem with notes explaining what style and formation..Thanks for the heartfelt read
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Marillion once again I have stumbled upon your ink and touching it was indeed a most expressive poem with notes explaining what style and formation..Thanks for the heartfelt read
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Christopher. I appreciate your time and your kind review. David
Comment from GWinterwin
Good poem with a good picture to make it complete. Good word flow and great rhyming in telling this little story. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Good poem with a good picture to make it complete. Good word flow and great rhyming in telling this little story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Thanks very much, GWinter! I really appreciate the review.
Comment from adewpearl
solid rhyming couplets and good internal rhymes too
a good steady cadence due to regular use of iambic meter
love the attitude in the speaker but most of all I really like the sound of this when read aloud
Brooke
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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solid rhyming couplets and good internal rhymes too
a good steady cadence due to regular use of iambic meter
love the attitude in the speaker but most of all I really like the sound of this when read aloud
Brooke
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Thanks so much, Brooke. I'm pretty manic about making sure it flows, so I appreciate you saying so.
Comment from paulah60
Yet another superlative piece written through you! Expertly configured, not just in terms of rhyme and meter, but also the content...so highly nuanced that an analysis would fill pages!
The image of bookends for beginnings and endings is an inspired choice. Of course, there's always a beginning in a relationship, but I'm not convinced there's an end. The imprint can't be erased. That "person" remains in your unconscious. What there is over time is a psychic DISTANCE. And your use of the bookend image very cleverly and subtly conveys this.
Love that you confess your lack of confidence at the outset (In my despair, I spied you there, but failed to rise and speak?An inner scream escaped a dream, and vocalized a squeak.') From what I'm starting to discern from your writing, David, one of your finest qualities is your honesty. You own your insecurities and don't pretend you're anything that you're not. Sure, the rogue is fun, and despite the suggestiveness (some of it, quite bold, and we give back as good as we get...hey, flirting is one of the nicer aspects of life!), there is no seamy undercurrent (and there are certainly some on this site that do have a questionable hidden agenda: can't read it; can't see it; can't hear it, but can sure FEEL it). You inspire me, but still out of sixes.
There is one lucky girl out there somewhere, mate!
Cheers
Paula
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Yet another superlative piece written through you! Expertly configured, not just in terms of rhyme and meter, but also the content...so highly nuanced that an analysis would fill pages!
The image of bookends for beginnings and endings is an inspired choice. Of course, there's always a beginning in a relationship, but I'm not convinced there's an end. The imprint can't be erased. That "person" remains in your unconscious. What there is over time is a psychic DISTANCE. And your use of the bookend image very cleverly and subtly conveys this.
Love that you confess your lack of confidence at the outset (In my despair, I spied you there, but failed to rise and speak?An inner scream escaped a dream, and vocalized a squeak.') From what I'm starting to discern from your writing, David, one of your finest qualities is your honesty. You own your insecurities and don't pretend you're anything that you're not. Sure, the rogue is fun, and despite the suggestiveness (some of it, quite bold, and we give back as good as we get...hey, flirting is one of the nicer aspects of life!), there is no seamy undercurrent (and there are certainly some on this site that do have a questionable hidden agenda: can't read it; can't see it; can't hear it, but can sure FEEL it). You inspire me, but still out of sixes.
There is one lucky girl out there somewhere, mate!
Cheers
Paula
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Paula, you always make me smile, laugh, or blush...or all three. Thank you for that, and for your always intuitive thoughts. I really appreciate everything, my friend. Looking forward to seeing you take the rogue down...in several ways, of course. :) Cheers!
David
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Good. In 24 hours...I'm coming for you LMAO!
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Yes, please do cum for me. ;-)
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You first. How good am I? Not many gals would say THAT! Oh...wait up, you did. You've just blown it. NO rogue would say THAT!
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Don't you know, m'lady, that creating tension with unpredictability is the forte of the rogue? The rogue is, however, a generous lover, it's just that he never stays around afterwards. ;-)
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So I guess that what's in vogue is a rogue with a drogue, you know, a device for firing practice (shooting blanks of course!). I'm not that clever, I looked it up LOL
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You're too honest, my friend. I would've believed you knew it already. I actually didn't, thereby proving your theory about my own honesty....when I'm not in rogue mode, at least.
Comment from TAB_that's me
It sounds like it had a great beginning, not much in between and a not so good ending. Well written poem though:)
~~Teresa~~
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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It sounds like it had a great beginning, not much in between and a not so good ending. Well written poem though:)
~~Teresa~~
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Yep, you've nailed, it, Teresa. Thank you very much for stopping by and reviewing. I appreciate it.
Comment from Leineco
This is a very interesting poem - both in its varieties of possible line breaks AND its start to finish approach to romance. Leaving out the details - but driving the story home.
Personally, I really like the purity of it (let's face it, the details are not important, and quite frankly as varied as each life is).
But you have told the story here of every relationship that ever went off the rails.
Very succinctly (and interestingly) done :-)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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This is a very interesting poem - both in its varieties of possible line breaks AND its start to finish approach to romance. Leaving out the details - but driving the story home.
Personally, I really like the purity of it (let's face it, the details are not important, and quite frankly as varied as each life is).
But you have told the story here of every relationship that ever went off the rails.
Very succinctly (and interestingly) done :-)
Comment Written 06-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much, Leineco, for your insightful and kind review. I really appreciate it. Yes, I chose to focus on the beginning and the end, and let the others fill in the middle.