Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

You know you are in trouble when the doctor stops the examination and ask you to go pay your bill. This is very well written.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks, Charlie.

Steve

reply by c_lucas on 08-Jan-2014

You are welcome, Steve. Charlie

Comment from Kenneth Schaal

Excellent

You're going to make those Judges work, aren't you? I liked the international imperfections in the language; they appear intentional. No, exercise won't fix it. Take the pill. Kenny

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks, Kenny.

I picture those judges as a very serious bunch who will take one look at this and put it in the also-ran pile....

Steve

reply by Kenneth Schaal on 08-Jan-2014

I dunno Kiwi; you have a nose for gold.

Comment from Sanku

Exceptional

That was an excellent ,humorous and beautiful poem. It is a wonder how you managed to write this with rhyming couplets.the description of the waiting room with chicken pox on the left and diphtheria on the right was really funny .i am still smiling widely .thanks a lot for this poem.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thank you for the kind words. The big smile and occasional chuckle is what it's all for really.

Steve

Comment from Dawn Munro

Exceptional

Wow, that's pretty high BP, and take it from one who knows 'cause I've been there - just put in me a dentist's chair and it'll surely shoot up there again too, meds or no meds. (Yes, I'm on daily pill also, though my resting BP is nowhere near as high. Hahahaha - too much trauma from dentist visits; seriously!)

As always, your rhyme and meter are fabulous, and the tale you tell, hilarious. Best of luck in the contest, Steve. Nothing less than a six will do. :)

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Dawn, thanks so much for the kind review. Hopefully the medication will do the trick and I will be able to keep away from the doctor for another 10 years!

Steve

reply by Dawn Munro on 08-Jan-2014

You are very welcome. (Don't wait so long. Go to that doctor every year. I hate to go too...sigh... :)

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

I love it, it has brilliant humor, yet everything is true. A free check up, but could end up to cost more than money.
I enjoyed every stanza. Well done Mary

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks, Mary - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Exceptional

Hi kiwisteveh,

I wouldn't even try to get the sphygo-thingy into an iambic anything! I enjoyed this thoroughly, hence the six. Your description of the Waiting Room brought tears to me eyes. You've obviously encountered an NHS GP's waiting room - designed to ensure maximum cross-infection and keep the till ringing (metaphorically - its supposed to be 'free' at point of use, but we pay for it ...).

Nicely done!

Patrick

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks, Patrick - I suspect that waiting rooms are similar th eworld over - confirmed by some of the reviews I have been getting.

I am thankful my GP offered the free check up, otherwise my condition would have gone undetected since I have no other reason to visit a doctor.

Steve

reply by Patrick G Cox on 08-Jan-2014

Lucky indeed, hypertension is a sneaky one. good thing they picked it up.

Patrick

Comment from G.B. Smith

Excellent

Hey there Steve
Man you crack me up. I love the quirky way this is crafted and written, so that someone as anal as myself can understand it. I think it is a winning Quatrain Poetry Contest entry & wish you the best
Bear

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks, bear.

Glad you got a smile out of this. I won't be holding my breath for the committee's decision, though - it would probably raise my BP!

Steve

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

I'll take your pill, I swear I will, and thanks for your assistance,
But from henceforth both south and north, I'm going to keep my distance!"

I guess you really did didn't you? Heheh I'll made sure to get regular check ups. I promise.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thank you!

Yep, probably a good idea, despite those waiting room blues.

Steve

reply by Gungalo on 08-Jan-2014

Smiling at you Steve.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hi Steve,

How cleverly you found a rhyme for ague!

I love your delightful carry on - the description of the plague-ridden waiting room - and the 'most dead dame are SO you!

Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for the chuckle and the admonition in the author notes.

Sonali :)


coming here (')midst bugs

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks, Sonali

The funny thing is I never felt ill at all - without the offer of the free check I would never have gone to the doctor.

Steve

reply by Selina Stambi on 08-Jan-2014

That was me and my cancer, my friend. I'm thankful to be alive - God was on your side, methinks! :)

Comment from visionary1234

Exceptional

OMG YOU MADE ME CHOKE! (different from 'all choked up', I can assure you, even when you mentioned the superiority of the Aussies in certain areas). Gilbert & Sullivan, Flanders & Swann ... EAT YOUR FRIGGING HEARTS OUT FOR STEVE-OH! GOD YOU MADE ME LAUGH - NEARLY PEED IN MY PANTS!
:)SHARYN

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Yes, I believe they sell something for Light Bladder leakage - there is probably a poem in that somewhere.

Thanks for all the capitals!

Steve

reply by visionary1234 on 08-Jan-2014

They're called "Depends" - for future reference of course!