Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Elephant Ride"Poems written using the pantoum form
82 total reviews
Comment from cinderbella
I love the rhythm and repetition pattern in the pantoum, and you have really done it justice with this poem. The artwork is wonderful. Excellent. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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I love the rhythm and repetition pattern in the pantoum, and you have really done it justice with this poem. The artwork is wonderful. Excellent. :) Sandra
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for another kind review, Sandra. Very much appreciated as always.
Comment from GregoryCody
Hmm interesting form. Well done. You ave told another strong story in your poetry. Great piece. Your rhymes are natural. To have a solid low and the repeating lines are wonderfully chosen. So is Ganesh crying bc we abuse these animals?
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Hmm interesting form. Well done. You ave told another strong story in your poetry. Great piece. Your rhymes are natural. To have a solid low and the repeating lines are wonderfully chosen. So is Ganesh crying bc we abuse these animals?
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Thanks for your kind review, Gregory. I guess Ganesh is something like the patron saint of elephants, so he probably wouldn't be pleased! The training methods are pretty barbaric.
Comment from annatberry
You did a wonderful job on this poem. It was very enjoyable to read and lovely. Your passion is truly in your writing. I can tell why you got "all time best"
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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You did a wonderful job on this poem. It was very enjoyable to read and lovely. Your passion is truly in your writing. I can tell why you got "all time best"
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your kind review, Anna. Much appreciated!
Comment from TOMORAL
All I can seem to write are aabb so I stand in awe of this excellent pantoum. You tell a beautiful story and do it with great writing. Thanks for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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All I can seem to write are aabb so I stand in awe of this excellent pantoum. You tell a beautiful story and do it with great writing. Thanks for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks for your kind review, Tomoral. Much appreciated!
Comment from paulah60
The pantoum can't be an easy form to write, but, as with your last one, looks like you've succeeded again, Tony. Also, very appropriate to the subject matter.
Your words implicitly highlight the ugly insensitivity of those who objectify animals and think they don't have any feelings.
A very moving piece (further enhanced by the beautiful pic).
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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The pantoum can't be an easy form to write, but, as with your last one, looks like you've succeeded again, Tony. Also, very appropriate to the subject matter.
Your words implicitly highlight the ugly insensitivity of those who objectify animals and think they don't have any feelings.
A very moving piece (further enhanced by the beautiful pic).
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Paula, for another lovely review! There is some great work being done in elephant sanctuaries up in Thailand but until the mass of visiting tourists transfer their allegiance to these the almighty tourist dollar will continue to sustain the elephant trekking business. It is a matter of re-education largely. That is one of the reasons my daughter was up there.
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Great to hear, Tony, and more power to your daughter. But I suspect it's going to take more than re-education. If people aren't in touch with their own essence, they sure can't respect it another. In a culture that conditions us to objectify other humans, hell, what chance do animals have?!
I wonder if this is what's behind the passion for my "I wish I were/If I could be" collection, kind of like giving animals a voice that says "up yours" to humans.
Comment from mroberts
Excellent pantoum. Your poem conveys the anguish in the soul of this beautiful creature. The reference to the mythical Ganesh is wonderful. The rhythmic iambic beat models the plodding gait of the sullen elephant. Your words clearly evoke the images. Even without the photo, I see the sad grey form.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Excellent pantoum. Your poem conveys the anguish in the soul of this beautiful creature. The reference to the mythical Ganesh is wonderful. The rhythmic iambic beat models the plodding gait of the sullen elephant. Your words clearly evoke the images. Even without the photo, I see the sad grey form.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, MR, for your flattering review! There is some great work being done in elephant sanctuaries up in Thailand but until the mass of visiting tourists transfer their allegiance to these the almighty tourist dollar will continue to sustain the elephant trekking business. It is a matter of re-education largely.
Comment from Matoshka
This is so well presented, my friend, and made my heart heavy with sadness for this plight they are in. To be snatched away from their herds, which are family. Even in captivity, they somewhere have the memories of running free. I enjoyed the write. Blessings
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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This is so well presented, my friend, and made my heart heavy with sadness for this plight they are in. To be snatched away from their herds, which are family. Even in captivity, they somewhere have the memories of running free. I enjoyed the write. Blessings
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Maroshka, for your kind review! There is some great work being done in elephant sanctuaries up in Thailand but until the mass of visiting tourists transfer their allegiance to these the almighty tourist dollar will continue to sustain the elephant trekking business. It is a matter of re-education largely. That is one of the reasons my daughter was up there.
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You are so welcome, and I pray your daughter is able to change the minds of many. Many blessings
Comment from michaelcahill
Until you utilized this form I had no idea why anyone would even bother with it. This is a perfect use of the form and now I see the intent of it perfectly well. I would be much more up in arms where it not for your side splitting pun in your notes: Howdahstardly! Ha! Too funny. Now back to the indignation..... A beautiful piece and a shame that these wonderful creatures are subjected to such an existence. Excellent use of the form. well done, mikey
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Until you utilized this form I had no idea why anyone would even bother with it. This is a perfect use of the form and now I see the intent of it perfectly well. I would be much more up in arms where it not for your side splitting pun in your notes: Howdahstardly! Ha! Too funny. Now back to the indignation..... A beautiful piece and a shame that these wonderful creatures are subjected to such an existence. Excellent use of the form. well done, mikey
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Mikey, for your kind review! There is some great work being done in elephant sanctuaries up in Thailand but until the mass of visiting tourists transfer their allegiance to these the almighty tourist dollar will continue to sustain the elephant trekking business. It is a matter of re-education largely. That is one of the reasons my daughter was up there.
Comment from Eleanor Buron
Your poem touched me because I've always felt deeply sorry for animals made to provide entertainment for tourists - stripped of their freedom, eyes either fearful or vacant. How sad. Your poem is well written. The form, again, lends itself beautifully to the message because the repetition drives the message home; the poem is more powerful, more memorable in this form.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Your poem touched me because I've always felt deeply sorry for animals made to provide entertainment for tourists - stripped of their freedom, eyes either fearful or vacant. How sad. Your poem is well written. The form, again, lends itself beautifully to the message because the repetition drives the message home; the poem is more powerful, more memorable in this form.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Many thanks, Eleanor, for another kind review! There is some great work being done in elephant sanctuaries up in Thailand but until the mass of visiting tourists transfer their allegiance to these the almighty tourist dollar will continue to sustain the elephant trekking business. It is a matter of re-education largely. That is one of the reasons my daughter was up there.
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I'm fully impressed - your daughter is in my prayers, as you are, for I love the magnificent wildlife on our planet and so many more species are endangered.
Comment from amahra
Did your daughter take this picture? I really love it. The poem is very well crafted and the repeated lines work very well. Great job.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Did your daughter take this picture? I really love it. The poem is very well crafted and the repeated lines work very well. Great job.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2013
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Thanks for the review, Amahra! Yes, Anna is a professional photographer working with NGOs around the world, currently in Haiti, having just returned from a few weeks in the Afar region of Ethiopia. She lives in New York between assignments. Her elephant photos were taken at a sanctuary in Thailand last year. Have a look at www.annafawcus.com if you are interested! Some of them are on a blog post there.
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Thank you. I'll check it out.