All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Buried Treasure"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
39 total reviews
Comment from Black_Oxygen
Well Done ~ Sharyn
This poetry gives the reader the sense of adventure,
family, love, and tribute. You Father and Daughter
relationship is envied by many. It captured and held
my interest from start to finish. The attached
illustration is a befitting accent that enhances the
message. Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Well Done ~ Sharyn
This poetry gives the reader the sense of adventure,
family, love, and tribute. You Father and Daughter
relationship is envied by many. It captured and held
my interest from start to finish. The attached
illustration is a befitting accent that enhances the
message. Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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thx so much Ron! :)S
Comment from Cornelius2000
Oh Sharyn, this is beautiful. What a gift you have for putting your feelings into words, and your love for your dad comes through strongly in this poem (although you never says those words). Makes me almost wish I could write free verse!
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Oh Sharyn, this is beautiful. What a gift you have for putting your feelings into words, and your love for your dad comes through strongly in this poem (although you never says those words). Makes me almost wish I could write free verse!
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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oh bless you Dave - thank you so much for your lovely comments. And who says you can't write free verse?
:)Sharyn
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Well, I've never really liked it that much (with exceptions, of course) and so I haven't tried it. But I won't say "never." Dave
Comment from Joan E.
I was surprised by the contents of the box as you first described it and glad it would bring your dad a chuckle. That actual items pay tribute to who he was and bring back memories of the two of you in Australia. Your final stanza is packed with touching imagery. Cheers and best wishes in the free-verse contest- Joan
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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I was surprised by the contents of the box as you first described it and glad it would bring your dad a chuckle. That actual items pay tribute to who he was and bring back memories of the two of you in Australia. Your final stanza is packed with touching imagery. Cheers and best wishes in the free-verse contest- Joan
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Thx so much Joan! :)S
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Your last stanza is the 'piece de resistance' Sharyn! Just a wonderful ending.
So very well written with wonderful imagery created. You have given the reader a glimpse of the type of man your father was, and what he meant to you. Just a great, entertaining read!
Well done! Best of luck in the contest!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Your last stanza is the 'piece de resistance' Sharyn! Just a wonderful ending.
So very well written with wonderful imagery created. You have given the reader a glimpse of the type of man your father was, and what he meant to you. Just a great, entertaining read!
Well done! Best of luck in the contest!
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Thank you so much for your lovely six on this one Connie, and for your special reading of this piece. Warms my heart, with my coffee, this morning!
Many thanks!
Sharyn
Comment from Pili Pubul
Since I lost my father at birth , I enjoy so deeply your warm close relation that you so masterfully describe in this astounding prose-poem.
A treasure of memories you will have forever. Good luck in the contest, is a winner ... Hugs . Pili
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Since I lost my father at birth , I enjoy so deeply your warm close relation that you so masterfully describe in this astounding prose-poem.
A treasure of memories you will have forever. Good luck in the contest, is a winner ... Hugs . Pili
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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He was someone very special Pili, he really was. Thank you SO much for your wonderful six!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Kiki12
I have no sixes for yo now, but no matter, this is worth a thousand stars, you have woven the love of a daughter and the journey with her father in a most touching and heart-wrenching way. My dad is such an important part of my world, and he always calls me his 'treasure' which you can imagine was one of the reasons I was crying half way through this verse. You have shared such telling experiences that make me think of my own parallel experiences with my dad. What a write, this is a treasure of a tribute to your dad...you are amazing-
xo
Kiki
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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I have no sixes for yo now, but no matter, this is worth a thousand stars, you have woven the love of a daughter and the journey with her father in a most touching and heart-wrenching way. My dad is such an important part of my world, and he always calls me his 'treasure' which you can imagine was one of the reasons I was crying half way through this verse. You have shared such telling experiences that make me think of my own parallel experiences with my dad. What a write, this is a treasure of a tribute to your dad...you are amazing-
xo
Kiki
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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hey kiki - thank you so much - our mutual admiration society definitely needs a double six quotient, hmm?
Comment from 9999pool
A wonderful tribute to Billy Collins.
Billy Collins (born William James Collins March 22, 1941) is an American poet, appointed as Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001 to 2003.He is a Distinguished Professor at Lehman College of the City University of New York and is the Senior Distinguished Fellow of the Winter Park Institute, Florida. Collins was recognized as a Literary Lion of the New York Public Library (1992) and selected as the New York State Poet for 2004-2006. He is currently a teacher in the MFA program at Stony Brook Southampton.
Will be good to read his MFA in the place he teaches.
Great man. Hopefully he is a great father too perhaps.
The story is very tender and heartfelt and could have been better if we can put in some emotions in the finale. E.g. she out her calling or she was about to commit suicide and waken up by the box to reality. or something like that. this is a contest dear - nostalgia is good but an impact is needed in a very enterprising story like this one. Just my thoughts.
Another excellent write and good luck to the contest - might just win it this time?
Cheerio, hugs, Ritchie.
P.S. The finale: (smiles)
She threw away the razor shape blade
Glistening and threatening her life.
She remember daddy's last words
"There will be tragedies and sorrows
Go find that rainbow my child
Daddy will always love you
Live life and be happy
The oceans are filled with beautiful corals
You just got to find yours!"
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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A wonderful tribute to Billy Collins.
Billy Collins (born William James Collins March 22, 1941) is an American poet, appointed as Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001 to 2003.He is a Distinguished Professor at Lehman College of the City University of New York and is the Senior Distinguished Fellow of the Winter Park Institute, Florida. Collins was recognized as a Literary Lion of the New York Public Library (1992) and selected as the New York State Poet for 2004-2006. He is currently a teacher in the MFA program at Stony Brook Southampton.
Will be good to read his MFA in the place he teaches.
Great man. Hopefully he is a great father too perhaps.
The story is very tender and heartfelt and could have been better if we can put in some emotions in the finale. E.g. she out her calling or she was about to commit suicide and waken up by the box to reality. or something like that. this is a contest dear - nostalgia is good but an impact is needed in a very enterprising story like this one. Just my thoughts.
Another excellent write and good luck to the contest - might just win it this time?
Cheerio, hugs, Ritchie.
P.S. The finale: (smiles)
She threw away the razor shape blade
Glistening and threatening her life.
She remember daddy's last words
"There will be tragedies and sorrows
Go find that rainbow my child
Daddy will always love you
Live life and be happy
The oceans are filled with beautiful corals
You just got to find yours!"
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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He's a totally cool poet Ritchie, isn't it? oh God no! I just read your bit about adding histrionics! I'll leave that to the Hallmark card writers on site, of whom there is no short supply dear!
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Ha-ha. Just thought some histrionics can bored your readers a bit. Hey, that's what made Hollywood famous. Don't we loved crying over histrionics dear? Cannot forget the tear jerking movies of old.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is defined by the American Psychiatric Association as a personality disorder characterized by a pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriately seductive behavior, usually beginning in early adulthood. People affected by HPD are lively, dramatic, vivacious, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. HPD affects four times as many women as men.
Looks like I got a new look name for myself besides a Riot, LOL. Since I am only a 25% statistic as a male, guess who gets top honors here? :)))).
Have a great day hun, we are all histrionics when it comes to emotional and spiritual feelings. ROTFL.
Cheerio, Ritchie. :)))).
P.S. Never underestimate the power of histrionics in a contest - it does pull in the voters after you have made them shed just one TEAR. Smiles.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend and full of so much imagery it unfolds so smoothly I enjoyed well done and good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Yes this is well written my friend and full of so much imagery it unfolds so smoothly I enjoyed well done and good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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thx so much Jill! :)
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Thank you for letting us into your magical memories. I am still getting used to the concept of prose/poetry, but there is everything poetic about, "No - it's a box of earrings, delicate, carved, mother-of-pearl, all tear-drops, like the shapes of the memories themselves." The last two stanzas are so engaging in their delicacy of emotion. The seventeen-year-old in the mirror has learned to express herself in words that are as many faceted as that mother-of-pearl you bought so long ago. How funny that we were both rummaging around in the old boxes, yours literal, mine just the memory. While tears are always there, so close to the surface, after this long time mine are merely sentimental, not true grief any more. But there is often a wistful sadness - that I cannot share what I write or ask his advice and hear his gentle voice say, " Well, Bunny. . ." Of course, that doesn't account for the conversations we still have in my head. And as for Your Dad's chuckle, I'll bet if you had listened a bit more closely, you would have heard it. - Wendy
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Thank you for letting us into your magical memories. I am still getting used to the concept of prose/poetry, but there is everything poetic about, "No - it's a box of earrings, delicate, carved, mother-of-pearl, all tear-drops, like the shapes of the memories themselves." The last two stanzas are so engaging in their delicacy of emotion. The seventeen-year-old in the mirror has learned to express herself in words that are as many faceted as that mother-of-pearl you bought so long ago. How funny that we were both rummaging around in the old boxes, yours literal, mine just the memory. While tears are always there, so close to the surface, after this long time mine are merely sentimental, not true grief any more. But there is often a wistful sadness - that I cannot share what I write or ask his advice and hear his gentle voice say, " Well, Bunny. . ." Of course, that doesn't account for the conversations we still have in my head. And as for Your Dad's chuckle, I'll bet if you had listened a bit more closely, you would have heard it. - Wendy
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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What a lovely review - thank you so much Wendy. Yes, we do have a lot in common, don't we? :)S
Comment from robina1978
This is a lovely and well written free verse. A worthy entry for the contest. You found a box with the things that your father collected. The jewelry more for his sake than yours. My father did the same with the jewels he gave my mother.
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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This is a lovely and well written free verse. A worthy entry for the contest. You found a box with the things that your father collected. The jewelry more for his sake than yours. My father did the same with the jewels he gave my mother.
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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thx so much Ine! :)))
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very welcome Sharyn as always, Ine