All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "No one Noticed"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
45 total reviews
Comment from Joy Graham
Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. Glad to hear he had his lady friend with him to care for him during his illness. It's good that he had you too. This poem is difficult to read but expresses some deep emotions. I find writing to be great therapy in times such as these.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
  |
Sorry to hear about the passing of your friend. Glad to hear he had his lady friend with him to care for him during his illness. It's good that he had you too. This poem is difficult to read but expresses some deep emotions. I find writing to be great therapy in times such as these.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx so much joy! :)S
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Sharyn, I thought your work was powerful in the most basic sense of death and what is always surrounding us. I especially felt moved as you described the chipped paint, the dust, the fence - all those that lose time in repair and then become all that is left.
A sad work to read and yet so powerfully have you penned this final release of your friend. Thank you for sharing the moment- and even more for the way this is penned. What we get caught up in at times is all the stuff - which is left collecting dust and aging much like the body does.
Maureen
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
Dear Sharyn, I thought your work was powerful in the most basic sense of death and what is always surrounding us. I especially felt moved as you described the chipped paint, the dust, the fence - all those that lose time in repair and then become all that is left.
A sad work to read and yet so powerfully have you penned this final release of your friend. Thank you for sharing the moment- and even more for the way this is penned. What we get caught up in at times is all the stuff - which is left collecting dust and aging much like the body does.
Maureen
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
aah, I see you've got the true message of my observations here, Maureen - bless you - yes, cause to pause, hmm?
Comment from MizKat
This is a nicely written poem about your friend, Sharyn. Did he suffer for ten years and then the docter gave him 12 months to live? At least he's in a better place now. Kat
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
This is a nicely written poem about your friend, Sharyn. Did he suffer for ten years and then the docter gave him 12 months to live? At least he's in a better place now. Kat
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx so much Kat - he had bad emphysema (he'd been a chain smoker and a heavy drinker) - so I could see it catching up with him. He had to use an oxygen tank for the last couple of years - kept talking about "getting better" - but I knew, I think, long before he was officially diagnosed with lung cancer. He went thru chemo which, of course, didn't work. Then when the doc gave him 12 months to live, I guess I fully believed that and went downhill pretty fast. I was glad to see him finally pass - the end of a long journey for him. A simple man, with lousy kids. Lovely lady who looked after him right up until the end, thank goodness. :)S
-
I'm glad you and his care-taker were always there for him. That's what friends are all about. Too bad his own kids were so lousy. Kat
-
I'm sure in his younger days he was pretty wild Kat - these things don't get created out of nothing, right? Who knows ...
:)
Comment from Cornelius2000
What a lovely memorial to a friend, We always want to do "something" at a time like that, and this is something a writer can do. How terrible, for someone to linger such a long time, thinking about the inevitable...and perhaps wondering what death would bring.
You did what you could do, and did it beautifully.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
What a lovely memorial to a friend, We always want to do "something" at a time like that, and this is something a writer can do. How terrible, for someone to linger such a long time, thinking about the inevitable...and perhaps wondering what death would bring.
You did what you could do, and did it beautifully.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx so much Dave - he was such a simple guy - lousy life, lousy kids but always a big smile of optimism.
:)
Comment from adewpearl
excellent alliteration in caught and killed and such a compelling image of the dream catcher
good use of occasional rhyme
what a poignant moment you capture as your friend dies with no one else in the room but the cat
The emotion here is so raw and honest
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
excellent alliteration in caught and killed and such a compelling image of the dream catcher
good use of occasional rhyme
what a poignant moment you capture as your friend dies with no one else in the room but the cat
The emotion here is so raw and honest
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx so much Brooke! Interesting the thoughts that go through our head at such a time, the detailed observations you only think about in retrospect
:)Sharyn
Comment from October21
It really is a sad poem, Sharyn. I felt the raw emotion hit us like a tidal wave in a thundering storm. It was powerful, you made his life seem solitary and worthless, and this in itself was a tragedy. The last words hit hard, with strength, and clear realisation of the terribly haunting situation. I enjoyed it x
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
It really is a sad poem, Sharyn. I felt the raw emotion hit us like a tidal wave in a thundering storm. It was powerful, you made his life seem solitary and worthless, and this in itself was a tragedy. The last words hit hard, with strength, and clear realisation of the terribly haunting situation. I enjoyed it x
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx Shenel - not worthless - just lousy kids. He was a simple, nice man and he was nursed to the end by a loyal lady-friend of over 20 years. I was just surprised how subtle and fleeting the death process can be. :)S
Comment from Tina McKala
this is such a sad poem. the loneliness of this old person was captured in a truly poignant way and the sorrow was present in the words. Sadly, many people die this way - no one notices but their cats. :(
If it is biographical, than I am so sorry for your loss.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
this is such a sad poem. the loneliness of this old person was captured in a truly poignant way and the sorrow was present in the words. Sadly, many people die this way - no one notices but their cats. :(
If it is biographical, than I am so sorry for your loss.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx Tina - He was a simple, nice man and he was nursed to the end by a loyal lady-friend of over 20 years. I was just surprised how subtle and fleeting the death process can be. Lousy, rotten kids though :)S
Comment from God's Writer
A very sad poem. I am so sad you lost your friend and for his family. A grand tribute to what seems to have beee a very nice man. Thank you and my prayers are going in for all that are involved.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
A very sad poem. I am so sad you lost your friend and for his family. A grand tribute to what seems to have beee a very nice man. Thank you and my prayers are going in for all that are involved.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
He was a nice man Eric - always had a smile for me, no matter how hard his life was. :)Sharyn
Comment from Sararb
This was so sad. It made me want to cry. If this was a personal experience I am so sorry that you had to see your friend leave the world this way. No one really noticing his demise except his cat. Sararb :)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
This was so sad. It made me want to cry. If this was a personal experience I am so sorry that you had to see your friend leave the world this way. No one really noticing his demise except his cat. Sararb :)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
His very nice lady-friend looked after him loyally my dear - we were talking in the next room when he passed - so fortunately, he wasn't lonely - though he had lousy kids. But he was loved, and I'm glad of that. He'd had a hard life. :)S
Comment from ravenblack
you know, you are a six-eater. would give you another, but i already hit my limit for your work. what a sad read, so many great details. stanzas 2 and 3 are phenomenal.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
|
you know, you are a six-eater. would give you another, but i already hit my limit for your work. what a sad read, so many great details. stanzas 2 and 3 are phenomenal.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013
-
thx so much my dear! Bless you for your extravant six-wish! :))S