Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Apprenticeship"A collection of my poems
23 total reviews
Comment from tedanytime
Masterful story in the poem! The rhymes flowed well from start right to the end.
The mechanics did what most workers do when a new one starts a job. The jokes and ribbing goes on and on, sometimes to excess. But, as in this case when the chips are down, if harm comes to one, the others will surely aid.
Great story. Best wishes!
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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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Masterful story in the poem! The rhymes flowed well from start right to the end.
The mechanics did what most workers do when a new one starts a job. The jokes and ribbing goes on and on, sometimes to excess. But, as in this case when the chips are down, if harm comes to one, the others will surely aid.
Great story. Best wishes!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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Thanks, Ted - for once I wanted to write something that felt real.
Steve
Comment from djsaxon
Wow, wow, wow! This rocks. Solid rhyme and metre throughout, great character development, and an (almost) unexpected twist. Loved every word. Cheers - DJ
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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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Wow, wow, wow! This rocks. Solid rhyme and metre throughout, great character development, and an (almost) unexpected twist. Loved every word. Cheers - DJ
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Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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Thank you, DJ
Yeah, bad guy saves nice guy - I did think about having it the other way around which could have been good too....
Steve
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nah - this way is better :D
Comment from Eigle Rull
This is one of the best poems I've ever read. It has NO mistakes at all that I could find. It grabbed my interest right off the bat, and held it to the end. It was worded perfectly, and flowed as it should. And, it surprised me with an ending I didn't even see coming. This was soooo good my friend. Thank you for the opportunity to read this poem.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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This is one of the best poems I've ever read. It has NO mistakes at all that I could find. It grabbed my interest right off the bat, and held it to the end. It was worded perfectly, and flowed as it should. And, it surprised me with an ending I didn't even see coming. This was soooo good my friend. Thank you for the opportunity to read this poem.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 28-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
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Thank you and welcome to fanStory.
High praise indeed, but these contests draw out the best so you'll see some more good ones when the results are announced.
Steve