All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "In Velvet Dark"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from OLA THOMAS
OH! This is a lovely work from every parameters. Very smooth and soothing. Nice metaphors especially in ...'let my heartbeat pound to meet you'. Vivid picture and passion. You were on fire writing this one.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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OH! This is a lovely work from every parameters. Very smooth and soothing. Nice metaphors especially in ...'let my heartbeat pound to meet you'. Vivid picture and passion. You were on fire writing this one.
ola thomas
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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bless you, Ola! So glad you enjoyed this one - I loved writing it, and especially appreciate your magic '6' on this one.
:)Sharyn
Comment from Macsween
I like it.
The words flow well and fit together. It all sounds super romantic.
Very seductive and sensual. I really like the 'glide me slide me feel my heart closer' line.
Good work.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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I like it.
The words flow well and fit together. It all sounds super romantic.
Very seductive and sensual. I really like the 'glide me slide me feel my heart closer' line.
Good work.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx so much Mac! :)Sharyn
Comment from Selina Stambi
Such a wonderfully worthy win, my dear. You had me holding my breath all the way to the end.
Love the internal rhyming lines in the free verse.
Ooh la la! I'm breathless!!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Such a wonderfully worthy win, my dear. You had me holding my breath all the way to the end.
Love the internal rhyming lines in the free verse.
Ooh la la! I'm breathless!!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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ooh la la indeed - this was a fun write! thx so much my dear! :)S
Comment from McMurry903
This is beautiful, Sharyn! You are always awesome in these prompts! I love the strong imagery in this piece. Such a sweet and romantic poem. I enjoyed very much. Congrats on the win! :)Brian
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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This is beautiful, Sharyn! You are always awesome in these prompts! I love the strong imagery in this piece. Such a sweet and romantic poem. I enjoyed very much. Congrats on the win! :)Brian
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx Brian! :)S
Comment from LaDonnaCole
take the floor now
please come closer
barely touching
clasp my body
let my heartbeat
pound to meet you
as the music
takes possession
(Somehow you have created the feel of twirling with these words. How do you do that? Amazing!)
glide me, slide me
feel my heat now
closer, closer
pressed against you
musky scented
hypnotize me
warm and wanting
I'm on fire
(SEXY!)
breathe my breath now
urgent stirring
arching towards me
we're connected
soft and moist in
secret places
mold me, hold me
to your body
(Blusing!)
scent of wanting
lunge with pleasure
silken stockings
smooth and dreamy
smoke and mirrors
hot and steamy
scorching, torching
flares desire
take me home now
taut tuxedo
light my loving
in velvet dark
take my shoes off
caress my satin
and piece by piece
seduce
my
heart
(Goodness! *fans face* Sexy poem! Thanks for sharing.)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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take the floor now
please come closer
barely touching
clasp my body
let my heartbeat
pound to meet you
as the music
takes possession
(Somehow you have created the feel of twirling with these words. How do you do that? Amazing!)
glide me, slide me
feel my heat now
closer, closer
pressed against you
musky scented
hypnotize me
warm and wanting
I'm on fire
(SEXY!)
breathe my breath now
urgent stirring
arching towards me
we're connected
soft and moist in
secret places
mold me, hold me
to your body
(Blusing!)
scent of wanting
lunge with pleasure
silken stockings
smooth and dreamy
smoke and mirrors
hot and steamy
scorching, torching
flares desire
take me home now
taut tuxedo
light my loving
in velvet dark
take my shoes off
caress my satin
and piece by piece
seduce
my
heart
(Goodness! *fans face* Sexy poem! Thanks for sharing.)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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sounds like you had nearly as good a time reading it as I did in writing it my dear! :))) Sharyn
Comment from rjuselius
congratulations on your win, you definitely deserved it! i love the ending "seduce my heart" and i love the way you have positioned it with.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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congratulations on your win, you definitely deserved it! i love the ending "seduce my heart" and i love the way you have positioned it with.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx rebekka! :)Sharyn
Comment from Donya Quijote
This was a fun, sensual read. I could feel and imagine the dancing of these two young lovers. I, too, have a favorite song I would love to slow dance to with that special someone. No wonder it was the winner. Very nicely done...
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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This was a fun, sensual read. I could feel and imagine the dancing of these two young lovers. I, too, have a favorite song I would love to slow dance to with that special someone. No wonder it was the winner. Very nicely done...
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thanx so much Donya! Glad you enjoyed it! :)Sharyn
Comment from wordsareus
This poem is fantastic. You a truly a talented writer. You have an amazing writer's voice. Your poem flows incredibly smoothly. Congratulations on the contest prize!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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This poem is fantastic. You a truly a talented writer. You have an amazing writer's voice. Your poem flows incredibly smoothly. Congratulations on the contest prize!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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bless you my dear! I enjoyed writing this one - and your lovely six is especially appreciated.
hugs
Sharyn
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
Wow! Who cares about the technical parts of this? This is one hot and steamy write on passion! The artwork sets the stage well for the words that follow. Pardon me while I go and get a glass of ice water....
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Wow! Who cares about the technical parts of this? This is one hot and steamy write on passion! The artwork sets the stage well for the words that follow. Pardon me while I go and get a glass of ice water....
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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take a cold shower while you're at it dear! So glad you enjoyed! :)Sharyn
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I forgot about cold showers years ago. LOL!
Comment from fairy77
Congrats this is awesome. What a beautiful pic and your descriptive words. I think this is the best poem I read tonight. Congrats on this:) Beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Congrats this is awesome. What a beautiful pic and your descriptive words. I think this is the best poem I read tonight. Congrats on this:) Beth fairy77.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Beth - so glad you enjoyed this one! I had a LOT of fun writing it! :)Sharyn