All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Our Game"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
101 total reviews
Comment from Tina McKala
checkmate :)
powerful poem. so angry that it was snapping its words at me ;) the end was great, I loved how you put it all onto a chessboard
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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checkmate :)
powerful poem. so angry that it was snapping its words at me ;) the end was great, I loved how you put it all onto a chessboard
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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the chessboard sort of happened by accident, Tina - but I ended up really liking it! :)Sharyn
Comment from Linda Lee
I love on today of all days, when a writer takes a leap into something dark when everyone else is promoting hearts and bliss. This may be dark, but there is an urgency and intimacy about the way this is written that is so engaging. I'm no sociopath either, but this is an excellent ride down that dark road.
Very well done!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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I love on today of all days, when a writer takes a leap into something dark when everyone else is promoting hearts and bliss. This may be dark, but there is an urgency and intimacy about the way this is written that is so engaging. I'm no sociopath either, but this is an excellent ride down that dark road.
Very well done!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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thank you so much, Linda, for accompanying me for that short ride down the dark road ... I like to experiment! :)Sharyn
Comment from kiwisteveh
I am pleased hubby is still intact!
You have certainly bundled up a viper's nest of negative, repressed emotions.
Your usual clev er word juggling - I must try and copy your methods one day - lack/black, dangling strangling, game/shame .....
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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I am pleased hubby is still intact!
You have certainly bundled up a viper's nest of negative, repressed emotions.
Your usual clev er word juggling - I must try and copy your methods one day - lack/black, dangling strangling, game/shame .....
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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who says repressed, dear? I didn't win this one - rainbows & roses win out! :)
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I thought these lines at least implied that they were repressed (until now)
attacking, tarred
lip-smacking, scarred
wormy
ball
of them
compressed and writhing
in my
gut
ready to cut their way out
to freedom
Rainbows and roses will win any day on FS - shall I moan about sweet little kiddies beating the crap out of apocalyptic visions in the eleven 77 contest???
Steve
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oooh ok ...just a teensy weensy bit then ... now I'm curious, I'll hav to go look at the 1177 contest! :)
Comment from Enrique28
Yeah, I guess you're right, but only the devious play games...the rest of us either stay and wallow in it, or go because it ain't for us. Know what I mean?
Clever stuff poetically expressed with an allusion to "playing with fire may be a dangerous thing"
Excellent presentation!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Yeah, I guess you're right, but only the devious play games...the rest of us either stay and wallow in it, or go because it ain't for us. Know what I mean?
Clever stuff poetically expressed with an allusion to "playing with fire may be a dangerous thing"
Excellent presentation!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Thx so much Enrique! :)Sharyn
Comment from DALLAS01
Great approach to this prompt. You have turned it inside out, stripping it down to the marrow. I love the structure and the varied rhyming. But what struck me the most was the starkness supported by the black and white pic, background, and font. Most of us, who have either stuffed our feelings consciously, or unconsciously, were black and white thinkers. And I speak from past experience. There is a lot going on in this write.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Great approach to this prompt. You have turned it inside out, stripping it down to the marrow. I love the structure and the varied rhyming. But what struck me the most was the starkness supported by the black and white pic, background, and font. Most of us, who have either stuffed our feelings consciously, or unconsciously, were black and white thinkers. And I speak from past experience. There is a lot going on in this write.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Bless you for your magic 6 Dallas! There is, indeed, a lot going on in this write, and I'm delighted that you found it. I so appreciate your review!
Best wishes
Sharyn
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You're welcome.
Comment from mshugh
Wow - superb choice of words, magnificent dialect - emotive in the highest sense and you spin quite a web
I am NOT a poet - so I cannot offer technical assistance, but I do like good poetry and this certainly stirred my imagination
well done
Micaeh
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Wow - superb choice of words, magnificent dialect - emotive in the highest sense and you spin quite a web
I am NOT a poet - so I cannot offer technical assistance, but I do like good poetry and this certainly stirred my imagination
well done
Micaeh
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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I'm so glad you liked it Micaeh! :)Sharyn
Comment from chromeangel33
What a great contest entry! You have a poem packed full of feelings. You have shown great creativity and the poem flows very nicely. Good luck to you! You have a winner!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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What a great contest entry! You have a poem packed full of feelings. You have shown great creativity and the poem flows very nicely. Good luck to you! You have a winner!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Thx so much chromeangel! :) Sharyn
Comment from fairy77
This was excellent Sharyn and loved your authors notes. Hard to believe you have a bad side. I really liked it:)Loved best think ahead my king.HA HA! Truly Splendid. Start my diet tomorrow:)beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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This was excellent Sharyn and loved your authors notes. Hard to believe you have a bad side. I really liked it:)Loved best think ahead my king.HA HA! Truly Splendid. Start my diet tomorrow:)beth fairy77.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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oh good for you - thanks so much Beth! I like to flaunt my bad side sometimes, too - good grist for the writing mill, hmm? What kind of diet are you starting? You already lost a ton, right? are you keeping it off okay? I'm going on the straight & narrow too! :))))Sharyn
Comment from Deniz22
Wow! Note to your endangered hubby: check your mate! Dangerous, calculating, cols, severe, tea and crumpets anyone?
You have many sides, eh?
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Wow! Note to your endangered hubby: check your mate! Dangerous, calculating, cols, severe, tea and crumpets anyone?
You have many sides, eh?
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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I do, Denis, I do indeed my dear! good to stretch "dark" writing muscles sometimes I think, yes? :)Sharyn
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not too often I trust :)
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naaah - happy to stick to naughty & funny and driving you nuts most of the time dear! :)))))
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A short drive indeed, be back in time for lunch. :)
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that's what I enjoy about you!
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:)
Comment from isurp
What a deliciously dark read after after the syrupy sweet swill of Valentines Day poems! I love the way this almost snakes off your tongue as you read it out loud, which I did for my wife. (I'm a hopeless romantic. ;p) Thanks for sharing this and good luck in the contest if you haven't already won. -Steve
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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What a deliciously dark read after after the syrupy sweet swill of Valentines Day poems! I love the way this almost snakes off your tongue as you read it out loud, which I did for my wife. (I'm a hopeless romantic. ;p) Thanks for sharing this and good luck in the contest if you haven't already won. -Steve
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Steve, bless you for your lovely six! I write, always, hearing a piece performed in my head and I was happy with the way this turned out, especially for that reason! bless you! I didn't win this one unfortunately, but oh well ... win some, lose some, yes? Again, that was a sweet six and so much appreciated!
Best wishes
Sharyn