All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Just for Me"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
97 total reviews
Comment from lappmellott
I loved reading your poem. It's so colorful and descriptive. The picture goes along wonderfully with the poem. Great job.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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I loved reading your poem. It's so colorful and descriptive. The picture goes along wonderfully with the poem. Great job.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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thx so much lm! :)Sharyn
Comment from snemes
I love how so many of your poems cannot be contained. They are not tidy writes that can be bound by rules, but they are alive in this moment and enjoying life to the fullest. This poem expresses the joyful desire to bring happiness to the one who has made you happy. You want only the best for that person.
The entire poem is a delectable Valentine treat oozing chocolatey goodness. I enjoyed reading it, and I thank you for sharing it. Almost forgot--loved the wanton wait!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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I love how so many of your poems cannot be contained. They are not tidy writes that can be bound by rules, but they are alive in this moment and enjoying life to the fullest. This poem expresses the joyful desire to bring happiness to the one who has made you happy. You want only the best for that person.
The entire poem is a delectable Valentine treat oozing chocolatey goodness. I enjoyed reading it, and I thank you for sharing it. Almost forgot--loved the wanton wait!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much my dear! Poetry is fun not contained, yes? I so appreciate your enjoyment!
:)Sharyn
Comment from hopeflys
I really like reading your poem. The words flowed beautiful together and I really enjoyed reading your work. Well done Hopeflys 0:D love the picture
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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I really like reading your poem. The words flowed beautiful together and I really enjoyed reading your work. Well done Hopeflys 0:D love the picture
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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I loved that picture too - have had it sitting on my desktop waiting for the right piece to come along! Bless you for enjoying and double/triple thank yous for the lovely SIX!
:)SHARYN
Comment from Selina Stambi
Mmmm... what a lucious chocolatey feel this gorgeous poem exudes!
I got Tarzania ... and you had me smiling as I pictured you pounding on your chest and swinging ....
A fabulous write - as always - a most worthy candidate to win!
Good luck, Sharyn, my dear! I've run out of stars - so here's a virtual six for you from me.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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Mmmm... what a lucious chocolatey feel this gorgeous poem exudes!
I got Tarzania ... and you had me smiling as I pictured you pounding on your chest and swinging ....
A fabulous write - as always - a most worthy candidate to win!
Good luck, Sharyn, my dear! I've run out of stars - so here's a virtual six for you from me.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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Virtual sixes are lovely too my dear! thank you so much for taking the quick trip to Tarzania with me! :)S
Comment from Gianinas
I loved the repetition of "just for you, my sweet",
so..
"mix and weave all four together
baking
creaming
browning
dreaming
......the alchemy of perfect chocolate-covered love ..."
I started thinking about it, sounds like good advice:). Thank you for the lovely poem too..
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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I loved the repetition of "just for you, my sweet",
so..
"mix and weave all four together
baking
creaming
browning
dreaming
......the alchemy of perfect chocolate-covered love ..."
I started thinking about it, sounds like good advice:). Thank you for the lovely poem too..
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much my dear - glad you enjoyed! :) Sharyn
Comment from Nebukadneser
Wow! Wow! Wow! And another wow! This is a poem the other side of brilliant. Where do you delve all your beautiful treasures from to entice us with more and more of your delicious poetry.
I absolute loved it, more so when I read it aloud as you suggested.
You rock, me girl
Well done
You're a super star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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Wow! Wow! Wow! And another wow! This is a poem the other side of brilliant. Where do you delve all your beautiful treasures from to entice us with more and more of your delicious poetry.
I absolute loved it, more so when I read it aloud as you suggested.
You rock, me girl
Well done
You're a super star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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How about CHOCOLATE bananas dear? Thx! so glad you joined me for some fun!
:)Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, visionary you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about travelling the world to make your love happy, i enjoyed reading it, i think i found your bed and breakfast on the internet. if it's yours it's beautiful. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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this is very well written, visionary you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about travelling the world to make your love happy, i enjoyed reading it, i think i found your bed and breakfast on the internet. if it's yours it's beautiful. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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thx so much sweets!
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
fabulous, Sharyn, absolutely fabulous..
and the more so reading ALOUD!
the energy (from all the chocolate!)
runs breathtakingly along, bouncing
here, there and everywhere! bravo!
and thank you for sharing.
warmly, x, eph.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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fabulous, Sharyn, absolutely fabulous..
and the more so reading ALOUD!
the energy (from all the chocolate!)
runs breathtakingly along, bouncing
here, there and everywhere! bravo!
and thank you for sharing.
warmly, x, eph.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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thx eph! :)S
Comment from Tina McKala
set a-flame
at sunset
to lick the sky
into pink and glowing submission
till it begs for laughing mercy
this part above was my favorite!!
I really loved this poem, it was so full of deep emotions, what would one do for the special beloved one..? everything, over and over again and with pleasure!
great flow of the images and your words. really enjoyable write!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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set a-flame
at sunset
to lick the sky
into pink and glowing submission
till it begs for laughing mercy
this part above was my favorite!!
I really loved this poem, it was so full of deep emotions, what would one do for the special beloved one..? everything, over and over again and with pleasure!
great flow of the images and your words. really enjoyable write!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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thx so much Tina! :)Sharyn
Comment from rama devi
I admit I did try to read this yesterday but the blazing red background with white font hurt my eyes, so I did not get through it or review! Now I've copied it here so I can read in black and white.
Indeed, it sounds tremendously musical read aloud. Love the opening alliteration on J and T
From the jitter-bug jungles of torrid Tarzania
Nice consonance of T here too:
from the tallest stands of grandest trees,
nice assonance of U and consonance of S:
to secure
the purest
wildest
most exquisite
beans for chocolate ...
just for you, my sweet
Nice continuation of alliteration of F in these lines:
Then I'll fly by private plane to the far-flung fringes of
scarlet feathered flowers
set a-flame
Whew--passionate...
to lick the sky
into pink and glowing submission
till it begs for laughing mercy
Nice alliteration on G-
as they crunch on the greenest
of gentle English grasses
in the castle grounds
during the Changing of the Guard ...
Good rhythm here-
of her classic red-black-red dew-dropped roses -
A nice internal rhyme:
with the most flagrant deep vermilion
one-in-a-million fragrances
you've ever breathed ...
just for you, my sweet - Nice continued refrain.
Sensual ...
as
you
lie
in
delicious
wanton wait
swathed
in
red swirls
of Valentine velvet ...
just
for
me
Superb dramatic closing with the shift from the refrain--to 'just for me'
Good flowing and 'delicious' free verse entry! Best of luck in the contest
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
|
I admit I did try to read this yesterday but the blazing red background with white font hurt my eyes, so I did not get through it or review! Now I've copied it here so I can read in black and white.
Indeed, it sounds tremendously musical read aloud. Love the opening alliteration on J and T
From the jitter-bug jungles of torrid Tarzania
Nice consonance of T here too:
from the tallest stands of grandest trees,
nice assonance of U and consonance of S:
to secure
the purest
wildest
most exquisite
beans for chocolate ...
just for you, my sweet
Nice continuation of alliteration of F in these lines:
Then I'll fly by private plane to the far-flung fringes of
scarlet feathered flowers
set a-flame
Whew--passionate...
to lick the sky
into pink and glowing submission
till it begs for laughing mercy
Nice alliteration on G-
as they crunch on the greenest
of gentle English grasses
in the castle grounds
during the Changing of the Guard ...
Good rhythm here-
of her classic red-black-red dew-dropped roses -
A nice internal rhyme:
with the most flagrant deep vermilion
one-in-a-million fragrances
you've ever breathed ...
just for you, my sweet - Nice continued refrain.
Sensual ...
as
you
lie
in
delicious
wanton wait
swathed
in
red swirls
of Valentine velvet ...
just
for
me
Superb dramatic closing with the shift from the refrain--to 'just for me'
Good flowing and 'delicious' free verse entry! Best of luck in the contest
Love,
rd
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2013
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oh what a sissy - sunglasses will do it for you! Would black type be easier to read??? Glad you enjoyed it dear!
:)Sharyn
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hee hee!~ :)