Trojan Verse
On courting my muse31 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
So,
write whatever you like
I'm not responsible for what you will find...
Amada what's to stop people from doing this anyway? There's no need to invade your personal space.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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So,
write whatever you like
I'm not responsible for what you will find...
Amada what's to stop people from doing this anyway? There's no need to invade your personal space.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Dear dear, thank you so much for your very witty comments.
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LOL smile girl.
Comment from missy98writer
amada,
Your poem is splendid written with vivid imagery painted by your pen.
You used a plethora of great alliteration: "dark and drink, caged closure, but beware & write whatever.
You used excellent metaphors: "hide in the vast of my dark, wine of misery, use my enclosure, your pen bleeds, I will bind you, deep inner calling, forgetting the light, interpret the dark & for what you will find."
You also used very fine narrative,
I enjoyed your last stanza:
write whatever you like
I'm not responsible for what you will find...
I'd recommend your poetic gem to other reviewers.
If your poem is a challenge, then good luck , my friend.
Please have a nice day
Melissa.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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amada,
Your poem is splendid written with vivid imagery painted by your pen.
You used a plethora of great alliteration: "dark and drink, caged closure, but beware & write whatever.
You used excellent metaphors: "hide in the vast of my dark, wine of misery, use my enclosure, your pen bleeds, I will bind you, deep inner calling, forgetting the light, interpret the dark & for what you will find."
You also used very fine narrative,
I enjoyed your last stanza:
write whatever you like
I'm not responsible for what you will find...
I'd recommend your poetic gem to other reviewers.
If your poem is a challenge, then good luck , my friend.
Please have a nice day
Melissa.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Thank you Melissa for the great interpretation of my free verse. For sure, a delight to read each one of your vivid reviews. Best wishes for you.
Comment from Ekim777
"Oh dark; dark; dark; we all go into the dark,,," So wrote Eliot. "Descend lower, descend only, Into the world of perpetual solitude; World not world but that which is not world." This might illustrate the whole Gothic era that we have inherited. And I still don't know what a Trojan verse means but if it stirs your muse, so be it. It seems there are ghosts and grotesque shadows deep down there. Your reference to the psalm must surely illustrate the light too.
"Yea though I walk into the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me..."
Your soul is a glimmering light in the ocean of your unconscious. So that at the end of the tunnel there is light. Take care. -EKim777
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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"Oh dark; dark; dark; we all go into the dark,,," So wrote Eliot. "Descend lower, descend only, Into the world of perpetual solitude; World not world but that which is not world." This might illustrate the whole Gothic era that we have inherited. And I still don't know what a Trojan verse means but if it stirs your muse, so be it. It seems there are ghosts and grotesque shadows deep down there. Your reference to the psalm must surely illustrate the light too.
"Yea though I walk into the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me..."
Your soul is a glimmering light in the ocean of your unconscious. So that at the end of the tunnel there is light. Take care. -EKim777
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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I'm honored by this high review, especially coming from a poet I much respect. I don't know what a Trojan verse will bring, but...ready to take the plunge. Thank you, and God Bless.
Comment from Julie G
Centering a distraction, without centering, much more powerful. Probably one of the best poems about the muse I have ever read.
A Trojan verse challenges me widely
get into me,
hide in the vast of my dark
and drink of the wine of my shrine
Write whatever you like-
use my enclosure for your caged closure
Write it all
even after your pen bleeds
but beware:
I will bind you with the fierce branding iron
like the deep inner calling of a psalm
forgetting the light,
you will have to interpret the dark.
So,
write whatever you like
I'm not responsible for what you will find ...
You are a unique poet. Your word choices challenge, but never detract. Your metaphor for brain-lock, the Trojan horse, how it might feel to be locked inside was so interesting.
Deepest admiration.
Julie G
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Centering a distraction, without centering, much more powerful. Probably one of the best poems about the muse I have ever read.
A Trojan verse challenges me widely
get into me,
hide in the vast of my dark
and drink of the wine of my shrine
Write whatever you like-
use my enclosure for your caged closure
Write it all
even after your pen bleeds
but beware:
I will bind you with the fierce branding iron
like the deep inner calling of a psalm
forgetting the light,
you will have to interpret the dark.
So,
write whatever you like
I'm not responsible for what you will find ...
You are a unique poet. Your word choices challenge, but never detract. Your metaphor for brain-lock, the Trojan horse, how it might feel to be locked inside was so interesting.
Deepest admiration.
Julie G
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much Julie. I appreciate your comments more than you know. Centered is off. It's never about the sixer, but always about who's giving it out. I am honored.
Comment from ndadarose
This is a very interesting poem. Your capture the intent of the Trojan with the words "closure" "enclosure", and but "beware". Trojan is a multi-meaning word and your right the mind will find its own meaning.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2012
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This is a very interesting poem. Your capture the intent of the Trojan with the words "closure" "enclosure", and but "beware". Trojan is a multi-meaning word and your right the mind will find its own meaning.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2012
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I truly appreciate reading reading my work and commenting in the words that spoke to you. Thank you.
Comment from Fluffyhead
I'm not responsible for what you will find... Great line along with the line about branding with words. you are good with visual writing thanks so much
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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I'm not responsible for what you will find... Great line along with the line about branding with words. you are good with visual writing thanks so much
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Thank you for reading my free verse to my obstinate muse.
Comment from Frank Atwood
I liked this. You are so correct, when one writes from within, they at the same time discover little truths about themselves they've always had hidden, yet ignored. Not only that, but also others who are blessed with intuition of a spiritual sort also see the same traits and truths of that author no matter how known or unknow they are. Thus one must open up within, to be a truly good writer, and accept their own faults and truths, with grace, of who they really are. Very well done.
God bless.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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I liked this. You are so correct, when one writes from within, they at the same time discover little truths about themselves they've always had hidden, yet ignored. Not only that, but also others who are blessed with intuition of a spiritual sort also see the same traits and truths of that author no matter how known or unknow they are. Thus one must open up within, to be a truly good writer, and accept their own faults and truths, with grace, of who they really are. Very well done.
God bless.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Thank you for your high remarks to my work here. For sure an inspiration from my muse, sometimes she gives me a little advise, or two. A delight to know it reached you!
Comment from Dawn Munro
My, this creates a rather ominous mood, but the metaphor is wonderful; you've followed it with some excellent examples of what it means too. And I especially loved the challenges you issue to your muse - e.g. "Write it all, even after your pen bleeds"
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2012
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My, this creates a rather ominous mood, but the metaphor is wonderful; you've followed it with some excellent examples of what it means too. And I especially loved the challenges you issue to your muse - e.g. "Write it all, even after your pen bleeds"
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2012
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Thank you for reading my work!
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Amada,
I find the poem difficult to comprehend. I think the last two lines pretty much sum it up. There is the encouragement to write whatever on likes...the author is not responsible.
Godspeed,
Curtis
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Amada,
I find the poem difficult to comprehend. I think the last two lines pretty much sum it up. There is the encouragement to write whatever on likes...the author is not responsible.
Godspeed,
Curtis
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Thank you Curtis for reading and commenting in my work.
Comment from Joan E.
I liked your analogy to the Trojan horse with its secret compartment. Your "wine" and "branding iron" metaphors along with the "bleed" hyperbole are very effective. Your imperative about interpreting "the dark" is thought provoking. -Joan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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I liked your analogy to the Trojan horse with its secret compartment. Your "wine" and "branding iron" metaphors along with the "bleed" hyperbole are very effective. Your imperative about interpreting "the dark" is thought provoking. -Joan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2012
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Thank you, dear Joan.