Curtain Call
So happy to be stuck on you.82 total reviews
Comment from Charade
Interesting opening, different.
Think you have a period here that shouldn't be, "hours at a time.especially during the winter and holidays." in the 5th paragraph.
Fresh road kill-LOL awesome.
I'm curious if it's common for a man to be so dependent upon stars and tarot cards?
-ha I got it. kind of overly graphic.
"What say we get an early start on next time, right now," I think you're missing a word out of this sentence.
So was the place you described his own house? Was she a waitress that moonlighted as a psychic?
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Interesting opening, different.
Think you have a period here that shouldn't be, "hours at a time.especially during the winter and holidays." in the 5th paragraph.
Fresh road kill-LOL awesome.
I'm curious if it's common for a man to be so dependent upon stars and tarot cards?
-ha I got it. kind of overly graphic.
"What say we get an early start on next time, right now," I think you're missing a word out of this sentence.
So was the place you described his own house? Was she a waitress that moonlighted as a psychic?
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Thanks so much, Charade. Yes, I purposely used that opening line as a "hook" to capture the reader's attention right off the bat. Always a good idea to start a book and or a chapter or short story. (Even a poem) LOL..I appreciate all of your help and the review. Bob
Comment from Readywriter52
I like the way Arnie and Maureen did to rejuvenate their marriage. Jobs and children are important, but maintaining a good relationship also helps an marriage. Perhaps in the future they should vary their routine.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
I like the way Arnie and Maureen did to rejuvenate their marriage. Jobs and children are important, but maintaining a good relationship also helps an marriage. Perhaps in the future they should vary their routine.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Thanks so much, Joy. Bob
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey there Sir Bob
This is an amazing story. I love Arnie and Maureen. I got to the part where they made love, and got a little ticked, until I remembered they were married. Great job my friend
Bear
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Hey there Sir Bob
This is an amazing story. I love Arnie and Maureen. I got to the part where they made love, and got a little ticked, until I remembered they were married. Great job my friend
Bear
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Thanks, Bear. I am glad you caught on. Wouldn't want you ticked off. LOL...Bob
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Bob,
That was a fun read, and I liked the little twist in the end there, where the 'fortune teller'lady is his own wife.
You're right, we must never let the day to day conerns get in the way of time for ourselves and our partners.
Patrick
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Hi Bob,
That was a fun read, and I liked the little twist in the end there, where the 'fortune teller'lady is his own wife.
You're right, we must never let the day to day conerns get in the way of time for ourselves and our partners.
Patrick
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Thanks, Patrick. Nothing wrong with a little "role-playing" from time to time in order to spice things up. LOL...Bob
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
Excellent romance tale. The constant movement forward and skilled descriptions of the author hold the reader's attention. The climax (no pun intended) is surprising and emotionally a fast switch which also adds to the success of this work. I would add a comma after "Eric" in this line to avoid confusion "...baseball games with son, Eric(,) and daughter...". The artwork sets the mood of the impending story. A great job all around.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Excellent romance tale. The constant movement forward and skilled descriptions of the author hold the reader's attention. The climax (no pun intended) is surprising and emotionally a fast switch which also adds to the success of this work. I would add a comma after "Eric" in this line to avoid confusion "...baseball games with son, Eric(,) and daughter...". The artwork sets the mood of the impending story. A great job all around.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Welcome aboard Fanstory, Writer. Perhaps as we get to know one another on here, you can give me your first name. I am Bob, btw. I know you will like it here. Thanks so much for your encouraging remarks and the heads up on the comma. I will be watching for your work also. Good Luck. Bob (Mastery)
-
You are welcome. And, it's Linda, btw. I really enjoyed your work. Thank you for the welcome. MN :)
-
Hi, Linda. Welcome aboard! :) Bob
-
You are welcome. :)
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Bob, this is a fabulous submission for this contest.
As always your writing is skillfully penned my friend.
I enjoyed reading this one.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Hi Bob, this is a fabulous submission for this contest.
As always your writing is skillfully penned my friend.
I enjoyed reading this one.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Hi, Maureen. I used your name in my story...sorry about that. I just like the name...Sounds very Irish. LOL. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review this. Bob
-
LOL - It gave me a wee bit of an extra giggle:)
Hugs
Maureen
-
:) Bob
-
:) Bob
Comment from nomi338
Very clever story, very hot story. This story clearly illustrates what a couple who have been together for a considerable amount of time can do to spice things up between themselves. If they are willing, they can do any number of low cost, but exciting scenarios to make their lovemaking seem new and exciting. Very good story.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Very clever story, very hot story. This story clearly illustrates what a couple who have been together for a considerable amount of time can do to spice things up between themselves. If they are willing, they can do any number of low cost, but exciting scenarios to make their lovemaking seem new and exciting. Very good story.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Hello, Nomi. Thanks for your time and coments. I do appreciate them. Bob
Comment from saychirah
I so love this chapter. You have a nice plot in there that makes your reader feel like one of the characters. Looking forward to more. Kudos!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
I so love this chapter. You have a nice plot in there that makes your reader feel like one of the characters. Looking forward to more. Kudos!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Thanks so much, saychirah. Bob
Comment from DALLAS01
Wow, Bob. You are quite versatile. Little different from your book. Got me in the end, I thought he was dreaming. But I like your ending. Pretty steamy ****
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Wow, Bob. You are quite versatile. Little different from your book. Got me in the end, I thought he was dreaming. But I like your ending. Pretty steamy ****
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Hi, Alicia. How have you been? I am so glad you read this so you can see I do write other things...LOL. Itruly appreciate the six stars too. Wow! Very nice of you. Bob
-
You're welcome. I enjoyed it.
Comment from visionary1234
Well, now I'm all hot & bothered and and off to the cold shower! whew! wondered where we were going with the naughty fortune teller ! Fun write, and good luck in the contest! :) Sharyn
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
Well, now I'm all hot & bothered and and off to the cold shower! whew! wondered where we were going with the naughty fortune teller ! Fun write, and good luck in the contest! :) Sharyn
Comment Written 15-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012
-
Hi, Sharyn. Sorry about that....but then again....I'm not really. LOL..Glad my writing wqs that effective. Thanks so much. Bob