To a son of God
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "I am Providence ...!"Metre ... Freeverse & Quatrain
92 total reviews
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Bicpen ...
This is very well written and attractively presented but, I am sorry to say that I don't really understand what it is that you are saying.
"It was I whom providence bought" ... and then ...
"I am providence ...."
With love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
  |
Hullo Bicpen ...
This is very well written and attractively presented but, I am sorry to say that I don't really understand what it is that you are saying.
"It was I whom providence bought" ... and then ...
"I am providence ...."
With love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
-
Suggest reading reviews of donaldww, christianspirit and then avril borthiry, would be interested in what you think afterwards...perhaps a different perception than first though...mmmm...interesting!
Comment from Kingsland
You can really read a lot into this poem.this poem just expands the mind in many varied ventures. I liked the way you wrote this poem and it just open the mind to thinking thoughts. This was an excellent piece of poetic art to have read... John
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
|
You can really read a lot into this poem.this poem just expands the mind in many varied ventures. I liked the way you wrote this poem and it just open the mind to thinking thoughts. This was an excellent piece of poetic art to have read... John
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
-
Thank you.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Very effective use of repetition in this poem. Your '...' give the reader a chance to pause and reflect on the line. Very well done!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
|
Very effective use of repetition in this poem. Your '...' give the reader a chance to pause and reflect on the line. Very well done!!! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
-
Excellent, many thanks.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, bicpen, you did a great job writing this free verse poem about providence, great imagery presented here, wonderful pictureas well
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
|
this is very well written, bicpen, you did a great job writing this free verse poem about providence, great imagery presented here, wonderful pictureas well
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
-
Many thanks...
Comment from Glasstruth
Love the picture of the white horse. Seems to suggest purity. One strange stanza, but very effective is:
"I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love." Killing with words is a unique way of saying it. Great job! Les
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
|
Love the picture of the white horse. Seems to suggest purity. One strange stanza, but very effective is:
"I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love." Killing with words is a unique way of saying it. Great job! Les
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2012
-
Interesting reads would be reviews of the following...donaldww and follow, christianspirit and avril borthirty.
Comment from pickthorn
An interesting and a bit mysterious. I don't understan the the line, "I will kill your Sons and Daughters first with my words then with my love." I'm sure there is a messagethere that escapes me, but I enjoyed this poem.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
|
An interesting and a bit mysterious. I don't understan the the line, "I will kill your Sons and Daughters first with my words then with my love." I'm sure there is a messagethere that escapes me, but I enjoyed this poem.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
-
Well intresting review reading on the poem woul be first donaldww and follow then christianspirit and lastly Avril Borthiry...all they answers are there happy reading...!
Comment from S.Yocom
Since "providence" means "the protective care of God or nature," I think that a better word might be "fate," since the poem speaks of killing one's sons and daughters. But I enjoyed reading your provocative poem, Bicpen. Perhaps a few words of explanation would be useful. Keep writing your thought-provoking poetry.
Sally
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
|
Since "providence" means "the protective care of God or nature," I think that a better word might be "fate," since the poem speaks of killing one's sons and daughters. But I enjoyed reading your provocative poem, Bicpen. Perhaps a few words of explanation would be useful. Keep writing your thought-provoking poetry.
Sally
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
-
Try christianspirit for my understanding...anything else get back to me...much appreciated.
Comment from fictionwriter
I don't know about the providence, but I do love the white horse, but then I'm biased with my white steed. Loved this poem, although I can give you a rash. Great job.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
|
I don't know about the providence, but I do love the white horse, but then I'm biased with my white steed. Loved this poem, although I can give you a rash. Great job.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
-
Much obliged...
Comment from MikoAmaya
Niiiiice. I really like the repetition. Is this a certain type of poetry form, or perhaps it's free or blank verse? Either way, great job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
|
Niiiiice. I really like the repetition. Is this a certain type of poetry form, or perhaps it's free or blank verse? Either way, great job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
-
It is free verse and when you realise what its about, its a gem...The free verse and the poem.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Hey, Bic! Yeah, I'd lose the exclamation marks. They, imo, detract from the seriousness of the piece. Personally, I prefer 'It was I' to 'I it was' as well, but that's no biggie really.
Also, you've put a capital 'P' on Providence in the title, but not in the poem. What do you think of capitalizing the word in the poem? Might add a bit more 'umph' to the word, which is the 'feature' word of this write.
I will kill... Are you talking about what is to come, then? Or are you referring to the effects of religion in the world? Just wondered if 'I killed your sons and daughters...' (past tense) doesn't have a bit more punch.
There - some of my thoughts for you. Take or leave, my friend.
I do like the poem very much. It's abstract free verse and I really love that style of poetry.
I sense the emotion and feeling flowing through your words. Really well done.
Av
:o)
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
|
Hey, Bic! Yeah, I'd lose the exclamation marks. They, imo, detract from the seriousness of the piece. Personally, I prefer 'It was I' to 'I it was' as well, but that's no biggie really.
Also, you've put a capital 'P' on Providence in the title, but not in the poem. What do you think of capitalizing the word in the poem? Might add a bit more 'umph' to the word, which is the 'feature' word of this write.
I will kill... Are you talking about what is to come, then? Or are you referring to the effects of religion in the world? Just wondered if 'I killed your sons and daughters...' (past tense) doesn't have a bit more punch.
There - some of my thoughts for you. Take or leave, my friend.
I do like the poem very much. It's abstract free verse and I really love that style of poetry.
I sense the emotion and feeling flowing through your words. Really well done.
Av
:o)
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
-
I like the exclamation idea...not so keen on the P idea...well the trouble with killed is that it detracts fromthe first person dialouge...he actually has'nt done it yet...but then he did do it...did'nt he...!
...and I like it as I have it..I it was...it's almost as if on one sense he's remembering what he done even though he has'nt done it yet if you see what I mean...
...much obliged,
Your old pal,
Bic.