The English Assignment
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "To the throne"The author tells a tale how he tried to better him
30 total reviews
Comment from dportwood
keimosobie,
Your story-telling style holds the readers interest and the detail contained in it show the emotional quality of your work. Well done.
Duane
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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keimosobie,
Your story-telling style holds the readers interest and the detail contained in it show the emotional quality of your work. Well done.
Duane
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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thank you
Comment from TammyGail
This was a great chapter keimosobie
it was very well written and expressed
interesting storyline and dialogue
you indeed had my full att throughout
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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This was a great chapter keimosobie
it was very well written and expressed
interesting storyline and dialogue
you indeed had my full att throughout
thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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your welcome I am to please.
Comment from tinams
Your story held my attention from start to finish. Your vivid descriptions made me feel as though I was there, watching events unfold. I liked the way I was left to make some of my own conclusions though. :) Tina
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Your story held my attention from start to finish. Your vivid descriptions made me feel as though I was there, watching events unfold. I liked the way I was left to make some of my own conclusions though. :) Tina
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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thanks TIna
Comment from turtledove
Keimosobie, I don't feel I can completely give this chapter justice because I am only jumping in here. I wish to read the biography in its entirety. Wow...where should I start? Three main points I suppose, one is I write/wrote about incidents such as yours...one in particular was Dan and he had a heart attack and ended up eating at a table with passed family and friends but he knew he had a lot of work to do, so he came back here. Home he described the place. His case was a miracle. Now, I had a similar experience, one that I have never talked about. but my boyfriend now wants to tell my story. I understand. I am proud that you have come back to tell your story, wish there was more people like you, others and myself. I am truly blessed/have peace to further my journey. Perhaps when I am finished with my dead line with Robert Reed publishing, we can discuss this further. Wish you the best, turtledove. God Bless!!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Keimosobie, I don't feel I can completely give this chapter justice because I am only jumping in here. I wish to read the biography in its entirety. Wow...where should I start? Three main points I suppose, one is I write/wrote about incidents such as yours...one in particular was Dan and he had a heart attack and ended up eating at a table with passed family and friends but he knew he had a lot of work to do, so he came back here. Home he described the place. His case was a miracle. Now, I had a similar experience, one that I have never talked about. but my boyfriend now wants to tell my story. I understand. I am proud that you have come back to tell your story, wish there was more people like you, others and myself. I am truly blessed/have peace to further my journey. Perhaps when I am finished with my dead line with Robert Reed publishing, we can discuss this further. Wish you the best, turtledove. God Bless!!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thanks for sharing this it gives me some confirmation of what i have been feeling.
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That is great...happy to hear!! We are not alone :) Will be in touch, td
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That is great...happy to hear!! We are not alone :) Will be in touch, td
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, keimosobie, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where you face the sins of the past and decide to live a better life. i enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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this is very well written, keimosobie, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where you face the sins of the past and decide to live a better life. i enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Charlene0513
In this short story you have tried to convey the lavishness that is provided to all when entering the kingdom of God.
Your insightful look into His fold is done with integrity and humility.
Errors noted:
....and the [angles](angels)....
...hesitant and [god](God)....
Then [god](God) wanted me...
....forever and people [where](were) sitting....
Charlene
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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In this short story you have tried to convey the lavishness that is provided to all when entering the kingdom of God.
Your insightful look into His fold is done with integrity and humility.
Errors noted:
....and the [angles](angels)....
...hesitant and [god](God)....
Then [god](God) wanted me...
....forever and people [where](were) sitting....
Charlene
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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thank you for the review and the corrections.
Comment from adewpearl
You get inside the narrator's inner thoughts and feelings well
I did start being a good catholic - Catholic
I just laid on the couch - lay - past tense of lie
God, I guess, - add the comma after guess
god reassured them and they flew - God
I walked toward God, who - add comma
God said, "Let's see." - add the apostrophe
Someone came in and handed god - God
was between them only." I said - only,"
Let's just say - add the apostrophe
banish me from his site - sight
Then god wanted me - God
he had a face, and sometimes his face - add comma
he made it here once, didn't he? - I added the comma and the question mark
I was taken to a table that seemed to go on forever, and - add comma
Did it happen? - add question mark
Am I still in God's graces? - add question mark
It's been a long time since this happened, and - add comma
I hope I'm not to late - too late
A most thoughtful story :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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You get inside the narrator's inner thoughts and feelings well
I did start being a good catholic - Catholic
I just laid on the couch - lay - past tense of lie
God, I guess, - add the comma after guess
god reassured them and they flew - God
I walked toward God, who - add comma
God said, "Let's see." - add the apostrophe
Someone came in and handed god - God
was between them only." I said - only,"
Let's just say - add the apostrophe
banish me from his site - sight
Then god wanted me - God
he had a face, and sometimes his face - add comma
he made it here once, didn't he? - I added the comma and the question mark
I was taken to a table that seemed to go on forever, and - add comma
Did it happen? - add question mark
Am I still in God's graces? - add question mark
It's been a long time since this happened, and - add comma
I hope I'm not to late - too late
A most thoughtful story :-) Brooke
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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I thought my writting was getting better as i had not had so many corrections as of late. Lol thanks for reviewing.
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You write well - it's just the punctuation/technical stuff that is a bit problematic. You should sign up for my grammar tips/SPAG class in June. Many students who have taken it have found it very useful : -) Brooke
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Thank you Brooke
Comment from RazberryBullet
That's a different twist!--the angles immediately tried to force me to the ground. I started to wrestle with them. I'm not kidding. I was a wrestler in High school and I was not about to be pushed around.
me being one to never let things go/omit>./(,)I started picking at my wounds.
Liked this: God said,"/Let>Let's see."
Unique story! Good job :)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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That's a different twist!--the angles immediately tried to force me to the ground. I started to wrestle with them. I'm not kidding. I was a wrestler in High school and I was not about to be pushed around.
me being one to never let things go/omit>./(,)I started picking at my wounds.
Liked this: God said,"/Let>Let's see."
Unique story! Good job :)
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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thanks razberry corrections made.
Comment from dutchess2014
You have a unique way of drawing your readers into your book, then you paint a picture that makes you feel like your a fly on the wall, while still allowing your readers mind to wonder. That's talent!!!!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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You have a unique way of drawing your readers into your book, then you paint a picture that makes you feel like your a fly on the wall, while still allowing your readers mind to wonder. That's talent!!!!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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thank you
Comment from Flamingbush
This is very interesting. Dreams and visions can contain so many subliminal messages! Sometimes it doesn't make sense, then when you pray about it, a light comes on and it does make sense. I truly empathize with your character, his worries and desperation. I hope he finds freedom from whatever has been troubling him.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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This is very interesting. Dreams and visions can contain so many subliminal messages! Sometimes it doesn't make sense, then when you pray about it, a light comes on and it does make sense. I truly empathize with your character, his worries and desperation. I hope he finds freedom from whatever has been troubling him.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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thank you
