Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Thoroughly Modern Willy"A collection of my poems
40 total reviews
Comment from gazzagodbod
lol such naughty naughtiness i love the characters and all the things they get up too eyes glued from start to finish though i still dont know what a purple poople fruit is
thanks
gazza
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
  |
lol such naughty naughtiness i love the characters and all the things they get up too eyes glued from start to finish though i still dont know what a purple poople fruit is
thanks
gazza
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thanks for the review. All the entries in this so far are hilarious and I hope there are more entries still to come.
As for the purple poople fruit, I think we just have to use our imagination for that one...
Steve
Comment from barkingdog
Naughty Princess, Nice Poem!
WOW! What can I say, she is a real modern girl. Lives the life and dies as the price.
You paint Willy Want-Sitt-More as the tattooed pierced, slut with excess hair color, makeup and skimpy clothing.
Her fast sex and drugged up life style ruin her body with warts and saggy breasts. Fans leave for a new Princess and she drinks herself to death.
Your rhyme and meter are impeccable.
'pickled Willie dies' brings to mind a penis preserved in formaldehyde. See how you've twisted my mind? LOL
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
Naughty Princess, Nice Poem!
WOW! What can I say, she is a real modern girl. Lives the life and dies as the price.
You paint Willy Want-Sitt-More as the tattooed pierced, slut with excess hair color, makeup and skimpy clothing.
Her fast sex and drugged up life style ruin her body with warts and saggy breasts. Fans leave for a new Princess and she drinks herself to death.
Your rhyme and meter are impeccable.
'pickled Willie dies' brings to mind a penis preserved in formaldehyde. See how you've twisted my mind? LOL
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about your twisted mind - if it wants to conceive preserved penises I take no responsibility!
Thanks for the great review
Steve
-
Whew! What a relief. I still have some imagination left. LOL
Comment from jackpeg
Hilariously crafted. A fun read with much crafty wording. I suspect it is a slight jibe against the British Royalty, but if so, I'm not privy to just how. You've really shown off your R&M talents in this one.
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
Hilariously crafted. A fun read with much crafty wording. I suspect it is a slight jibe against the British Royalty, but if so, I'm not privy to just how. You've really shown off your R&M talents in this one.
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Hmmm .... Would I do that to the poor old royals? They are more than capable of stuffing up their own fairy-tales! Maybe a little swipe at certain life-styles, but in reality I was too busy twisting the words to fit the contest conditions to worry about satirical content - the poem just went where it went!
Thanks for the review.
Steve
-
Whatever subtle messages you meant to weave into to it, I liked it.
Comment from jehanned
Ah, this sad story is not for the faint of heart-- no one wants to see what happens AFTER happy ever after! A much too common happening in today's society. Content is easy to understand and for reader to connect to. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
Ah, this sad story is not for the faint of heart-- no one wants to see what happens AFTER happy ever after! A much too common happening in today's society. Content is easy to understand and for reader to connect to. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thanks for your kind words and best wishes. This promises to be a fun contest.
Steve
Comment from miss joyce
I loved reading this jolly-good fun-time poetic story piece.
Willy-good name for Wilhelmina. She sounds quite eye catching
with all her do-dads and other accessories. This has good flow and reads well and also, the rhyme scheme adds to your clever write.
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
I loved reading this jolly-good fun-time poetic story piece.
Willy-good name for Wilhelmina. She sounds quite eye catching
with all her do-dads and other accessories. This has good flow and reads well and also, the rhyme scheme adds to your clever write.
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thank you - you're right, it is just a piece of fun.
Steve
-
You are very welcome, poet!
Comment from writer c
Thorougly, completely, absolutely, a fun read!! Poor Wilhelmina, the ravages of sin...sadly pickled Wilhelmina dies.........LOL Long poems often make me glaze over half through, but this is laced with such humor and clever phrases that I read it twice to enjoy it all over again.
Carol
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
Thorougly, completely, absolutely, a fun read!! Poor Wilhelmina, the ravages of sin...sadly pickled Wilhelmina dies.........LOL Long poems often make me glaze over half through, but this is laced with such humor and clever phrases that I read it twice to enjoy it all over again.
Carol
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thank you, Carol, for your kind words. This promises to be a fun contest.
Steve
Comment from fairy77
That was like a nursery rhyme!Well done!You rhymed the whole way through even with the big words you used lol.Good story.Reminded me of princess and the pea.Good vocab and punctuation.Good luck in the contest.I'm sure you'll do well.Finally you have a great imagination.beth
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
That was like a nursery rhyme!Well done!You rhymed the whole way through even with the big words you used lol.Good story.Reminded me of princess and the pea.Good vocab and punctuation.Good luck in the contest.I'm sure you'll do well.Finally you have a great imagination.beth
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thanks, Beth, for the kind words. This promises to be a fun contest.
Steve
Comment from KiwiGal
OK, you win. I love to laugh and I started to at the second stanza - scared the birds in the tree outside.
But you lose, because I didn't find one sad part in it! Yes, you wrote 'sad' words, I guess that's all they require, but I was still laughing at the previous line so couldn't appreciate her pain.
I'm surprised you didn't call her Brittany (sans knickers) although I wouldn't like to hazard a guess as to what you'd rhyme with 'Brit'. Hehehehehe.
I feel like my parched throat's just been assuaged. It's been a while between 'drinks'.
Welcome back!
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
 |
OK, you win. I love to laugh and I started to at the second stanza - scared the birds in the tree outside.
But you lose, because I didn't find one sad part in it! Yes, you wrote 'sad' words, I guess that's all they require, but I was still laughing at the previous line so couldn't appreciate her pain.
I'm surprised you didn't call her Brittany (sans knickers) although I wouldn't like to hazard a guess as to what you'd rhyme with 'Brit'. Hehehehehe.
I feel like my parched throat's just been assuaged. It's been a while between 'drinks'.
Welcome back!
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
I though it was you needed welcoming back - I reckon you've missed one or two ( blind contest entries so you wouldn't have been messaged)
I've been working on a 'bush' poem to enter in a radio contest in conjunction with our local show, and its turned into a bit of an epic tear-jerker/history/ghost story/philosophy! A little more serious than this silly piece of froth. I scatter-gunned all types of princesses - Brit the Twit may have been in my mind - also Harris Pilton as she's re-incarnated in World of Warcraft...
Good to see YOU back.
Steve
-
Oh no - that mustn't happen! I'll have to cruise your Portfolio more often!
Moyramouse was inspired by P.Bea's stupid wedding hat.
Ah, Brit the ... twit. Nice save.
Re me ... are ya gonna review it?
Comment from RavensWord
Could they've made the contest any harder? I doubt it. You fulfilled and overcame the constraints with vivid imagery making the reader laugh, smile, sigh and nod at a logical conclusion.
For your consideration, and this only because when I read it aloud I hesitated on the word, "sadly". Not until the very end did you ask me for compassion and by that time I didn't have any to give. She harvested what she cultivated. Perhaps another adjective more in keeping with the overall tone i.e., "thoroughly".
But ultimately the pros are swift and tight and paint a flamboyant picture, making this a triple-barreled winner.
Wilhelmin it's a wonderful job!
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
Could they've made the contest any harder? I doubt it. You fulfilled and overcame the constraints with vivid imagery making the reader laugh, smile, sigh and nod at a logical conclusion.
For your consideration, and this only because when I read it aloud I hesitated on the word, "sadly". Not until the very end did you ask me for compassion and by that time I didn't have any to give. She harvested what she cultivated. Perhaps another adjective more in keeping with the overall tone i.e., "thoroughly".
But ultimately the pros are swift and tight and paint a flamboyant picture, making this a triple-barreled winner.
Wilhelmin it's a wonderful job!
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thank you for your considered review - Glad you enjoyed this piece of silliness. I'll take a look at that last line.
Steve
-
You are very welcome Steve. And again I found it a wonderful piece to read.
Comment from Sandy P.
This truly had me laughing out loud in certain places - your words are absolutely wonderful - naughty and hilarious. Now, this sounds like what some of the so-called "real" princesses of today might be like. I kept thinking about a couple of those horrible reality shows of today "The Real Housewives" for one - and again it made me laugh. You obviously met all the criteria (which is amazing in itself) this was a hard one and you did an outstanding job. Best of luck in the contest - you have a definite winner here!
Sandy
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
|
This truly had me laughing out loud in certain places - your words are absolutely wonderful - naughty and hilarious. Now, this sounds like what some of the so-called "real" princesses of today might be like. I kept thinking about a couple of those horrible reality shows of today "The Real Housewives" for one - and again it made me laugh. You obviously met all the criteria (which is amazing in itself) this was a hard one and you did an outstanding job. Best of luck in the contest - you have a definite winner here!
Sandy
Comment Written 23-May-2011
reply by the author on 23-May-2011
-
Thanks, Sandy. I don't know 'Real Housewives' and I've already made a mental note to steer well clear!
I love it when someone tells me my words have made them really laugh - that's what it's all about!
Steve