Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Poetry in the Blood"A collection of my poems
44 total reviews
Comment from nancyjam
Oh, now that ending is just cruel,
A very imaginative poem with
amazing imagery and word play.
Expert rhyme and meter.
Should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Oh, now that ending is just cruel,
A very imaginative poem with
amazing imagery and word play.
Expert rhyme and meter.
Should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thank you for the review - I did think of submitting it without the final stanza, but comments suggest I made the right choice!
Comment from juliaSjames
This is fantastic verse. Perfectly written quatrains - I note that you deliberately included the quatrain form in the first stanza ... sweet jibe ... with full rhymes throughout. You make it look as easy as a walk in the park, but I know from trial and error that it takes time to get it right.
Love the tongue-in-cheek quality of the verse. Recalls the great masters like Pope.
The hyperbole is intensely amusing, culminating in the final irony. I believe I heard demonic laughter just before the candle toppled over.
This will do well in the contest. And you had fun. Good job.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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This is fantastic verse. Perfectly written quatrains - I note that you deliberately included the quatrain form in the first stanza ... sweet jibe ... with full rhymes throughout. You make it look as easy as a walk in the park, but I know from trial and error that it takes time to get it right.
Love the tongue-in-cheek quality of the verse. Recalls the great masters like Pope.
The hyperbole is intensely amusing, culminating in the final irony. I believe I heard demonic laughter just before the candle toppled over.
This will do well in the contest. And you had fun. Good job.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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I actually wrote this (including the quatrain reference) before I spotted that there was a possible contest for it.
Does anybody read Pope any more? I know 'Rape of the Lock' but not much more - University days were long ago!
Comment from Parashakti
Your poem is really wonderful. When I read the closing stanza I could feel the end of the life like a candel and finally, ...the manuscript goes up in smoke.
Kind regards
Shakti
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Your poem is really wonderful. When I read the closing stanza I could feel the end of the life like a candel and finally, ...the manuscript goes up in smoke.
Kind regards
Shakti
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thank you for the kind words. Steve
Comment from MS Writer
Best of luck in the contest.
What a great verse:
Alliteration's lovely lilt
And onomatopoeia's rage
Do, like a knife sunk to the hilt,
Pour forth emotion on the page.
Rhyme and rhythme are well maintained. Vivid imagery. Very enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Best of luck in the contest.
What a great verse:
Alliteration's lovely lilt
And onomatopoeia's rage
Do, like a knife sunk to the hilt,
Pour forth emotion on the page.
Rhyme and rhythme are well maintained. Vivid imagery. Very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thank you for the review and the wishes.
Comment from wholechild
Very creative use of death, violence and gore to make your poetic point. Great word choice throughout and wonderful sense of humor at the end. Best of luck!
Shannon
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Very creative use of death, violence and gore to make your poetic point. Great word choice throughout and wonderful sense of humor at the end. Best of luck!
Shannon
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thanks, Shannon. I started out to write a completely different poem about poetic obsession, but the dark side took over!
Comment from ladywiltse
This is a wonderful filled with many poetic devices. Good luck in the contest. I liked faint flame is fading fast alliteration and the rhyming is sound. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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This is a wonderful filled with many poetic devices. Good luck in the contest. I liked faint flame is fading fast alliteration and the rhyming is sound. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thank you. I started out to write a completely different poem about poetic obsession, but the dark side took over!What! You laughed at my tragic tale
Comment from moyramouse
Oh this deserves 6 stars and sadly I am all out. I loved all the poem but when I got to the final line I nearly choked with laughter. You are a gem among men.
Yet another wonderful example of your infectious sense of humour. The poem had excellent meter and rhyme as well, plus all the imagery we could ask for. A fine write, hope you win!! xmouse
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Oh this deserves 6 stars and sadly I am all out. I loved all the poem but when I got to the final line I nearly choked with laughter. You are a gem among men.
Yet another wonderful example of your infectious sense of humour. The poem had excellent meter and rhyme as well, plus all the imagery we could ask for. A fine write, hope you win!! xmouse
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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What! You laughed at my tragic tale!! How dare you? :)
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Only at your last line, it was such black humour. xxmouse
Comment from jackpeg
You deserve a six for this well-crafted light verse gem, but did not have one. So consistent with the meter and the abab rhyme scheme. I especially enjoyed the rich vocabulary. If you don't score high, high, high in the contest, I'll have the editor's village burned. So pleased with myself for signing up as a fan. Once in a while I do something right.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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You deserve a six for this well-crafted light verse gem, but did not have one. So consistent with the meter and the abab rhyme scheme. I especially enjoyed the rich vocabulary. If you don't score high, high, high in the contest, I'll have the editor's village burned. So pleased with myself for signing up as a fan. Once in a while I do something right.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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I started out to write a completely different poem about poetic obsession, but the dark side took over! Thanks for the kind words.
Comment from BothePo8
I like this poem very much. I wrote one much like it on the same topic that I have also intered in the same contest as you have entered called, " I have a Poet's Rhythm in my Soul." I also wrote a humorous one on the same topic called "The Frustrated Poet." I guess great minds think alike. First let me say, I wish you the best in the contest. Now for the poem....It is clear, focused, creative and well written. The rhyme is very good and the poem has a smooth, flowing rhythm. All in all, a very fine poem! Best wishes, Bo
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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I like this poem very much. I wrote one much like it on the same topic that I have also intered in the same contest as you have entered called, " I have a Poet's Rhythm in my Soul." I also wrote a humorous one on the same topic called "The Frustrated Poet." I guess great minds think alike. First let me say, I wish you the best in the contest. Now for the poem....It is clear, focused, creative and well written. The rhyme is very good and the poem has a smooth, flowing rhythm. All in all, a very fine poem! Best wishes, Bo
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thank you - I will definitely check out your poems. I started out to write a completely different poem about poetic obsession, but the dark side took over!
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Nice poem....Watch out for the dark side!....Bo
Comment from mermaids
This is like reading a tragic movie. Your words well describe the feelings and emotions of the poet. The ending surprised me with the poet's writing being destroyed.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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This is like reading a tragic movie. Your words well describe the feelings and emotions of the poet. The ending surprised me with the poet's writing being destroyed.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Thank you. At first I couldn't decide whether to include the last stanza - it actually finishes quite nicely with the poet's death. However I ran it past my wife and she burst out laughing at the irony so in it went.