Comment from Winslow

Excellent

Dear Begin,

It seems this gent doesn't have a clue, all he wants to do is sing the blues. He had a good love, now he drove her away, all he can do is sing an unhappy tune. This has rhythm, this has rhyme, a mighty fine song you have provided this time.

Good luck in the contest, it is a strong contender.

Warm regards,

Winslow

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Winslow

So glad you stopped by to sing the blues with my toothless guy. Thanks for the kind review. CArol

Comment from Belinda

Excellent

Ha... it does seem and sound like a blues song to me. It also gives me the imagery of the toothless smile and the girl with the pie that smells so good. Nice song, Carol, and before I forget again, may I congratulate you for winning the contest... (Jarrod did it!)

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Belinda

Thanks for the review and the congratulations. I appreciate it very much. Appreciate the kind words. Carol

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

This has a great musical sound to its flow and structure, and the story line is engaging and quite bluesy in nature - the repeated chorus with "wavin the holy book" really drew me in to the visuals I conjured from the description. Brooke

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Brooke

I thought the wavin' of the Holy Book and hopin' he'd change tomorrow was pretty good too. Thanks for the kind review. Carol

Comment from fictionwriter

Excellent

What a great song. If someone doesn't love you for who you are, they can just hit the road. What a great little poem. Loved it, and it put a smile on my face too. Great job.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

fictionwriter

Toothless or not, he was singing the blues and she didn't care. Thanks for the kind review. Carol

Comment from melyuki

Excellent

Hi Carol, this is awesome. Absolutely love it. Would be great to hear it set to music. A terrific story , with fabulous flow and rhyme. Keeps the reader enthralled right to the end, Love the chorus lines, they suit so well. And the " toothless smile " conjures up such a vivid picture. You are one clever little bunny aren't you. Do you play guitar, and if not do you know some one who could strum a tune for your song. It would sound great. I can almost hear it being sung as I read it. Great job and good luck in the contest. Hope this comes out on top. lots of smiles from Mel

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Mel

I signed on when you said good night and now I just came in to check and there you are...Great way to met, huh? I don't play an instrument and I haven't sand since ...well, let's just say a long time. This just jumped out of my head this morning..Have no idea where it came from. Glad you enjoyed it... Have a great day, my friend. Smiles, CArol

reply by melyuki on 05-Oct-2009

well your head sure is workin' well gal - You ain't got dem fuzzys today. Have a good one, Mel xx

Comment from Ms. Gray

Excellent

I enjoyed reading this tonight. I could almost hear the song as I read. I love the sittin and rockin. A very nice image. Thanks for sharing this poem.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Patti

Thanks for the kind review. I greatly appreciate it. Carol

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

This is a very well written poem/song with a smooth flow of lyrics. There is excellent imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

This one was fun to write and I am pleased that you enjoyed it. Thanks again CArol

reply by c_lucas on 05-Oct-2009

You're welcome, Carol. Charlie

Comment from AnnaLinda

Excellent

BeginAgain,

I'm really "lovin" your rockin' blues song!! Your chorus is great! I really liked this: "You said no more drinkin', or lovin' tonight, Wavin' the holy book, talkin' of sorrow,
I told you I'd change, startin' tomorrow.

I bet a 'toothless smile' that your song has caused a lot of smiles!

Nicely done! It makes for a wonderful contest entry!

SweetLinda

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Sweet Linda

So glad that you enjoy this little song of mine. Can't you just imagine someone with no teeth sitting on the porch strummin' the blues... Oh yeah! Thanks for the kind review, Smiles, Carol

reply by AnnaLinda on 05-Oct-2009

Sure Kan!

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

This was so much fun. Are there women out there who really love a man with no teeth??? Anyway, aside from that, this was great BA!! The chorus is so long, I might not repeat it after every verse, but other than that little suggestion, excellent!!

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Judian

I thought maybe I should shorten the chorus to but so far everyone likes it...What do I know about songs...not much. Thanks for the review. Carol

reply by Judian James on 05-Oct-2009

No, the chorus itself, if someone were actually singing it, is probably fine but I think due to its length, it wouldn't be sung as much as you have shown. just a thought

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

This is not only a great song, it is a terrific story too. I just love it. I would really like to hear it sung to music. Great entry for the contest and I wish you all the best. Very nice work with this one.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2009

Sash

I can't tell you how many people have said that I should set it to music. I am a writer, don't know the first thing about setting something to music. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I must have had a new muse stop by this early morning, because this just popped out of my head. Thanks again..Carol