CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Birth"A collection of poetry
44 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
Wow! Now that is how one should aspire to write a clarity pyramid, that is just fantastic Sue, love it mate, you should take a bow, you could make a book of these beauties, creativity off the charts!
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Wow! Now that is how one should aspire to write a clarity pyramid, that is just fantastic Sue, love it mate, you should take a bow, you could make a book of these beauties, creativity off the charts!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from Little Miss Thing
This is really good, it got me thinking. Usually poems like this confuse me to death but this one was simple and very well said. I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
-LMT
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This is really good, it got me thinking. Usually poems like this confuse me to death but this one was simple and very well said. I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
-LMT
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from patwannabe
Sixteezkid, this is wonderful! I love it. I'm on God's side, but I do acknowledge the conflict. So much of God's message is conflict, but I think He wants all of us to fully understand the meaning of, and reason for, this conflict. Good job. Keep it up. patwannabe
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Sixteezkid, this is wonderful! I love it. I'm on God's side, but I do acknowledge the conflict. So much of God's message is conflict, but I think He wants all of us to fully understand the meaning of, and reason for, this conflict. Good job. Keep it up. patwannabe
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from Atheen
Very nice poem, very easy to read and a lot said with a few well chosen words.
The eternal question remains. Even though we know when and how it all started, we are still left to pounder "why" :)
Personally I think that God and the "atom" as your wit puts it, can co-exist. If God created the universe, atoms and all, then the reason the big bang arrived suddenly makes more sense, and we can still keep all of our scientists trying to find out the hows and the whens, now knowing the why :)
Well done :)
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Very nice poem, very easy to read and a lot said with a few well chosen words.
The eternal question remains. Even though we know when and how it all started, we are still left to pounder "why" :)
Personally I think that God and the "atom" as your wit puts it, can co-exist. If God created the universe, atoms and all, then the reason the big bang arrived suddenly makes more sense, and we can still keep all of our scientists trying to find out the hows and the whens, now knowing the why :)
Well done :)
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from NightWriter
"Birth" is a creative and well assembled clarity poem. Well stated with a perfect ending line ... One atom or one God--at odds. Bravo!
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"Birth" is a creative and well assembled clarity poem. Well stated with a perfect ending line ... One atom or one God--at odds. Bravo!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from findingmyroom
Awesome. The second and third lines especially encapsulate the argument in a nutshell. The near-alliteration in lines five and six is a great device.
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Awesome. The second and third lines especially encapsulate the argument in a nutshell. The near-alliteration in lines five and six is a great device.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from bard owl
This is the best contest entry for a Clarity Pyramid that I have read. You cleverly bring up the question of whether the universe was born through intelligent design or otherwise. Best of luck in the contest, Sue. This one is a winner. Blessings, Linda
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This is the best contest entry for a Clarity Pyramid that I have read. You cleverly bring up the question of whether the universe was born through intelligent design or otherwise. Best of luck in the contest, Sue. This one is a winner. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from Joan E.
This a wonderful entry and perfect example of using the Clarity Pyramid to its best advantage. I really enjoyed your balancing science and religion in your interpretation of the birth of the universe. Your use of abundant alliteration intensified the mood and the picture matched it so well.
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This a wonderful entry and perfect example of using the Clarity Pyramid to its best advantage. I really enjoyed your balancing science and religion in your interpretation of the birth of the universe. Your use of abundant alliteration intensified the mood and the picture matched it so well.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from rmdelta
Sue, this was excellent writing and such a strong contest entry. Terrific descriptives chosen and it was even understandable to me. That makes it the winner for sure.
REggie
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Sue, this was excellent writing and such a strong contest entry. Terrific descriptives chosen and it was even understandable to me. That makes it the winner for sure.
REggie
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009
Comment from prodigal
I have recently learned the rules for clarity pyramids. One thing that stands out is that the last verse should tie in with the first word. Yours does that quite well. I think you did a good job on this one.- Sam
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I have recently learned the rules for clarity pyramids. One thing that stands out is that the last verse should tie in with the first word. Yours does that quite well. I think you did a good job on this one.- Sam
Comment Written 03-Apr-2009