Comment from Misty19

Excellent

I really loved the imagery presented to the reader...it created a a mythical and rich mood. Ultimately, there are not many suggestions I would make for this piece, as I find it to be well written.
My only constructive criticism is with the rhythm...might be better executed with some additional punctuation, but as I stated, certainly not necessary...and I myself would be torn to add it.
Very Well Done!!!

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2007

---

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

I'll take another peek at the punctuation. Thank you for your kind comments.

Comment from G.B. Smith

Excellent

.

Jewell, If I had a 6th star left I'd give it to you. I love the picture. It frames so well your poem.

Anticipation can be yours
If you imagine nature's music
While your soul
takes its first dance step

I am reminded of the movie, Shall we dance. You really did well
Bear

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2007

---

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

Aww, you are always so kind. Where's that star? lol I reread this and thought it was just so so...but thanks, I 'll keep it this way.

reply by G.B. Smith on 21-Jan-2007

Thats me, Mr. So & So

Comment from KING SLATON

Excellent

You have tapped into a gold mine of emotional expression recently for whatever reason and it shines in all of your recent poetry.
Excellent work Jewell.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2007

---

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

They come and go KING. Thanks so much.

Comment from Susanne M. Psyris

Excellent

Very lovely piece with awesome imagery. The flow is quite good. Fourth verse is my favorite...Much enjoyed this fine writing. Hugs and smiles, Susanne

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2007

---

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

It's great to hear from you Susanne! Thanks.

Comment from Swtdreamz

Excellent

Just as a sunrise
Welcomes a new day
An enlightenment
Waits behind the scenes - lovely lines- I like to learn new things everyday and discover new theories, etc
A unique perspective waits
In the setting sun - i am so bad with drawing perspective- but better at understanding it
While your soul
takes its first dance step- a cautious step to move the tide
good job

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2007

---

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007

:-) and sweet dreams to you too. Thanks.