How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Micro-Critting"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
97 total reviews
Comment from alf collier
Hi Jay. I should have read all this before I ever attempted to put pen to paper. How many hours I would have saved you in reviewing is beyond my comprehension. Not one, or at least very few, of the points you make ever crossed my mind, I am so ashamed to say!!! Do you realize, that I am now storing these pearls of wisdom and seeing everything about writing in an entirely new light!!! Love this, alf
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Hi Jay. I should have read all this before I ever attempted to put pen to paper. How many hours I would have saved you in reviewing is beyond my comprehension. Not one, or at least very few, of the points you make ever crossed my mind, I am so ashamed to say!!! Do you realize, that I am now storing these pearls of wisdom and seeing everything about writing in an entirely new light!!! Love this, alf
Comment Written 11-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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I'm SO pleased you're enjoying this, Alf. When I first posted this series, all those years ago, one comment I got was how it became at some point a treatise on writing instead of critting.
Comment from Gloria ....
Having dabbled in sales myself, (automobiles and burial plots) I can attest to the veracity of the big sales lie, erm pitch intended to create urgency. Don't you find it strange that none of the investment bankers talk about the magic of compound interest anymore? What ever happened to that? HA! The magic went the way of Enron and the stock market. So much for magic.
Of course writers are salespeople, as are all artists if they plan to make any money. These days authors best be prepared to do most of the marketing themselves too. Forcing friends and family to buy their book won't put bacon on the table. The marketing aspect of publishing makes the actual writing of a novel look like a Sunday afternoon stroll.
I absolutely love your example with the cat. The first paragraph was the entire story and then who knows what the second paragraph was about except yawnsville. I certainly didn't see it as contrast, which I know you didn't either.
As far as Alice went, Bill Schmill, I want to know more about the chocolate donut. And apparently so did you.
Very true there is little "structural" distinction between short fiction and a novel. The only difference is getting in waaaaaaaay deeper in the novel. Do you think people read novels as much as they used to? I don't think so. I've never done the research or crunched the numbers.
If I like a novel, I will finish it, and then immediately read it again, and then if it was really good, I'll read it a third time with nothing else in between. Cormac McCarthy's The Road just did that to me.
Don't even mention Ulysses or Being and Nothingness. Those books take effort. ;-)
Anyway I could go on and on and end up boring the crap out of you, so I shall end here.
In my opinion reviewing would make a saleable novel for the general public with a little bit more jazzed up FanStory stuff. Don't tell Tom though. He might take it personally or demand royalties. LOL.
Exceptional writing as always dear jay.
Gloria
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Having dabbled in sales myself, (automobiles and burial plots) I can attest to the veracity of the big sales lie, erm pitch intended to create urgency. Don't you find it strange that none of the investment bankers talk about the magic of compound interest anymore? What ever happened to that? HA! The magic went the way of Enron and the stock market. So much for magic.
Of course writers are salespeople, as are all artists if they plan to make any money. These days authors best be prepared to do most of the marketing themselves too. Forcing friends and family to buy their book won't put bacon on the table. The marketing aspect of publishing makes the actual writing of a novel look like a Sunday afternoon stroll.
I absolutely love your example with the cat. The first paragraph was the entire story and then who knows what the second paragraph was about except yawnsville. I certainly didn't see it as contrast, which I know you didn't either.
As far as Alice went, Bill Schmill, I want to know more about the chocolate donut. And apparently so did you.
Very true there is little "structural" distinction between short fiction and a novel. The only difference is getting in waaaaaaaay deeper in the novel. Do you think people read novels as much as they used to? I don't think so. I've never done the research or crunched the numbers.
If I like a novel, I will finish it, and then immediately read it again, and then if it was really good, I'll read it a third time with nothing else in between. Cormac McCarthy's The Road just did that to me.
Don't even mention Ulysses or Being and Nothingness. Those books take effort. ;-)
Anyway I could go on and on and end up boring the crap out of you, so I shall end here.
In my opinion reviewing would make a saleable novel for the general public with a little bit more jazzed up FanStory stuff. Don't tell Tom though. He might take it personally or demand royalties. LOL.
Exceptional writing as always dear jay.
Gloria
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Gloria, you flamfoozle me with your wonderful crits. (Don't bother. You won't find it.) Thank you SOOO much for being my biggest supporter.
Comment from Spitfire
I have to admit, the length of this daunted me. Hence the long wait. But once I started, I was hooked. Great analogy with the salesperson story. Everyone can relate to the example. (BTW, I've already stopped following a novel for the reasons you cited.) Having studied the craft of writing, I'm familiar with the material about endings. Still, you illustrated it so well, that I did not skim over it.
Okay, not to comment on a word you used that seemed out of place.
The bell rang. Alice shuddered.
For me, "shudder" implies fear. Alice has been praying for this moment, for Bill to notice her. Also, you said she was relieved in the summary above. "Shudder just doesn't seem the right word here. Maybe "tensed"?
Looking forward to Chapter Six.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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I have to admit, the length of this daunted me. Hence the long wait. But once I started, I was hooked. Great analogy with the salesperson story. Everyone can relate to the example. (BTW, I've already stopped following a novel for the reasons you cited.) Having studied the craft of writing, I'm familiar with the material about endings. Still, you illustrated it so well, that I did not skim over it.
Okay, not to comment on a word you used that seemed out of place.
The bell rang. Alice shuddered.
For me, "shudder" implies fear. Alice has been praying for this moment, for Bill to notice her. Also, you said she was relieved in the summary above. "Shudder just doesn't seem the right word here. Maybe "tensed"?
Looking forward to Chapter Six.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Alice has been shuddering since 2009. She is now tensed. Thank you, my friend. It was long. I'm happy you weren't daunted, or shuddering. LOL, you know how I loves my sixes, dear. Thank you for your generosity.
Comment from amahra
Excellent tips on writing. The attention grabber at the beginning and the hook at the end; all great points for writers. I was lucky to do that with my short novel. But it's a lot of work, I see now, with one longer. Thanks for deciding to post critter.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Excellent tips on writing. The attention grabber at the beginning and the hook at the end; all great points for writers. I was lucky to do that with my short novel. But it's a lot of work, I see now, with one longer. Thanks for deciding to post critter.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thanks, Ama, for reading this and for your kind commentary. I really do appreciate your presence here.
Comment from kriver
Hi Jay,
This was a funny chapter
and fun to read.
That sure is true about the ends of the chapter needing a hook to make the reader feel like they can't wait to read what will happen next. Those are the stories/books I look for. If something doesn't happen or isn't building up to something exciting that is going to occur with in a few chapters I'll put it down and find something else.
Some books by some very prominent authors drop the ball because the ending seems flat and a real let down to what was a really good story up to that point. Anyways, I think this series is a winner and will help a lot of us to improve. Very good clear examples and writing principles to follow.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Hi Jay,
This was a funny chapter
and fun to read.
That sure is true about the ends of the chapter needing a hook to make the reader feel like they can't wait to read what will happen next. Those are the stories/books I look for. If something doesn't happen or isn't building up to something exciting that is going to occur with in a few chapters I'll put it down and find something else.
Some books by some very prominent authors drop the ball because the ending seems flat and a real let down to what was a really good story up to that point. Anyways, I think this series is a winner and will help a lot of us to improve. Very good clear examples and writing principles to follow.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thanks so much for your commentary, Kriver, and your kind way of stating it. I've gotten such gracious response for this series. It's a good feeling that some get some value from it.
Comment from boxergirl
Good job, Jay, with the continuation of your crittin series.
I have to admit I could identify with your sales technique as an insurance
salesperson. Never was good at it...if they wanted it, I was sure they would ask for it. 8-)
I like all of your tips on writing the short story. My favorite is making sure you "hook" them with your introduction and then of course, make sure you follow through with interesting details and story lines.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Good job, Jay, with the continuation of your crittin series.
I have to admit I could identify with your sales technique as an insurance
salesperson. Never was good at it...if they wanted it, I was sure they would ask for it. 8-)
I like all of your tips on writing the short story. My favorite is making sure you "hook" them with your introduction and then of course, make sure you follow through with interesting details and story lines.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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So glad you dug out the helpful parts from my comedy skit. Or so some people felt. I tried to instill meaningful advice while I had a great time writing it.
Comment from Dashjianta
A very enjoyable and informative read, Jay. Flows really well and your examples demonstrate your points about hooking readers, holding their interest and giving them a worthy ending well. Written in a way that engages and offers good advice for writers and reviewers alike, without talking down to them.
I thought I was going to fly through this one with no nits, but then I found a couple of teeny, tiny niggles.:
that chronicles the life of Bloom over a 24-hour period--and take (takes?) several hundred pages to accomplish it?
The novel, on the other hand(,) can be distinguished
Maybe, someone should convince him to own up to his myopia and wear glasses.
--Should there be a comma after 'maybe'? It doesn't seem right to me.
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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A very enjoyable and informative read, Jay. Flows really well and your examples demonstrate your points about hooking readers, holding their interest and giving them a worthy ending well. Written in a way that engages and offers good advice for writers and reviewers alike, without talking down to them.
I thought I was going to fly through this one with no nits, but then I found a couple of teeny, tiny niggles.:
that chronicles the life of Bloom over a 24-hour period--and take (takes?) several hundred pages to accomplish it?
The novel, on the other hand(,) can be distinguished
Maybe, someone should convince him to own up to his myopia and wear glasses.
--Should there be a comma after 'maybe'? It doesn't seem right to me.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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All three of the nits were perfect catches. They've all been changed, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. One person thought it was looooooong and I could have edited out half of it. I know I was chatty. Guilty! But I thought it entertained while it advised. You are appreciated, Alex!
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Nah. If you took half of it out it'd end up being a dry 'how to' without any of you in it, and where would the fun be in that? If you're going to write something about engaging and entertaining readers then the best way to do it is to engage and entertain readers yourself so they can see what you mean for themselves. Show not tell and whatnot. :D
Comment from Drew Delaney
Yes, I totally agree with what you are saying. The story needs plots or subplots that are so engaging, the reader can't put the book down.
And the writing has to be good. Between being a good crafter of words and good with plots and scenes and developing awesome characters, it's a full time job. LOL Reviewing is difficult, but we learn by doing it as well as writing. That's the good part of it all. Nice work. Drew xx
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Yes, I totally agree with what you are saying. The story needs plots or subplots that are so engaging, the reader can't put the book down.
And the writing has to be good. Between being a good crafter of words and good with plots and scenes and developing awesome characters, it's a full time job. LOL Reviewing is difficult, but we learn by doing it as well as writing. That's the good part of it all. Nice work. Drew xx
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you so much Drew for the detailed crit and of course the six stars. I'm glad I've had your support all along.
Comment from Fridayauthor
Once again, an interesting and enjoyable read, one that was very well written.
The piece makes you think which is always annoying. It's so much easier to ignore the rules for success and just write along... Oh, now I have to go back and do it right.
So annoying...
Thanks!
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Once again, an interesting and enjoyable read, one that was very well written.
The piece makes you think which is always annoying. It's so much easier to ignore the rules for success and just write along... Oh, now I have to go back and do it right.
So annoying...
Thanks!
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thanks, Ray! Didn't mean to get you pissed at yourself! LOL, I really enjoyed your crit!
Comment from justafan
Jay you are everything I was told you would be. Honest, funny and caring about the craft. This series seals it for me. I wonder if you did your magic on my Sarah Smiles story? I will check. Well done.. I am a big fan!!
Justafan
Missy
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Jay you are everything I was told you would be. Honest, funny and caring about the craft. This series seals it for me. I wonder if you did your magic on my Sarah Smiles story? I will check. Well done.. I am a big fan!!
Justafan
Missy
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 11-May-2015
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Thank you, Missy. You really honor me with your comments. I didn't even know people were talking about me. At least some of it was good. And, you're not THAT big. I think you're just right.