Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "The End of the Road(trip)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
28 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Superior writing, of course. This makes me think back to all the wasted sixes passed out like Halloween candy.
"Hey! That's MY line!" - Too bad there's not a generally accepted practice of emphasizing a word in dialogue. I've used single quotes, seen double quotes, and use italics when allowed, and of course all caps. To me, all caps also implies a raised voice (which applies in your usage).
This would be the equal (or better) of my Clyde dilemma of alternate endings - what if Rebekah chose differently? (stardom, met Mr. Right, wrote heart-rending simple tunes, changed the world with songs of peace?)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Superior writing, of course. This makes me think back to all the wasted sixes passed out like Halloween candy.
"Hey! That's MY line!" - Too bad there's not a generally accepted practice of emphasizing a word in dialogue. I've used single quotes, seen double quotes, and use italics when allowed, and of course all caps. To me, all caps also implies a raised voice (which applies in your usage).
This would be the equal (or better) of my Clyde dilemma of alternate endings - what if Rebekah chose differently? (stardom, met Mr. Right, wrote heart-rending simple tunes, changed the world with songs of peace?)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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"What if's." They can really mess with a person's head, right? I really appreciate all the thought that goes into your reviews. They're never "surface." You always think about the many levels of a story, this one, included, and it makes your reviews more meaningful. Thank you for having sustained the roadtrip with us. Gretchen and I are both very appreciative. xoxox
Comment from Jacob1395
I loved this closing chapter, Rachelle and it has been really good reading everyone's version of events as well, it's definitely been very entertaining. I loved writing my version as well. An excellent piece.
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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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I loved this closing chapter, Rachelle and it has been really good reading everyone's version of events as well, it's definitely been very entertaining. I loved writing my version as well. An excellent piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Thanks very much, Jacob, and thanks, too, for having been part of the book. Your chapter added so much fun to the festivities! xoxox
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent end to your book. Everyone had a wonderful time following through, and joining in, this fun and creative journey. Very well written throughout.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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An excellent end to your book. Everyone had a wonderful time following through, and joining in, this fun and creative journey. Very well written throughout.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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We made FS history together, all of us, and it meant the world to Gretchen and me to have you along. Thank you for having been such a loyal reader from Day One, Wendy. I couldn't appreciate it more. xoxox
Comment from Begin Again
What a glorious ending for a wonderful journey! I truly enjoyed every moment of it. I'm sure you and Gretchen and all the Fabstorians will have memories to laugh and cry about for a life-time. Well done!
Though you could have left one adjective out! (septuagenarian) It felt like the deer in headlights announcing dementia! LOL Just kidding..age doesn't mean much to mean any more, not as long as I can write.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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What a glorious ending for a wonderful journey! I truly enjoyed every moment of it. I'm sure you and Gretchen and all the Fabstorians will have memories to laugh and cry about for a life-time. Well done!
Though you could have left one adjective out! (septuagenarian) It felt like the deer in headlights announcing dementia! LOL Just kidding..age doesn't mean much to mean any more, not as long as I can write.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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I know; I considered dropping that adjective, but if we do put this in print, Carol, the world-wide readers need to have a clear view of the picture. And, hey, you WERE the one who opened that door in the first place. Thanks for being along with Gretchen and me on this wild ride since Chapter One. I appreciated all your support and wonderful reviews. xoxox
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It doesn't bother me, Rachelle. I've put those years to good use and stand proud. And I know that the highway to more adventures await. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
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LOVE the attitude!!!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Firstly Rachelle, I am honoured that you allowed me to accompany you on this trip, what a treat for an Englishwoman to be invited to this Amish community and experience it first hand, and what wonderful company I had too with Diane, Gretchen, Maria and yourself! This is an entertaining read and your generosity towards Maria will never be forgotten. Your story has turned out to be the most entertaining venture I have ever read on Fanstory, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Firstly Rachelle, I am honoured that you allowed me to accompany you on this trip, what a treat for an Englishwoman to be invited to this Amish community and experience it first hand, and what wonderful company I had too with Diane, Gretchen, Maria and yourself! This is an entertaining read and your generosity towards Maria will never be forgotten. Your story has turned out to be the most entertaining venture I have ever read on Fanstory, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Well, you have certainly started MY Sunday off on the best possible note. What a lovely review and compliment. It's been WONDERFUL having you along since Day One, Dolly. Your reviews were always so encouraging and warm. Thank you for making me feel like I brought you joy. It was mutual. xoxox
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You are most welcome Rachelle, you and Gretchen are amazing writers who produce quality work x x x
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I love you for those words, Dolly. Thank you. They mean the world to me. Xo
Comment from marilyn quillen
Fantastic everything, thank you so much for the song. It was the perfect touch. great story, fantastic writing, some of the best storytelling I have read so far and everyone knows it take a good story teller u be a good writer and you are it!
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Fantastic everything, thank you so much for the song. It was the perfect touch. great story, fantastic writing, some of the best storytelling I have read so far and everyone knows it take a good story teller u be a good writer and you are it!
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Marilyn, so very much! I could not appreciate these words more. This song is near and dear to my heart. A voice student of mine and I did this one year for her Senior recital (at her request), and so I've always cherished it. I appreciate that you found it the "perfect touch" here, as well. That means the world. xoxox
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Love the comparison of brown tracks down the side of the nose to dirt bike riders. Good imagery.
That Gretchen knows how to party! Under a table stuffing in meatballs and swilling booze out of a bottle:-)
To be clear, her recital would have taken place before a larger audience, but because she is returning home it is being presented at Maria's so that she might, at least, have the experience. Is that right?
Another great line: The drive to Lancaster is pensive, like the feeling in a hospital room before someone is wheeled away for open-heart surgery.
Ah, yes, the corn cobs - thanks for the visual reminder of one of the high points of comedy in your story.
This has been a very, very well executed story, made more interesting by the two-perspective way you and Gretchen have tackled it. I'll miss reading it each week.
It has the ending it was meant to have. I have one suggestion: an epilogue featuring Jane the Baby Babies. What happened to her after she was taken out of the food fight and into custody. Does she vow revenge? Or go quietly into the night?
Not sure how you top this one, Allen.
xoxo
Pam
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Love the comparison of brown tracks down the side of the nose to dirt bike riders. Good imagery.
That Gretchen knows how to party! Under a table stuffing in meatballs and swilling booze out of a bottle:-)
To be clear, her recital would have taken place before a larger audience, but because she is returning home it is being presented at Maria's so that she might, at least, have the experience. Is that right?
Another great line: The drive to Lancaster is pensive, like the feeling in a hospital room before someone is wheeled away for open-heart surgery.
Ah, yes, the corn cobs - thanks for the visual reminder of one of the high points of comedy in your story.
This has been a very, very well executed story, made more interesting by the two-perspective way you and Gretchen have tackled it. I'll miss reading it each week.
It has the ending it was meant to have. I have one suggestion: an epilogue featuring Jane the Baby Babies. What happened to her after she was taken out of the food fight and into custody. Does she vow revenge? Or go quietly into the night?
Not sure how you top this one, Allen.
xoxo
Pam
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Oh, you're just being nice now because you don't want that dress to come back to you with holes where your (perky) nips go...
Yes, you're right; the four of us are there in that big recital hall because Rebecca was leaving "for good." But Maria wanted her to have the experience of performing.
No epilogue for Jane. None of us cares what has become of that horrible woman. We're all just glad it doesn't include anything in our lives!!
Thanks for the really nice review. xo
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Rachelle,
Wow! You sure know how to end a story gal. I'm sad on the one hand that it's over, but as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. I was surprised, but pleasantly so, that Rebekah found where she wanted to be, and it's a pretty darn good place at that. I wish I could give you two sixes. This was really outstanding gal. It was so much fun to read. I hope you two artists collaborate again in the not too distant future. I'm so glad I was able to join you for the ride. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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Hello Rachelle,
Wow! You sure know how to end a story gal. I'm sad on the one hand that it's over, but as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. I was surprised, but pleasantly so, that Rebekah found where she wanted to be, and it's a pretty darn good place at that. I wish I could give you two sixes. This was really outstanding gal. It was so much fun to read. I hope you two artists collaborate again in the not too distant future. I'm so glad I was able to join you for the ride. Well done my friend.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2024
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I'm sad, too, Tom; I know what you're saying. But I'm happy that it had a happy ending for everyone - maybe even Jane; who knows (or CAAAAAAARES, right?!)
Thanks for this absolutely beautiful review. I could not appreciate it more. Thanks, too, for being so loyal about reading these chapters each week. It was wonderful to have you along for the "ride."
xoxoxo