Deal
5-7-5 Poem28 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, as she forgives him, but if he hits you once, it's easier for him to hit you again, and again, and the cycle continues, until he kills you or you leave. Good luck with this contest entry.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, as she forgives him, but if he hits you once, it's easier for him to hit you again, and again, and the cycle continues, until he kills you or you leave. Good luck with this contest entry.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thanks, Barbara.
Yes, it is sad and far too common.
Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!
Steve
Comment from lyenochka
I don't know how to view this "Deal". If the poem represents a cycle that continues, I think that heart that "swells with love" should lovingly get away from him unless he really reforms!
Great way to tell a story in just three lines. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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I don't know how to view this "Deal". If the poem represents a cycle that continues, I think that heart that "swells with love" should lovingly get away from him unless he really reforms!
Great way to tell a story in just three lines. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thanks, Helen. Your instincts are right.
Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!
Steve
Comment from gansach
This is a good entry for the 3 line poetry competition. It presents a sad fact of life in many cases~after anger and abuse comes remorse and empty promises that it will never happen again, fooling the victim into believing and forgiving, opening the door to further abuse. Well done!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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This is a good entry for the 3 line poetry competition. It presents a sad fact of life in many cases~after anger and abuse comes remorse and empty promises that it will never happen again, fooling the victim into believing and forgiving, opening the door to further abuse. Well done!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thanks.
Yes, it is sad and far too common.
Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!
Steve
Comment from Tom Horonzy
As bet expressed as might be with only three lines of poetry. Unsure if it was a spousal abuse or perhaps demeaning a child but your few words encapsulates the wrong done.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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As bet expressed as might be with only three lines of poetry. Unsure if it was a spousal abuse or perhaps demeaning a child but your few words encapsulates the wrong done.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thanks, Tom.
Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!
Steve
Comment from Begin Again
Sad and heartbreaking! The man who can't control his temper and the woman who can't control her heart. The scene is an ever-repeating one, and there can't be a happy ending.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Sad and heartbreaking! The man who can't control his temper and the woman who can't control her heart. The scene is an ever-repeating one, and there can't be a happy ending.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thanks, Carol.
Yes, it is sad and far too common.
Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!
Steve
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This sounds like a typical co-dependant relationship. He hits her and begs forgiveness while she covers the bruises and her heart swells with love all over again over and over until one day she either leaves him or he kills her by hitting her too hard one way or another it continues until it stops with no love left for either one.
This is a sad, sad situation.
Jesse
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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This sounds like a typical co-dependant relationship. He hits her and begs forgiveness while she covers the bruises and her heart swells with love all over again over and over until one day she either leaves him or he kills her by hitting her too hard one way or another it continues until it stops with no love left for either one.
This is a sad, sad situation.
Jesse
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2024
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Thanks, Jesse.
Yes, it is sad and far too common.
Surprisingly (to me) several reviewers managed to convince themselves that this poem portrayed a happy ending!
Steve
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Those readers must be co-dependant themselves.
Go figure.
Jesse
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Glad you got it fixed. That really packs a punch. No pun intended...well maybe intended a little bit. Unfortunately it speaks of so many women who will continue to take the abuse after the first time it happens. Fixed your stars as well. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Glad you got it fixed. That really packs a punch. No pun intended...well maybe intended a little bit. Unfortunately it speaks of so many women who will continue to take the abuse after the first time it happens. Fixed your stars as well. Great job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thanks for alerting me. That would be because the poem hasn't been posted yet - or certainly not released!
For the record the poem should read:
He begs forgiveness.
As she covers the bruises
her heart swells with love.
I'll get it fixed now.
Steve
Comment from tfawcus
This one packs a punch and not just metaphorically. What a tragic and all too common state of affairs. Your short poem is full of significance. Good luck with it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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This one packs a punch and not just metaphorically. What a tragic and all too common state of affairs. Your short poem is full of significance. Good luck with it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thanks for alerting me. That would be because the poem hasn't been posted yet - or certainly not released!
For the record the poem should read:
He begs forgiveness.
As she covers the bruises
her heart swells with love.
I'll get it fixed now.
Steve
