Last Flight of the Red Baron.
Thinking about history.81 total reviews
Comment from bonespur
This seems like a good candidate for the contest. The structure and rhyming scheme seems good, and the subject matter interesting. Good job and good luck. Have a blessed day
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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This seems like a good candidate for the contest. The structure and rhyming scheme seems good, and the subject matter interesting. Good job and good luck. Have a blessed day
Comment Written 01-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Well, thank you bonespur. I really appreciate your review!
Comment from lancellot
It is a good story of the Red Barron's final fight and flight. I not sure if this is meant to be rhymed or free verse, as the rhyme scheme isn't consistent from beginning to end. Also, I think that lack of capitalization and sentence punctuation makes it difficult to know where some sentences begin or end.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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It is a good story of the Red Barron's final fight and flight. I not sure if this is meant to be rhymed or free verse, as the rhyme scheme isn't consistent from beginning to end. Also, I think that lack of capitalization and sentence punctuation makes it difficult to know where some sentences begin or end.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
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Well, thank you lancellot for your review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed this interesting and well researched post about this plane and you created an imaginative poem out of your day dreaming here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed this interesting and well researched post about this plane and you created an imaginative poem out of your day dreaming here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Dolly. I really appreciate your review!
Comment from forestport12
I love the details from history in this and how you weaved a poetic justice to the story of his final moments. It was a teachable moment in a well-crafted poem in history made alive once again, thanks to you.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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I love the details from history in this and how you weaved a poetic justice to the story of his final moments. It was a teachable moment in a well-crafted poem in history made alive once again, thanks to you.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you forestport12. I really appreciate the review and kind words!
Comment from GWHARGIS
Every time I hear about the Red Barron, I always think of that Christmas song, Snoopy and the red Barron. I had no idea what actually happened to the red barron. What a terrible way to go, but it was war and war is hell. This was very entertaining and informative. Well done. Gretchen
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Every time I hear about the Red Barron, I always think of that Christmas song, Snoopy and the red Barron. I had no idea what actually happened to the red barron. What a terrible way to go, but it was war and war is hell. This was very entertaining and informative. Well done. Gretchen
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2024
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Thank you again Gretchen for a good review. I really do appreciate that!
Comment from pome lover
Poor Baron. Sounds like you saw a movie about them. Those were the days of flying by the seat of their pants, all right. good descriptions.
In the 6th line up from the bottom, I believe you mean barrel rolls.
Congratulations on All Time Best,
Katharine
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Poor Baron. Sounds like you saw a movie about them. Those were the days of flying by the seat of their pants, all right. good descriptions.
In the 6th line up from the bottom, I believe you mean barrel rolls.
Congratulations on All Time Best,
Katharine
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Katharine for your review and insight. I appreciate that!
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you're most welcome.
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Thank you!
Comment from Douglas Goff
I knew the Red Baron was killed in aerial battle. Was he actually shot in the face? Just goes to show that you can only push it so far before fate catches up with you.
I have to admit. I like Snoopy's version better. Ha! Just kidding. Great job, Harry!
D
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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I knew the Red Baron was killed in aerial battle. Was he actually shot in the face? Just goes to show that you can only push it so far before fate catches up with you.
I have to admit. I like Snoopy's version better. Ha! Just kidding. Great job, Harry!
D
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Thanks Douglas for your review. I appreciate that!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Harry,
Your historic poem does a great job of delving into the last battle of the Red Baron. I'll admit I rarely relive battles in my daydreams, but I'm pretty sure my father did. I'm glad you shared it with us, it was very exciting.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Hi Harry,
Your historic poem does a great job of delving into the last battle of the Red Baron. I'll admit I rarely relive battles in my daydreams, but I'm pretty sure my father did. I'm glad you shared it with us, it was very exciting.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 29-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Rhonda. I really appreciate the review!
Comment from bob cullen
Reminded me of that old Red Baron song of the sixties. Fabulous idea and it flowed rather well. I wish I could daydream this well. One thing I can tell you, the more you try, the better you get. Keep at it.
On reconsideration, I believe this deserves a six, but sorry I only have fives left.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Reminded me of that old Red Baron song of the sixties. Fabulous idea and it flowed rather well. I wish I could daydream this well. One thing I can tell you, the more you try, the better you get. Keep at it.
On reconsideration, I believe this deserves a six, but sorry I only have fives left.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Well, thank you Bob. I really appreciate that. Yes, the Lettermen had a song about the Red Baron some time in the 1960's. I really appreciate your review!
Comment from BermyBye50
Harry,
Welcome to Fanstory. This is a good rhyming poem that tells the story of the Red Barron. The rhyming is excellent in the first stanza except for the lines 5 and 6. The same occurs in the second stanza for the first four lines except for lines 5, 6 and 7. The third stanza's rhyming is excellent except for lines 5 and 6. And the same is true for the first half of the fourth stanza except for lines 6 and 8.
Here are a few suggestions:
With a spin of the speedy propeller,
The engine sputters and starts to hum,
The German pilot's uniform is stellar,
The blood-red Fokker's time has come.
As it lurches forward, rolling fast,
the blood-red Fokker triplane shudders,
it leans into the sky and races past,
as he adjusts its trustworthy rudder.
Baron Von Richthofen once again soars,
he stares into the clouds as if in a trance,
seeking a lone flier to increase his score,
as he flies o'er the battlefield of France.
He scans the clouds, seeking his prey,
a British Sopwith Camel cuts the air,
with Ace Roy Brown on the hunt today,
guns blaze and tear the sky's thin layer.
Richthofen shoves the stick forward,
pushing the triplane into a steep dive,
increasing speed and moving onward,
like bees fleeing from a burning hive.
His triplane speeds, a furious race,
Richthofen dives in steep descent,
the Sopwith closes in a deadly chase,
firing bursts of bullets quickly spent.
Tearing into the fuselage of the plane,
The triplane twists in frantic flight,
But every roll, every move's in vain,
As bullets tear through red in spite.
One fatal shot strikes Baron's face,
His burning triplane quickly descends,
Spiraling from the sky's embrace,
The Red Baron never to rise again.
All the best,
BermyBye50
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
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Harry,
Welcome to Fanstory. This is a good rhyming poem that tells the story of the Red Barron. The rhyming is excellent in the first stanza except for the lines 5 and 6. The same occurs in the second stanza for the first four lines except for lines 5, 6 and 7. The third stanza's rhyming is excellent except for lines 5 and 6. And the same is true for the first half of the fourth stanza except for lines 6 and 8.
Here are a few suggestions:
With a spin of the speedy propeller,
The engine sputters and starts to hum,
The German pilot's uniform is stellar,
The blood-red Fokker's time has come.
As it lurches forward, rolling fast,
the blood-red Fokker triplane shudders,
it leans into the sky and races past,
as he adjusts its trustworthy rudder.
Baron Von Richthofen once again soars,
he stares into the clouds as if in a trance,
seeking a lone flier to increase his score,
as he flies o'er the battlefield of France.
He scans the clouds, seeking his prey,
a British Sopwith Camel cuts the air,
with Ace Roy Brown on the hunt today,
guns blaze and tear the sky's thin layer.
Richthofen shoves the stick forward,
pushing the triplane into a steep dive,
increasing speed and moving onward,
like bees fleeing from a burning hive.
His triplane speeds, a furious race,
Richthofen dives in steep descent,
the Sopwith closes in a deadly chase,
firing bursts of bullets quickly spent.
Tearing into the fuselage of the plane,
The triplane twists in frantic flight,
But every roll, every move's in vain,
As bullets tear through red in spite.
One fatal shot strikes Baron's face,
His burning triplane quickly descends,
Spiraling from the sky's embrace,
The Red Baron never to rise again.
All the best,
BermyBye50
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2024
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Hmmm, interesting!