My Day Off From Work
Jackson to the rescue24 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi John,
This is a fun little piece and comes across very well. great day.
A couple bits & pieces but very minor-
Skies are blue, not a cloud in site. - should be sight?
bogie-board surfing, - I think it may be boogie-board...
and brought her home for lunch (my wife works 3/4 of a mile from home),- should probably be a period at the end here rather than a comma.
Ages appeared from five to eight and they were sister - sisters?
so he wouldn't get to far in front. - too far.
My kind said stop but my heart told me to go for it. - My mind?
All the best
G
Hi John,
This is a fun little piece and comes across very well. great day.
A couple bits & pieces but very minor-
Skies are blue, not a cloud in site. - should be sight?
bogie-board surfing, - I think it may be boogie-board...
and brought her home for lunch (my wife works 3/4 of a mile from home),- should probably be a period at the end here rather than a comma.
Ages appeared from five to eight and they were sister - sisters?
so he wouldn't get to far in front. - too far.
My kind said stop but my heart told me to go for it. - My mind?
All the best
G
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
Comment from Wendy G
Love your story - and you made beautiful memories for both of you. They are exhausting, but fun, and I am sure you slept well that night, and could relax at work the next day! Lol. Nice one.
Wendy
Love your story - and you made beautiful memories for both of you. They are exhausting, but fun, and I am sure you slept well that night, and could relax at work the next day! Lol. Nice one.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
Comment from iDri.Luv.Jesus
I like how your opening started. The story line is not boring; especially, the bagels talk - super yum! I used to operate a bagel shop, and the bakery aroma was to died for! Nothing is more fun than taking a day off from work, and congrats to it.
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I like how your opening started. The story line is not boring; especially, the bagels talk - super yum! I used to operate a bagel shop, and the bakery aroma was to died for! Nothing is more fun than taking a day off from work, and congrats to it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Oh how I loved this story. I feel like I was right there with you. What a perfect day that Jackson will treasure forever. He is lucky to have an active, attentive Poppa because it is a blessing that so many kids do not. Thanks for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Oh how I loved this story. I feel like I was right there with you. What a perfect day that Jackson will treasure forever. He is lucky to have an active, attentive Poppa because it is a blessing that so many kids do not. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2024