Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Chapter 14 C"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

32 total reviews 
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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I really like the way this story has opened out now and we have Mateo in the mix, complicating emotions still more. We needed a break from the claustrophobia of the safe house and this addition to your story is an excellent one. Well done, Barbara, for providing this new dimension full of potential. Small edit below:
He ran his hands (through) his short hair
Thanks for sharing. Debbie

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024
    I have made that correction. Thank you for the catch and the kind review.
Comment from Lindsey Russell
Excellent
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This is a wonderful storyline. I hope I get to read more in the future. One thing to point out. The line "I'm impossible, feisty, obstinate, frustrating, and rewrite rules. Oh yes, her highness. Are they bad things?" I had to go back and reread the "oh yes, her highness " part to understand what was being said. Other than than that perfect

Suggestion: "oh yes, and I like being called her highness."

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Bu Sami doesn't like being called her highness. Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
reply by Lindsey Russell on 07-Jul-2024
    Maybe say oh yes, I don't like being called her highness. Just a suggestion. I just had to read it more than once. Still love it. Best wishes!
Comment from jim vecchio
Excellent
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Thanks for Skeeter and the continuation of your tale. Noah and Sami's relationship was very well defined in this chapter. Sounds like Matteo may have a lot of fun ahead of him, besides risky business. Will he find the girl of his dreams?

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Not sure if Mateo does find the girl he wants, besides Sami. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by jim vecchio on 07-Jul-2024
    Poor lonely playboy.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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Some parts of this story don't add up for me. Why would Noah bring this guy Mateo into this set up after he threatens to kill him over Sami? Why is Sami being so coquettish with this guy when she feels he is only out to make her a trophy wife? Why would Mateo get involved with all this dangerous stuff involving human traffickers, with someone he regards as his rival? There's plenty of tension, but the lighthearted dialogue in spots seems to diffuse it. There's ;love in the air, but also manipulation. Sami in some spots seems quite independent, but also a flirt and at times vulnerable. That could be plausible, but here it just seem to add up. I don't know. Maybe this isn't quite my cup of tea. estory

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    I'm sorry you feel this way. Sami is very complicated. Mateo is doing this because of Sami. Noah knows the only way to get to Chen is through this escort services. He's will to do anything to get Chen. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a sweet chapter. Noah is in love, isn't he? Although he's reluctant to admit it. I so enjoy reading this. I'm looking out for what's next.
As you know, I'm writing for the Write a Book in a Month. A new chapter is out, but I can't afford it to pay as usual as I write every other day.
Beyond Redemption will be out next Sunday. Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I can't wait to read the next installments of both.
Comment from Steve Foreman
Excellent
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This is a gripping tale that holds my interest. It is a bit off-the-wall and intriguing, and not sure where it is going.
Very dialogue-driven, which is refreshing. Well done,

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Uh oh. Things are heating up. You could even say as the rapper Nellie might, "It's gettin' hot in here!" Love, real love will be denied just so much. At some point in time, action is demanded. Who can predict what will happen next.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
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Hi, barbara. I hope you are well.

And, so the saga continues. It doesn't sound like you're even close to being finished with this. There's still so much left to do. They still have to break up the ring and rescue Myra and all the while keeping Sami safe.

I got the feeling that Sami did have some feelings for Mateo. But she can't act on them because he's a playboy and he would be cheating their whole marriage

I think maybe Noah is getting way too close to her and it's affecting his judgment

I'm assuming that after the case is over Sami and Noah get together

Here it should be he

" perfectly with Jasper. I understand him and Sami come as a team. "

I enjoyed reading your chapter

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Thank you for the kind review and 'him' is correct. Noah and Sami have so much to work through.
reply by Pamusart on 07-Jul-2024
    But, Barbara. Him is not correct. You would not say him come, would you? He is part of the subject not some kind of object
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    But you would not say, I understand he. and that is the main point. This one is confusing. I see what you're saying.
reply by Pamusart on 07-Jul-2024
    He and Sami are the subject in this backwards sentence

    You would not say him
    Sami come as a team

    I think a perfect solution is to add a ?that?

    I understand that he and Sami

    Without ?that? it is still implied
reply by Pamusart on 07-Jul-2024
    He and Sami are the subject in this backwards sentence

    You would not say him
    Sami come as a team

    I think a perfect solution is to add a ?that?

    I understand that he and Sami

    Without ?that? it is still implied
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    That's a great idea. I will add the that.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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I think both Sami and Noah have storg feeling an bot of them seem to have trouble controlling them. It seem they are forever hurting each other. Of couse love can be like that until the are in a firmer relationship. They seem to always be doubting each other.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. Noah and Sami have so much to work through.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a really good chapter. This showed that Noah is starting to cave on his resolve to keep things professional. He acted petty and very real in his jealousy of Mateo. Then he got the scolding from Sarah. She's becoming one of my favorite characters. Great chapter. Gretchen

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. Noah and Sami have so much to work through.