Dilly-Dot The Daisy
Searching for the spring.29 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
Best wishes for your contest entry. Poem for a Child. I think children would appreciate learning about Daisy.
You have gathered a mottley lot of characters (which children love) the rhyming is perfect and the ending worth a clap. K XX
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Best wishes for your contest entry. Poem for a Child. I think children would appreciate learning about Daisy.
You have gathered a mottley lot of characters (which children love) the rhyming is perfect and the ending worth a clap. K XX
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Aussie.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
What a sweet poem that is a perfect entry for the Poem for a Child contest. Beautiful descriptive passages and written toward a child's understanding and interest. Very nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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What a sweet poem that is a perfect entry for the Poem for a Child contest. Beautiful descriptive passages and written toward a child's understanding and interest. Very nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Marilyn.
Comment from Shanbreen
I love this poem for children. I can see how little kids could get engrossed in it waiting for what's next. It's so refreshing and the advice to the children about what to do when they come across a daisy on the ground is priceless. Best for the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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I love this poem for children. I can see how little kids could get engrossed in it waiting for what's next. It's so refreshing and the advice to the children about what to do when they come across a daisy on the ground is priceless. Best for the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Michele Harber
This is wonderful and, if you haven't already, you should consider sending it to a children's book publisher. The story is charming, and features wonderful, child-positive themes of friendship, family, and never giving up.
Your rhymes are charming, and your meter nearly perfect. The only part that bothered me was:
With every bit of strength their tired bodies could afford,
they hurried, hopped and scurried, all the three of them, towards
The second line throws the rhythm off a bit. You might want to consider, "they hurried, hopped and scurried, and directly headed toward ..."
I hope this is helpful. Good luck in the contest. I suspect you have an excellent chance at winning.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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This is wonderful and, if you haven't already, you should consider sending it to a children's book publisher. The story is charming, and features wonderful, child-positive themes of friendship, family, and never giving up.
Your rhymes are charming, and your meter nearly perfect. The only part that bothered me was:
With every bit of strength their tired bodies could afford,
they hurried, hopped and scurried, all the three of them, towards
The second line throws the rhythm off a bit. You might want to consider, "they hurried, hopped and scurried, and directly headed toward ..."
I hope this is helpful. Good luck in the contest. I suspect you have an excellent chance at winning.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Hi Michele, thank you for your generous and considered review. I truly appreciate it :).
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You?re welcome. I truly enjoyed your story.
Comment from nomi338
This is a perfect telling of a delightful story fit to be read to children, no matter their country of origin, their ethnicity, or even their age really. I am a man 81 years of age and I enjoyed this story as much as I imagine a child of 3 or 43 would. Outstanding!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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This is a perfect telling of a delightful story fit to be read to children, no matter their country of origin, their ethnicity, or even their age really. I am a man 81 years of age and I enjoyed this story as much as I imagine a child of 3 or 43 would. Outstanding!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Hi Nomi, Thank you so much for your very generous review.
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I would love to write a children's story as well as the one you wrote. I would be so proud of myself, I might put it in a book.
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My sister keeps nagging me saying I should make a book of it. Maybe, who knows :)
Comment from zanya
Aw-w-w what an entertaining and superb poem - what little one wouldn't love this journey of the Daisy going on a mission to locate the elusive Spring season- what an enjoyable read
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Aw-w-w what an entertaining and superb poem - what little one wouldn't love this journey of the Daisy going on a mission to locate the elusive Spring season- what an enjoyable read
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Zanya :)
Comment from Douglas Goff
Beetles eat flowers and toads eat beetles....so
Ha! Couldn't help myself!
Seriously, cute poem. A most enjoyable read! Good luck in the Children's competition.
D
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Beetles eat flowers and toads eat beetles....so
Ha! Couldn't help myself!
Seriously, cute poem. A most enjoyable read! Good luck in the Children's competition.
D
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Haha, yes Douglas, I left out the cannibalism for nightmare avoidance reasons :) :). Thank you :)
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Ha!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Superb! A charming verse with lovely, imaginative characters and a tale that we can definitely relate to here in the UK about finding the elusive spring. I like those colloquial expressions such as "What the heck." But my favourite is the toad's "be-blowed." All designed to delight young children (as well as much older ones!) One small edit: too many 'bes' in the 4th line of the 4th stanza. Well done, Shirley, and good luck! Debbie
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Superb! A charming verse with lovely, imaginative characters and a tale that we can definitely relate to here in the UK about finding the elusive spring. I like those colloquial expressions such as "What the heck." But my favourite is the toad's "be-blowed." All designed to delight young children (as well as much older ones!) One small edit: too many 'bes' in the 4th line of the 4th stanza. Well done, Shirley, and good luck! Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Debbie.
Comment from nancyjam
Oh this is a delightful entry for the "Poem for a Child" contest.
The images are fun and the rhyming and meter well crafted.
I'm sure children as well as adults would enjoy it, Good luck in the contest.
Nancy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Oh this is a delightful entry for the "Poem for a Child" contest.
The images are fun and the rhyming and meter well crafted.
I'm sure children as well as adults would enjoy it, Good luck in the contest.
Nancy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Nancy.