Reviews from

Acrostic (my pain inside)

A Site Contest Entry

29 total reviews 
Comment from Jill D
Excellent
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I find it hard enough to write a poem let alone a certain type of poem, 'Acrostic' poem in this case but when you produce something as beautiful and emotional as this while keeping within conformity it's such a talent!
All the best!
Jill:)

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you, Jill, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
reply by Jill D on 31-May-2024
    You're welcome:)
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Excellent
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This poem is so heartfelt. I feel your pain in your words. How true your words are that love for someone can be hard to overcome. Well written. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you very much for your wonderful and encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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I am unsure what the cause may have been but the effect seemingly is everafter, It came on a day, the night after my daughter called, and said her husband loves her but is no longer "in love." And this a few days after their fourth anniversary.

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you, Tom, sorry to bring up sad memories, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
reply by Tom Horonzy on 30-May-2024
    In the long run it may be a blessing. At least there is no child involved.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
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First sentence: time's release instead of times

That last line really says it all: entombed I am within my truth. This loss seems to have taken away your narrator's life. An emotional read and those emotions are well expressed in this acrostic.

Very nice overall presentation, as well.

Good luck in the contest.

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you, Pam, for your very encouraging and helpful have corrected) comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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Nicely done and I forgot it was an acrostic until the end. My favourite stanza is the third when the syntax really shines and the emotion is more fluent. That heart in the image is so embedded and needing to be freed up. Well done and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from bob cullen
Excellent
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Nicely written. I 'think' I picked up on one rather minor error. In the first line, I think 'times' should be 'time's.' I understand this may be considered petty nit-picking. But I'm pointing it out so you can correct it.

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you, Bob, for your wonderful comments, and help, have corrected, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from June Sargent
Excellent
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It's difficult enough to write an acrostic that makes sense, but to include rhymes is an amazing feat. This poem is poignant and sad, but real. Love's agony and ecstasy are captured well.

 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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The trouble is we cannot possess our own truth, Christ is the truth, the only thing in Heaven and Earth that is, this is a great Acrostic, it is a classic among the acrostics I've seen, we could be entombed within or or version of the truth, well.done, beautifully written, blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you, Roy, for this very understanding review and encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
reply by royowen on 30-May-2024
    Most welcome
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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This feels so sad. Something happened to end a deep relationship but the narrator keeps his vow and continues to love despite the unexpected end. The devotion continues even if not reciprocated. I really liked "Entombed I am within my truth".

Never accepting loves demise (love's)

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 Comment Written 30-May-2024


reply by the author on 30-May-2024
    Thank you for your wonderful comments and help, I thought I had this one, I'm back home with mom, I think the weather gets me thinking this way, as always very much appreciated****kahpot