Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Willing Hearts Chapter 9"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

34 total reviews 
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A great but continually mysterious read. Quite a few possible spags, sorry.
Not sure about the following? I'd be happy to[o]?.

Either..."I'm guess(ing) that's right.

OR "I['m] guess that's right.

eyes a[d]verted to the floor,

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help and have made the changes.
Comment from DeboraDyess
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barbara, it's getting intense!

A couple of things to consider...t...
~ standing right here >>> standing right there?
~ One thing's for sure we know Boss won't budge. >> One thing's for sure we know -- Boss won't budge.
~Then why you are leaving?" >> The why are you leaving?
~"I'm guess that's right." >> I guess that's right
~What do to do with them, so our cover >> What to do with them so our cover
Great story!
When my daughter had a Great Dane, Ladybug had her own matress in the giant bathroom at their house. I swear that matress was better than what Steve and I have! lol. I'm enjoying thinking of Jasper as looking like Ladybug. :)
Thanks for sharing!
Blessings,
Deb

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate the help and have made the changes. Danes are great dogs. I grew up with one.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I hope that Sami is going to finally straighten out. I have been unhappy with her attitude. Hopefully that talk with Sarah will have done some good.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. The does do it's job. LOL
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An interesting chapter, but I'm not quite sure why she has jumped to the conclusion that Noah hates her, and even if he does why that would make her so angry and almost petulant. Maybe I just don't understand her reactions. But I still am enjoying the story and I am looking forward to seeing how their situation is resolved.
Wendy
Edit: "I'm guess ..." (Either "I guess" or "I'm guessing...", and a little earlier, you used "too" instead of "to".

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I have made the corrections. I'm happy you helped.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The hard men fall the hardest and it's for keeps. You write an entertaining story. I wonder what's after this one. I am impressed by you novelists. How you keep it all going and stay fresh. Karen :-)

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I have a very ornery muse. LOL
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 15-Apr-2024
    All I can say is, keep writing. Or, re post old ones .
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 15-Apr-2024
    Love your stuff. Karen
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sorry to be tardy in reviewing your nice story. I see you keep the same styl which is a very good write. You keep it interesting and easy to pick up and read . Good one Barb. Having good and bad days.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As always, Barbara.
You definitely give your readers the accurate feeling of the friction of the giving and the taking between your characters, Sami and Noah. Probably like in many relationships neither of them wants to take that first step, but both hope and pray the other one will. Great storyline making it seem so real. Thank you for sharing this with us. Looking forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The confusion between Noah and Sami continues with neither of them prepared to concede ground. You are handling the complexity of this relationship well.
Not sure if this is an idiom I'm unaware of a half mile on the Northside of the pond, but I'd have expected 'north side'.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. You're probably right. I'll fix that.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The tension builds up well here as Noah leaves to deal with an unknown threat. Sami, meanwhile, continues to feel guilty and unsure of Noah and seems to need a lot of convincing that, rather than hate her, he is actually falling in love. She doesn't seem to understand some of the complexities of emotions (or have the confidence to do so) and, instead sees them in quite a binary form. Maybe, soon, she'll start to understand.
Small edit: Are (you) implying my ego can't handle...
Another excellent chapter, Barbara. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I have made the correction and appreciate the catch.
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story is very well written your paragraphing, and your sentence structure are all very good. It was a pleasure to listen to as it was being read aloud. It moved along very smoothly. I wish you a very good week and I wish you the very best with all of your writing. Patricia

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.