Jonathan's Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Intermission"Our fostering journey with a severely disabled boy
32 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is hard to let go of our own children when they grow and become independent, but fostering a disabled child with multiple complex issues is an entirely different ball game Wendy. I can understand your concerns and your need to keep a constant vigil and it sounds like your scrutiny is not unfounded as I expect there is more to come in this story. A fine chapter Wendy, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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It is hard to let go of our own children when they grow and become independent, but fostering a disabled child with multiple complex issues is an entirely different ball game Wendy. I can understand your concerns and your need to keep a constant vigil and it sounds like your scrutiny is not unfounded as I expect there is more to come in this story. A fine chapter Wendy, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you Dolly for your super review. Yes, a lot more to come yet ... I appreciate your insight.
Wendy
Comment from Paul McFarland
Well, you squeezed out another six stars, Wendy. What hit me most was the honesty about yourself that you have shown the reader. Awaiting act three.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Well, you squeezed out another six stars, Wendy. What hit me most was the honesty about yourself that you have shown the reader. Awaiting act three.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you Paul. At the time, I was just so busy, but looking back it is easier to see what I could have done better - the wisdom of hindsight! I greatly appreciate the six stars - they are very special to me, and I didn't even have to twist your arm to get them. Lol. Thank you so much; they do indeed mean a lot.
Wendy
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This is an excellent summation of the lessons you learned about yourself and others as you navigated the care of Jonathan. I like that you felt he was loved and his love for you and your family was expressed by the happiness on his face.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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This is an excellent summation of the lessons you learned about yourself and others as you navigated the care of Jonathan. I like that you felt he was loved and his love for you and your family was expressed by the happiness on his face.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you Verna. Yes, there were rewards, and seeing him experience happiness and pleasure was definitely one of the rewards.
For him to know he was loved was very important to s all.
Wendy
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good morning, Wendy,
I have so "enjoyed" this journey you have elected to share with readers of your life with Jonathan and the love and caring you and your family have showered him. Of all the chapters, I found this one to be the most riveting in terms of your introspection of this experience.
I found this passage especially moving:
"Another lesson I quickly learned was that "experts" are not necessarily attuned to what is best for each individual - they have simply achieved well in an academic area, which may or may not be relevant to everyday life."
I agree wholeheartedly.
I do not agree, however, that you failed Jonathan in any way: you showed up, you cared, you gave of your time, heart, and spirit. In short, you loved/love Jonathan. He has enriched your life as you have most undoubtedly enriched... no... saved his...liife...
Thank you, Wendy... for everything... my life is enriched by knowing you and Jonathan...
Much appreciation,
Fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Good morning, Wendy,
I have so "enjoyed" this journey you have elected to share with readers of your life with Jonathan and the love and caring you and your family have showered him. Of all the chapters, I found this one to be the most riveting in terms of your introspection of this experience.
I found this passage especially moving:
"Another lesson I quickly learned was that "experts" are not necessarily attuned to what is best for each individual - they have simply achieved well in an academic area, which may or may not be relevant to everyday life."
I agree wholeheartedly.
I do not agree, however, that you failed Jonathan in any way: you showed up, you cared, you gave of your time, heart, and spirit. In short, you loved/love Jonathan. He has enriched your life as you have most undoubtedly enriched... no... saved his...liife...
Thank you, Wendy... for everything... my life is enriched by knowing you and Jonathan...
Much appreciation,
Fondly,
diane
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you for this beautiful and most encouraging review. It is enormously gratifying to know that your engagement with his story has enriched your life. I hope you will continue to read as his story unfolds, although it won't always be an enjoyable read.
Wendy
Comment from GWHARGIS
Oh, lordy. I'm getting those pangs of anxiety again. As for being a good mother, we all make mistakes. We were raised one way, it's all we know. We tweak things, throw some things out, embrace things that we remember from our own childhood and hope our own children will get happiness from these same things. It's a literal crap shoot. You hope and pray you are doing what's best for your children. I'm still in awe of this story. Gretchen
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Oh, lordy. I'm getting those pangs of anxiety again. As for being a good mother, we all make mistakes. We were raised one way, it's all we know. We tweak things, throw some things out, embrace things that we remember from our own childhood and hope our own children will get happiness from these same things. It's a literal crap shoot. You hope and pray you are doing what's best for your children. I'm still in awe of this story. Gretchen
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you Gretchen!! What you said is true - we only get one shot at being a mother, and at the time we are busy and just trying to do the best we can. Looking back it's easy to see where we could have done better. I hope you will continue to read and enjoy "Act Three", although perhaps "enjoy" is the wrong word., at least for some of the time. Thank you for the six stars - such an affirmation, such and encouragement to know I have support in writing this.
Wendy
Comment from Begin Again
My heart feels the stress, the love, the uncertainty. I see pieces of my John's life and our family and understand some of the emotions you were faced with. Like a roller coaster with all its ups, downs and chaotic twists.
We're having plumbing problems in John's bathroom so a few minutes ago I told him he could take a shower first, using mine. You'd have thought I'd given him the best Christmas gift ever. He hugged me and said I was the best mom and he loved me. It's those simple unexpected things that remind me how special he is..... don't get me wrong....he's difficult at times but has a heart of gold.
As for specialists...At four months old, every doctor had given up on him except one. He did an experimental surgery and gave John life. At four years, old, the doctors wanted me to put him in a home and get on with my life. I was 19, we were in the military, and in the 60's and 70's things were looked at differently. Thankfully, one doctor did not.
Like I said, the difficult times.... in the time I wrote this, John has come out of the bathroom bathed and dressed.... He's faster than a speeding bullet. I doubt he even got wet. I sent him back for a second try.
Sorry I got off on a tangent this morning. I just wanted you to know that you are very special and have gone far beyond what most people would do. I am sure Jonathan feels your love.
Smiles and hugs and love, Carol
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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My heart feels the stress, the love, the uncertainty. I see pieces of my John's life and our family and understand some of the emotions you were faced with. Like a roller coaster with all its ups, downs and chaotic twists.
We're having plumbing problems in John's bathroom so a few minutes ago I told him he could take a shower first, using mine. You'd have thought I'd given him the best Christmas gift ever. He hugged me and said I was the best mom and he loved me. It's those simple unexpected things that remind me how special he is..... don't get me wrong....he's difficult at times but has a heart of gold.
As for specialists...At four months old, every doctor had given up on him except one. He did an experimental surgery and gave John life. At four years, old, the doctors wanted me to put him in a home and get on with my life. I was 19, we were in the military, and in the 60's and 70's things were looked at differently. Thankfully, one doctor did not.
Like I said, the difficult times.... in the time I wrote this, John has come out of the bathroom bathed and dressed.... He's faster than a speeding bullet. I doubt he even got wet. I sent him back for a second try.
Sorry I got off on a tangent this morning. I just wanted you to know that you are very special and have gone far beyond what most people would do. I am sure Jonathan feels your love.
Smiles and hugs and love, Carol
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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So thankful that there were a couple of good doctors in your life, for your sake and for John's sake as well, and yes, despite the frustrations and difficulties, we love each one enormously. They do have hearts of gold, and there is no nastiness within them. Had to smile about John's speed of showering - just like a kid. But he won't forget that you let him use your bathroom. It'll be a cherished memory for him. Thank you so very much for your lovely review. Yes - a roller coaster describes things very well!
Wendy
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
An absolutely riveting chapter that deserves much more than I can give. It conveys in intelligent, superbly expressed and, evidently, deeply sincere prose Jonathan's story so far, the lessons learned and this hiatus which should be a celebratory closure of sorts. But can never be. The love and sense of responsibility remain but now the transition is into murkier waters of bureaucracy and real, aching (I'm sure) compassion for Jonathan's future happiness. Just when there was a chance that life might become simpler and less fraught. I really feel for you in this stage, Wendy. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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An absolutely riveting chapter that deserves much more than I can give. It conveys in intelligent, superbly expressed and, evidently, deeply sincere prose Jonathan's story so far, the lessons learned and this hiatus which should be a celebratory closure of sorts. But can never be. The love and sense of responsibility remain but now the transition is into murkier waters of bureaucracy and real, aching (I'm sure) compassion for Jonathan's future happiness. Just when there was a chance that life might become simpler and less fraught. I really feel for you in this stage, Wendy. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you Debbie for your very thoughtful and insightful review. Yes, this was a difficult process of adaptation, and life did not really become any simpler.
Wendy
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written.
It is not everyone, no, it is the rare one who is willing to publicly admit to personal failures or shortcomings. Your honesty is inspiring. As is your willingness to persist in doing the right thing.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Nicely written.
It is not everyone, no, it is the rare one who is willing to publicly admit to personal failures or shortcomings. Your honesty is inspiring. As is your willingness to persist in doing the right thing.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you Wayne. I appreciate your ongoing support, and constant encouragement.
Wendy
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Ten years! I knew you fostered him for a long time, but when I see it in years it brings a WOW! to my lips!
Of course, you bonded. How can you spend that many years with a human being and not feel something for them. If you had not felt something for him, the fostering would have ended much sooner.
"Without a voice, he remained vulnerable . . ." It seems so cruel that this is the case, because WE cannot always be trusted to make the right decisions for another. Especially when there is no bond and we have no skin in the game.
"then the stage was set when HE was born" (add he)
I love how you have presented this as a play with several acts, and we are at the intermission of the story. That analogy works here and is very creative.
You got this right: Those who sit and govern in ivory towers far too often have little empathy for those whose lives they regulate.
That sums up a lot of society's woes.
Wendy, I take it you are going to take a break before continuing what will most likely be a hard story to tell? Looking forward to reading whatever comes next.
xo
Pam
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Ten years! I knew you fostered him for a long time, but when I see it in years it brings a WOW! to my lips!
Of course, you bonded. How can you spend that many years with a human being and not feel something for them. If you had not felt something for him, the fostering would have ended much sooner.
"Without a voice, he remained vulnerable . . ." It seems so cruel that this is the case, because WE cannot always be trusted to make the right decisions for another. Especially when there is no bond and we have no skin in the game.
"then the stage was set when HE was born" (add he)
I love how you have presented this as a play with several acts, and we are at the intermission of the story. That analogy works here and is very creative.
You got this right: Those who sit and govern in ivory towers far too often have little empathy for those whose lives they regulate.
That sums up a lot of society's woes.
Wendy, I take it you are going to take a break before continuing what will most likely be a hard story to tell? Looking forward to reading whatever comes next.
xo
Pam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you very much Pam for your perceptive and insightful review - and for noticing that missing word. I must have read that paragraph five or six times, and didn?t notice. I?ll probably post again on Sunday. I have more chapters ready but the ones after that are hard to relive.
Thank you for your amazing support. You have no idea how much it means to me to have some regular reviewers who are interested in his story, and insightful, as well as being outstanding writers themselves who I can rely on for picking up details.
Wendy
Comment from royowen
You're right compassion has little to do with a well ordered, it's a case of compromise to do what's important. Sometimes practical pragmatism firs into the scheme of things to get things done, love is flexible, it quietly goes about the sometimes grotty things, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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You're right compassion has little to do with a well ordered, it's a case of compromise to do what's important. Sometimes practical pragmatism firs into the scheme of things to get things done, love is flexible, it quietly goes about the sometimes grotty things, beautifully written, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2024
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Thank you for reviewing, Roy, I appreciate it.
Wendy
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Most welcome