Life, Death, Up, Down
Viewing comments for Prologue "The Heart Is A Desperate Gambler"short stories
31 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
I enjoyed your story very much. Firstly that they were willing to stand by each other despite the racial differences, and then the discovery that the problem was not racial bias but the illness. Best wishes for the Romance contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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I enjoyed your story very much. Firstly that they were willing to stand by each other despite the racial differences, and then the discovery that the problem was not racial bias but the illness. Best wishes for the Romance contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Miss Wendy, for your kind words.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Congratulations on your Milestone post, Jim!
This is a nice piece of writing, and I enjoyed the storyline.
It struck me how I thought this would be about race, and it turned out to be something unrelated. Their deep love for one another and the reason she walked away brought this story to an about-face.
I loved it! Best, JohnC
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Congratulations on your Milestone post, Jim!
This is a nice piece of writing, and I enjoyed the storyline.
It struck me how I thought this would be about race, and it turned out to be something unrelated. Their deep love for one another and the reason she walked away brought this story to an about-face.
I loved it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an interesting romance story using quick, succinct language. Sickle Cell Anemia can be a deadly disease. I recall a coworker in the 1990s who had the disorder. She experienced some type of illness every two months. She would be absent from work a few weeks and return. After one particular absence, she never returned. At work, we were never told what happened.
When you said, "Tabi had never conceived in her life that she would have any kind of relationship with a male." I thought she was male herself, or a gay female. Whew! None of the above. Great story about biracial love with a deeper meaning. Best wishes in the contest.
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This is an interesting romance story using quick, succinct language. Sickle Cell Anemia can be a deadly disease. I recall a coworker in the 1990s who had the disorder. She experienced some type of illness every two months. She would be absent from work a few weeks and return. After one particular absence, she never returned. At work, we were never told what happened.
When you said, "Tabi had never conceived in her life that she would have any kind of relationship with a male." I thought she was male herself, or a gay female. Whew! None of the above. Great story about biracial love with a deeper meaning. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a lovely story about a bi-racial romance that seemed to be doomed at one stage but their love had become so strong that they were able to face any adversity (nice use of irony getting the reader to believe that colour was the real hurdle). For a while, I thought it might be entered in the Forbidden Fruit contest but this one is far more appropriate. All well-written with excellent dialogue, there is, however, a small edit I noticed: So where are you t(a)king me?; (and another, sadly, I can't find now). Good luck in the contest, Jim! Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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This is a lovely story about a bi-racial romance that seemed to be doomed at one stage but their love had become so strong that they were able to face any adversity (nice use of irony getting the reader to believe that colour was the real hurdle). For a while, I thought it might be entered in the Forbidden Fruit contest but this one is far more appropriate. All well-written with excellent dialogue, there is, however, a small edit I noticed: So where are you t(a)king me?; (and another, sadly, I can't find now). Good luck in the contest, Jim! Debbie
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Thanks so much! This was originally thought of for the Forbidden fruit contest, but it was too big. Rather than shorten it, I entered a silly post in the contest.
Comment from Daylily
This is a true Lady or the Tiger kind of story. The couple is so close already it is easy to be rooting for them to be together. Does there have to be children? What about adoption? Would the father and brother eventually come around? Your posting encourages all kinds of questions, Jim. An excellent 300th Milestone Post!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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This is a true Lady or the Tiger kind of story. The couple is so close already it is easy to be rooting for them to be together. Does there have to be children? What about adoption? Would the father and brother eventually come around? Your posting encourages all kinds of questions, Jim. An excellent 300th Milestone Post!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Thank you! I s studied writing for the visual media under a great screen and tv writer and felt writing about the human condition is the best form of fiction. When I can get the reader to think what happens next, I've done my job as, in real life, most situations are not easily solved in bright colored packages.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
That was so sad. How do people ever find people to love them with sickness? I used to tell guys right away I had issues and things get hairy sometimes. They professed undying love and care. None of them lasted the long haul. I am on my own now, and things are so much easier. :-) Karen
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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That was so sad. How do people ever find people to love them with sickness? I used to tell guys right away I had issues and things get hairy sometimes. They professed undying love and care. None of them lasted the long haul. I am on my own now, and things are so much easier. :-) Karen
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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My wife had issues from the moment I met her, when she had a hurt ankle and things went on through the years. Ask Bill Schott. If you really love someone, you want to overcome any obstacle.
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That's just the thing I do not talk about. My husbands professed undying love, and said they understood my problems and would do anything to help, and then did not. None of them stood by me and helped. The last one who I loved with every piece of me, was fine and dandy when things were well, but after my fourth back operation, things went bad, and he left me alone for days, and did other humiliating things. I had no loving support. It is a wonder I am still alive. And yet, I still hope and dream. I do not give up. I am getting sad. Karen:-(
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I'm so glad you are still here! The only family member I had around was my daughter, who has her problems, and my niece. I wanted to die with my wife (and for a long time, it looked like I might) but they encouraged me, and The Lord strengthened me. My niece stepped in as P.O.A., helped sell my home, and made a foundation for my daughter. Now, my niece meets all my needs and I see my daughter regularly, and she phones daily just to say she loved me.
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You had help and love. You thought ahead. You did good. We are here for a reason. We affect others for good or ill. I try to give a little learning without sounding like a snot. I give humor to make you smile. And give a few goosebumps on occasion. I remind folks that they can still feel. We are in service to others. We touch people with whatever we do.
You are a true friend. And I thank you for your time, and nice words. You make me smile.Karen:-)
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I am so thankful you consider me a friend and hope to always put a
smile on your face!
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You are doing okay so far. And believe you me, you are appreciated. You sir, make my day brighter. Thanks bunches and bunches and heaps and heaps. Karen :-)
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Your words always make me feel so good!
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I try to help others find their way, find the funny, embrace their oddities. I do not fit into any mold, but I am fine. I do my best, and that is enough. Karen :-)
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I like to vary my writings. Something serious, something silly, something to praise God, whatever The Lord puts in my mind.
Comment from Teri7
Jim, This was a great story you have penned. You used great descriptive words and a very lovely song that I had to sing along with. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Jim, This was a great story you have penned. You used great descriptive words and a very lovely song that I had to sing along with. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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I am blessed by your words!
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent writing. The end is rather sad, but you leave it open to the possibility that they may work things out. The videos add a nice touch to the story. Nice work.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Excellent writing. The end is rather sad, but you leave it open to the possibility that they may work things out. The videos add a nice touch to the story. Nice work.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Many thanks for your very kind words. When possible, I like readers to imagine for themselves what will happen next.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this contest entry and congratulations on getting our 300-milestone post on this entry. It's a special one. I really like the story. Good luck with the contest.
"So," Tabi smiled. (So.)
"My brother Michael," she said, rising. (comma needed after 'brother,')
So where are you tsking me?" (taking)
"But, mama, he's been so nice to me (Mama and each time unless there's a my or something in front))
"Why? We,,,We're so good together..." (We... or We-)
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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I enjoyed reading this contest entry and congratulations on getting our 300-milestone post on this entry. It's a special one. I really like the story. Good luck with the contest.
"So," Tabi smiled. (So.)
"My brother Michael," she said, rising. (comma needed after 'brother,')
So where are you tsking me?" (taking)
"But, mama, he's been so nice to me (Mama and each time unless there's a my or something in front))
"Why? We,,,We're so good together..." (We... or We-)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
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Thank you@! I wish I could keep you in my pocket and take you out whenever I write anything. You help me so much!
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LOL
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I'm very thankful and edited those mistakes.
Comment from BethShelby
This is good story with more than one thing standing in the way of a romance. It seems he is willing to face that bridge when they come to it but she won't. I can imagine everyone who carries that gene would never marry. She would be better off marrying a white person because they wouldn't carry the gene. Nice title. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
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This is good story with more than one thing standing in the way of a romance. It seems he is willing to face that bridge when they come to it but she won't. I can imagine everyone who carries that gene would never marry. She would be better off marrying a white person because they wouldn't carry the gene. Nice title. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
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Many thanks! The TV writer I studied under in Grad School in the fifth century B.C. once wrote a movie about sickle cell anemia with Bill Cosby titled "To All My Friends On Shore". I remember nothing about the movie, but the subject matter stayed with me.