Emotional Trigger
A personal revelation47 total reviews
Comment from Claire Tennant
Reaching for the sky is the best thing to do as long as the clouds prevent your banging your head. This is a wonderful insight into your problems; it gives the facts without evoking tears. It was a pleasure to read, as I usually get emotional. Therefore, despite the subject, I thouroughly enjoyed your work. Keep going forward. Bless you
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Reaching for the sky is the best thing to do as long as the clouds prevent your banging your head. This is a wonderful insight into your problems; it gives the facts without evoking tears. It was a pleasure to read, as I usually get emotional. Therefore, despite the subject, I thouroughly enjoyed your work. Keep going forward. Bless you
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Claire, for this positive review.
I hope not to bang my head on the clouds.
I'm glad you enjoyed reading this essay.
Thanks for your blessings.
Jesse
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You are most welcome, Jesse
Comment from Gloria ....
This is a most informative and well-written encounter with a caregiver that likely happens more often than people realize.
By the sounds of it, you recognized the trigger and established your boundary to make the relationship productive and rewarding.
Much enjoyed reading this Jesse. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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This is a most informative and well-written encounter with a caregiver that likely happens more often than people realize.
By the sounds of it, you recognized the trigger and established your boundary to make the relationship productive and rewarding.
Much enjoyed reading this Jesse. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Gloria. A view of reason in a plethora of insanity. It does happen more than people realize or want to think about.
We have already improved our working relationship thanks to my setting boundaries. I'm happy you enjoyed this essay.
It's great to hear from you.
Jesse
Comment from jenintorre
I enjoyed reading your story. Surely it is not a care givers job to burden people with their own stresses in life, That is not what it's all about. Take care. Jen.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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I enjoyed reading your story. Surely it is not a care givers job to burden people with their own stresses in life, That is not what it's all about. Take care. Jen.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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No, it's not part of the job of a caregiver to dump on the recipient. Thanks for the positive feedback.
Have a wonderful day.
Jesse
Comment from Lisasview
I am so glad to hear that you recognized the emotional back and forth and how very stressful it is for you.
Sadly many lay their pain and problems in front of each and every person they meet... hoping they will feel better.
Just say "Oh well'" and moving onto a different subject might help to sut them up.
Boundaries are so important...
Good luck...I wish you the very best...
Lisa
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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I am so glad to hear that you recognized the emotional back and forth and how very stressful it is for you.
Sadly many lay their pain and problems in front of each and every person they meet... hoping they will feel better.
Just say "Oh well'" and moving onto a different subject might help to sut them up.
Boundaries are so important...
Good luck...I wish you the very best...
Lisa
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks, Lisa, for the sage advice. I think I will go with what works for me, but, I appreciate your suggestion.
Thanks for the positive feedback.
Have a lovely day.
Jesse
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Sounds like the same thing... whatever works to make them stop... right.
Lisa
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Yep. Whatever works.
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Yes, Lisa
Comment from Terry Broxson
Jesse, this is a very interesting, introspective look at yourself and your interactions with others. I'll fully admit it is not something I readily do for myself. Maybe I should. My only defense is that I interact with very few, if any, at all.
Excellent lesson and food for thought. Terry.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Jesse, this is a very interesting, introspective look at yourself and your interactions with others. I'll fully admit it is not something I readily do for myself. Maybe I should. My only defense is that I interact with very few, if any, at all.
Excellent lesson and food for thought. Terry.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks for the honor of a six-star, my friend. Introspection is good for the soul and keeps me young and healthy. I'm sorry you have little interaction with others.
I now can see why FS is important for you.
Thanks for your support of my work.
Have a great day.
Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
There's always room for improvement for all of us throughout our lives. Thanks for sharing this kind of emotional trigger. Your mom put a lot on your shoulders. I remember how she was so insensitive to your needs as the quiet introvert when she was always so extroverted. It was not right of your caregiver to dump her problems on you. But we can't offer to help fix others' problems either. I hope you can both work things out better the next time she comes. Now that you know that's a trigger for you, you know how to handle it.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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There's always room for improvement for all of us throughout our lives. Thanks for sharing this kind of emotional trigger. Your mom put a lot on your shoulders. I remember how she was so insensitive to your needs as the quiet introvert when she was always so extroverted. It was not right of your caregiver to dump her problems on you. But we can't offer to help fix others' problems either. I hope you can both work things out better the next time she comes. Now that you know that's a trigger for you, you know how to handle it.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Yes, Helen. Knowledge is empowering. I now know how to do better next time. That is the point of learning what triggers my behavior. We will both meet in the middle, and it will all work out for the best. Mom would be proud of me, and she would apologize if she could.
She passed away many years ago. Isn't it funny how she can still press my buttons in her afterlife?
Grace reminds me of my mother, by the way. She is kind and considerate and does a good job of taking care of me.
Jesse
Comment from Daylily
It is obvious this particular caregiver being discussed has not been well-trained regarding the emotional aspects of their work. A caregiver should never dump their miseries onto a client. If they are having personal problems and need to release their feelings aloud, they should get a dog, cat, or fish and talk to it until they become hoarse.
A caregiver who causes their client to feel low is not doing their job. I am glad you have plans for a counterattack. I like that you recognize there is a problem and have the gumption to address it. I applaud your strength and courage.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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It is obvious this particular caregiver being discussed has not been well-trained regarding the emotional aspects of their work. A caregiver should never dump their miseries onto a client. If they are having personal problems and need to release their feelings aloud, they should get a dog, cat, or fish and talk to it until they become hoarse.
A caregiver who causes their client to feel low is not doing their job. I am glad you have plans for a counterattack. I like that you recognize there is a problem and have the gumption to address it. I applaud your strength and courage.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Agreed. Thanks, Daylily, for this insightful review. A caregiver knows better than to dump on a client. They know that and I know that as well.
Doing their job is the number one priority.
Thanks for the applause for my courage and strength.
Have a great evening.
Jesse
Comment from Cass Carlton
dear Jesse, May I suggest another different response to what you're planning. It goes like this. enter down in the dumps visitor. Vis.I'm feeling very sad today. Kind hearted Jesse, I'm sorry to hear that. Tell me about it.Dit dumps vis.Well, I burnt the toast, trod on the cat, nearly ran over the kid next door and now I've forgotten my lunch. As the visitor speaks, your mind has been busy. Burnt toast?
Change the picture to one of the visitor having, golden brown, dripping with her fave spread hot buttered toast. The poor trodden on cat!! Easy peasy!! Give the cat a mental cuddle, kiss paw better and move on to the kid next door. He just got a fright, no damage done, so send him some loving healing vibes along with a large block of chocolate.
As for the lost lunch? The down in the dumps visitor will quite possibly be feeling rather differently by now
and decide to have a snack at that nice little shop on the corner. This exercise is called
Replacement Imaging and I keep it on Standby to use on certain visitors. I live in an aged care facility, so you understand
where I'm coming from. I hope this helps you to cope with distressing people generally. I
forgot to mention, after you've done this you'll feel great
'cos you're working with Positive Energy. Enjoy cheers Cass
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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dear Jesse, May I suggest another different response to what you're planning. It goes like this. enter down in the dumps visitor. Vis.I'm feeling very sad today. Kind hearted Jesse, I'm sorry to hear that. Tell me about it.Dit dumps vis.Well, I burnt the toast, trod on the cat, nearly ran over the kid next door and now I've forgotten my lunch. As the visitor speaks, your mind has been busy. Burnt toast?
Change the picture to one of the visitor having, golden brown, dripping with her fave spread hot buttered toast. The poor trodden on cat!! Easy peasy!! Give the cat a mental cuddle, kiss paw better and move on to the kid next door. He just got a fright, no damage done, so send him some loving healing vibes along with a large block of chocolate.
As for the lost lunch? The down in the dumps visitor will quite possibly be feeling rather differently by now
and decide to have a snack at that nice little shop on the corner. This exercise is called
Replacement Imaging and I keep it on Standby to use on certain visitors. I live in an aged care facility, so you understand
where I'm coming from. I hope this helps you to cope with distressing people generally. I
forgot to mention, after you've done this you'll feel great
'cos you're working with Positive Energy. Enjoy cheers Cass
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks for your thoughtful suggestion. I will consider it. Please, note that this is about how her venting triggered me emotionally. I was not asking for different ways to deal with my emotional triggers.
But, thanks anyway.
Have a great upcoming week.
Jesse
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well done.
I think you are on to something!
I realize that she had triggered my old response of only listening to her woes so, that she would care for me. - I don't think you need this comma.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Well done.
I think you are on to something!
I realize that she had triggered my old response of only listening to her woes so, that she would care for me. - I don't think you need this comma.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks for the editing suggestion. I will consider changing the comma.
Have a pleasant day.
Jesse
Comment from Spitfire
A useful post. I don't know why people want to unload their personal problems if they aren't seeking advice. ( And believe me, they're are not) It's good that you recognized this trigger and I wish you luck in practicing the new. Instead of saying 'Stop.' Just say I'm sorry to hear that. Now let me tell you what I need for you to do today.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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A useful post. I don't know why people want to unload their personal problems if they aren't seeking advice. ( And believe me, they're are not) It's good that you recognized this trigger and I wish you luck in practicing the new. Instead of saying 'Stop.' Just say I'm sorry to hear that. Now let me tell you what I need for you to do today.
Good luck.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thanks, my friend, for the six stars.
I appreciate your suggestion but I've got this covered. Stop is a good way to end a rant or vent and then after that, I will use 'I' statements to clarify why I am stopping them. What works for some, works better for someone else, and that someone is me. I've dealt with caregivers for a long time and they need to listen to my boundaries.
Thanks for the positive feedback.
Jesse