Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Wow. More details revealed in this chapter regarding Iris's health issues.

She is either strong willed or putting on a good facade as she quips jokingly with the Dr.

I'm curious about this when Jameson finds out.


Well written, Gretchen.
Interesting.
John

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2023

He will find out later. Iris is a private person. But she will eventually open up. Thank you for this. You are picking up the subtle undertones of the story. Gretchen

Comment from Loretta Bigg

Good

Well you've got me interested, and that is very good. I like the interactions between all the characters and they are easy to see.
Some housekeeping:
"It's been proven to extend a patients life for several months." = patient's life

I fiddle with the edge of my blouse, bidding my time = biding my time

Examine table = examination table or exam table

Otherwise, keep up the good work


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 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023

Thank you for the grammatical help. Everything has been corrected. I'm glad you are enjoying this. Gretchen

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

Just a couple of SPAGs here:
His cool fingertips gently pressing the flesh of my ankles and feet, checking for fluid > there isn't a complete verb construct in this sentence. Just 'press' would be better
examine table > examination table
Otherwise it's an interesting chapter where we learn a lot about Iris - both her character and problems. I like her quips. I would use a stronger verb at the end such as 'dragged me out of my funk' kay

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 Comment Written 14-Jun-2023

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reply by the author on 14-Jun-2023

Thank you, Katherine. I appreciate the help and the lively comments. Gretchen