Called Home
Gone But Not Forgotten37 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
A moving poem, certainly well written and evocative. I was carried along easily from stanza to stanza, feeling the sadness, seeing this friend or lover (?) you were writing to, and knowing how painful it must be to lose someone so close and never be able to forget them. Thank you for sharing your beautiful sentiments, Irish. The only suggestion I could think of, and it is not too important really, is in the last line of the fifth verse, you use the pronoun "you" when I felt like I'd prefer you'd said "her" just to be consistent with the other lines. It would then read: "Could not believe she was gone." This is completely up to you, of course. Either way, I really love this poem and admire your poetic skills, regardless of your author notes. MM
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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A moving poem, certainly well written and evocative. I was carried along easily from stanza to stanza, feeling the sadness, seeing this friend or lover (?) you were writing to, and knowing how painful it must be to lose someone so close and never be able to forget them. Thank you for sharing your beautiful sentiments, Irish. The only suggestion I could think of, and it is not too important really, is in the last line of the fifth verse, you use the pronoun "you" when I felt like I'd prefer you'd said "her" just to be consistent with the other lines. It would then read: "Could not believe she was gone." This is completely up to you, of course. Either way, I really love this poem and admire your poetic skills, regardless of your author notes. MM
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging, and in-depth comments, and the galaxy of stars!! I see that you read between the lines, we were very close.
I really appreciate your advice, and I will make that change to the poem.
I thought about this poem for three days, then when I sat down it all came out at once. With good advice, I corrected, and took a chance, and posted.
irish
Comment from Boogienights
This is a very sad and touching poem, I'm sorry you lost your friend. I too, lost someone very dear to me, I know the pain it causes. Thank you for sharing your story and best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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This is a very sad and touching poem, I'm sorry you lost your friend. I too, lost someone very dear to me, I know the pain it causes. Thank you for sharing your story and best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Thank you for reading, all the stars, and your kind comments! This girl and I were very close at one time. I like to think she is still with me.
irish
Comment from LovnPeace
Yes, you are a poet dear friend. I know it is read and appreciated from above. I'm sorry for your loss, but I now believe their spirit is with us. God Bless. Barbara. Xo
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Yes, you are a poet dear friend. I know it is read and appreciated from above. I'm sorry for your loss, but I now believe their spirit is with us. God Bless. Barbara. Xo
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Wow, thank you for reading, the galaxy of stars, and your kind comments! I believe in loved one's spirits staying with us, tuck here on earth.
irish
Comment from John Ciarmello
Oh, my, Irish! This is so beautiful and meaningful. I'm so sorry for your loss. The dedication to your friend in this poem only adds to the perfection! I enjoyed this read, my good friend. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Oh, my, Irish! This is so beautiful and meaningful. I'm so sorry for your loss. The dedication to your friend in this poem only adds to the perfection! I enjoyed this read, my good friend. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you, John, I am humbled! Thank you for reading, the galaxy of stars, and your kind comments, my friend.
irish
Comment from nomi338
This touching poem reminds me of how I sometimes feel when I think about my oldest daughter. Things were not always smooth between us, but I loved her more than even I knew. It was not until she was gone, that the realization hit me I would never see her again in this life. To make matter worse, she left behind a son who has her face and parts of her personality that I enjoyed the most. It helps having him around, but I still miss the original.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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This touching poem reminds me of how I sometimes feel when I think about my oldest daughter. Things were not always smooth between us, but I loved her more than even I knew. It was not until she was gone, that the realization hit me I would never see her again in this life. To make matter worse, she left behind a son who has her face and parts of her personality that I enjoyed the most. It helps having him around, but I still miss the original.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you for reading, all the stars, and for your in-depth review. I had the same realization when I lost her, even to the extent of denying she was gone. Life is fragile.
irish
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm sorry for the loss of your lifetime friend, one of life's endless and everlasting tragedies. But I'm sure if they could read your touching and deeply felt sentiments of devotion, they would certainly be pleased. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I'm sorry for the loss of your lifetime friend, one of life's endless and everlasting tragedies. But I'm sure if they could read your touching and deeply felt sentiments of devotion, they would certainly be pleased. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Ric, for reading, all the stars, and your kind comments!
I believe in visiting spirits, and in the hope of reunion.
irish
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You may not consider yourself a poet, but you were rather inspired when you wrote this one. A poem from the heart - that came through very clearly. Kate xx
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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You may not consider yourself a poet, but you were rather inspired when you wrote this one. A poem from the heart - that came through very clearly. Kate xx
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the stars, Kate! I appreciate your reading and your kind comments.
This poem just came out all at once. Sometimes I think that I get help from somewhere...
irish
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I am unsure whether I have rad you before but if not your mention of Ohn Prine is the second time, I heard his name this week. Is he an eclectic kind of singer? Gee, as an advise, I see eclectic has three c's. That's a new one on me to see that many c's. Anywhohow, I enjoyed your read. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I am unsure whether I have rad you before but if not your mention of Ohn Prine is the second time, I heard his name this week. Is he an eclectic kind of singer? Gee, as an advise, I see eclectic has three c's. That's a new one on me to see that many c's. Anywhohow, I enjoyed your read. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Tom, for reading, all the stars, and your kind comments.
John Prine is a unique musician, finger picks background and some lead. His music is somewhere between folk and country. He has an outstanding, young lead player who plays soft, bottleneck guitar with a volume pedal, simulating steel guitar, and sings harmony. The trio is complete with a stand-up acoustic bass, played with a bow on some slow songs.
Give him a listen, think you will like him.
irish
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So JOHN PRINEis a and not an individual? How quaint
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
To not be a poet, you have written a good poem. The text is an okay size. It could be a bit larger. The message of your poem is clearly stated. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout. The visual fits well. I would drop the poem down one or two spaces for better balance in the poem box. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing poetry. You seem to have a natural gift.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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To not be a poet, you have written a good poem. The text is an okay size. It could be a bit larger. The message of your poem is clearly stated. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout. The visual fits well. I would drop the poem down one or two spaces for better balance in the poem box. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing poetry. You seem to have a natural gift.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Wow, thank you for reading, all the stars, and your excellent advice!
I can see how those changes would make the work easier to read.
Sometimes I think I get help from out there somewhere.
irish
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You are welcome.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Irish,
Well for a fellow who claims that he's not a poet, you've done a hell of a job writing a really fine poem. Well done. I'm sorry for your loss. No matter how much time passes, the void can't be filled when we lose someone we love. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Hello Irish,
Well for a fellow who claims that he's not a poet, you've done a hell of a job writing a really fine poem. Well done. I'm sorry for your loss. No matter how much time passes, the void can't be filled when we lose someone we love. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Wow, I am humbled! Thank you for reading, the galaxy of stars, and for your great comments. I think I get help from somewhere out there.
irish