The Maelstrom
In chaos lies the truth we cannot speak40 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
It be worth six stars if I didn't need to dissect each line with a dictionary about teas and such. Loved the line: "a supermodel driving beauty's hearse." Sooner or later, they will wreck and disfigurement, at least to them, will become apparent. As for tisane, an archaic word at best.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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It be worth six stars if I didn't need to dissect each line with a dictionary about teas and such. Loved the line: "a supermodel driving beauty's hearse." Sooner or later, they will wreck and disfigurement, at least to them, will become apparent. As for tisane, an archaic word at best.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thanks Tom :-). I use tisane quite a lot - it featured heavily in the books I read as a teenager so it just feels like a normal word to me (an early review made me add the author note). Really glad you enjoyed my poem :-)
Mike
Comment from tfawcus
Wresting meaning from chaos, whether it be in writing or in life, can be a frustrating experience. I like the idea here of getting past the veneer and into the true meaning, as expressed so well here between the supermodel's outward beauty and the much richer inner beauty for which we delve.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Wresting meaning from chaos, whether it be in writing or in life, can be a frustrating experience. I like the idea here of getting past the veneer and into the true meaning, as expressed so well here between the supermodel's outward beauty and the much richer inner beauty for which we delve.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Tony - for the sixer, of course, but more for the insight and response. I was worried the supermodel line was a bit obscure / incongruent with the rest but you've seen the intent. I really appreciate your analytical eye :-)
Mike
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Sometimes we have to get off the merry-go-round to take stock and realise the truth is stark and shocking sometimes. Things that become habitual can be accepted as normal when they are not. A fine sonnet, well metered and rhyme Mike, I enjoyed the sentiments too, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Sometimes we have to get off the merry-go-round to take stock and realise the truth is stark and shocking sometimes. Things that become habitual can be accepted as normal when they are not. A fine sonnet, well metered and rhyme Mike, I enjoyed the sentiments too, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Dolly :-). I've been thinking about that a lot recently - how we tend to think we're the sensible majority because we surround ourselves with people who think the same way (social media exacerbates this by filtering the content we see based on what we read, but the danger is, we end up only reading things we already agree with). I'm so glad you enjoyed this one!
Mike
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A very dramatic and effective opening and closing line in your poem, Mike. Sometimes others words bring up our own memories, both good or bad. Agreat write, well done. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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A very dramatic and effective opening and closing line in your poem, Mike. Sometimes others words bring up our own memories, both good or bad. Agreat write, well done. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much, Valda :-). This one definitely came from the centre. I'm thrilled it resonated with you.
Mike
Comment from WLHall
I get the chaos thing. I experience it a lot of times when I try to send a message, but not everyone can catch that message. It just seems that 5 stars are given out to placate the author on this platform. You know I am in awe of your poems usually. I am also giving you 5 stars because I know how deep you think and put a great effort in bringing your thoughts to paper.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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I get the chaos thing. I experience it a lot of times when I try to send a message, but not everyone can catch that message. It just seems that 5 stars are given out to placate the author on this platform. You know I am in awe of your poems usually. I am also giving you 5 stars because I know how deep you think and put a great effort in bringing your thoughts to paper.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Wanda, and apologies if this one didn't sit right. You're right - 5 is seen as the baseline, with only the limited 6 available to truly differentiate. I put more stock in the comments themselves and I always appreciate yours.
Mike
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are thought provoking, deep, interesting, descriptive
and creative. I found the words of this poem extremely thought provoking. Finding the truth in so many ways gets harder all the time!
I do believe as the author states "In chaos lies the truth we cannot speak!"
The artwork is awesome! Great Poem!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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The author's words are thought provoking, deep, interesting, descriptive
and creative. I found the words of this poem extremely thought provoking. Finding the truth in so many ways gets harder all the time!
I do believe as the author states "In chaos lies the truth we cannot speak!"
The artwork is awesome! Great Poem!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thank you :-). Yes, I had to use that line for my open and close - as you note, it's the essence of the poem. I'm so glad you liked it.
Mike
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent use of metaphor here. I was particularly fond of the refrain, refrain ... and a supermodel driving beauty's hearse. Apt referral to the outer shell.
Alas all the chaos that lies within is allowed to escape through the crucible of the pen.
Excellent sonnet with an modified rhyme scheme.
Thank you for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Excellent use of metaphor here. I was particularly fond of the refrain, refrain ... and a supermodel driving beauty's hearse. Apt referral to the outer shell.
Alas all the chaos that lies within is allowed to escape through the crucible of the pen.
Excellent sonnet with an modified rhyme scheme.
Thank you for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Gloria! I'm glad you said that, because I was worried about the repeating refrain line, but it felt so perfect coming out, I knew I couldn't change it.
Mike
Comment from John Ciarmello
I felt the chaos in the piece, Mike. The unspeakable abuse that follows the abuse. The mealstorm that sucks in your words for fear they will be spoken. An interesting write, Mike. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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I felt the chaos in the piece, Mike. The unspeakable abuse that follows the abuse. The mealstorm that sucks in your words for fear they will be spoken. An interesting write, Mike. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thank you, John :-). Sometimes, we obscure things for our own benefit, other times to protect others, but the truth hides beneath, knowing.
Mike
Comment from nomi338
Though the cup be bitter to the taste, the elixir of truth we dare not waste. Truth's torturous barbs sink deeply into the heart, brutally rending deceit as it bores in deeply to the core. We are forced to come to grips with honesty as it forces its way to the fore. Another excellent write Sir Scribe.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Though the cup be bitter to the taste, the elixir of truth we dare not waste. Truth's torturous barbs sink deeply into the heart, brutally rending deceit as it bores in deeply to the core. We are forced to come to grips with honesty as it forces its way to the fore. Another excellent write Sir Scribe.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much :-). I love your response - a poem in its own right. We can but speak truth, albeit through a lens where we can choose filters.
Mike
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You know, after I had written the response, I thought, I should have submitted this as a poem. I do not think I have ever written a poem this good. Such is the depth of your excellent poem to pull a response out of me like this. I think that I will submit this as a poem after all.
Comment from Dylan 22
This is an excellent poem. I really loved how you used repitition throughout, and particularly the repeating of the first line at the end of the poem. I can't give enough praise to the line "emancipating love from terror's grip". I also liked how nicely the image you chose for this pairs with the chaos you speak of in this.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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This is an excellent poem. I really loved how you used repitition throughout, and particularly the repeating of the first line at the end of the poem. I can't give enough praise to the line "emancipating love from terror's grip". I also liked how nicely the image you chose for this pairs with the chaos you speak of in this.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much :-). As is often the case, this felt like it needed to come out of me, to express a set of thoughts that wouldn't make much sense in prose.
Mike