The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer #9"America's First Female Comic
29 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I am the masochist, who could read your writing for hours... but I understand what you're saying. June is going to be script writing month for me, and I also forsee it being a month of much reviewing and low levels of actual writing, but unlike you I don't reach for the stars, and accept the death warrant. Tant pis! At least I satisfy myself by pushing the words out the door. One day someone who appreciates them will read them.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
  |
I am the masochist, who could read your writing for hours... but I understand what you're saying. June is going to be script writing month for me, and I also forsee it being a month of much reviewing and low levels of actual writing, but unlike you I don't reach for the stars, and accept the death warrant. Tant pis! At least I satisfy myself by pushing the words out the door. One day someone who appreciates them will read them.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
I will be so happy to read your scripts, Katherine. I find it so difficult to review poetry. I'm not singling out yours, but all poetry here. I just don't feel up to the task.
-
Don't worry about the poetry, I know it's an acquired taste (I still have problems with it, but as I said, I'm a masochist). I am grateful when you read my scripts (and especially when you come further out and read my stories) as I respect your opinions immensely. I am always puzzled when story writers say they can't read scripts. Why not when they enter dialogue contests? maybe we need to create more script contests (I'd be interested to know how many entries there are for the site contest in June). Kate xx
-
I saw that script contest. Lance entered it. He is politically brilliant, but so many are turned off by his sexual content, I think.
-
I also entered it. So that makes two, right?
-
What? You entered it? How did that slip past me?
-
Seriously, I can't find it!
-
It was on May 8th, my script for International Womens Day... I had a lot of fun with it.
-
Just checked.You reviewed it at the time and liked it.
-
Doggone it! I can't find it in your portfolio, and it's driving me looney!
-
I"m really chuffed by this determination, hahaha! You did read it once and reviewed, but if you want to glance agan it was posted on march 8 2022 and is called Linguistics and Stereotyping. If you still can't find it, I'll send you a copy by PM
Comment from Ulla
And I do, Jay. No need to apologise. It takes a lot of reviewing to get a post to the top of the page.
That said, now to present scene. It is interesting how Fanny can remember everything in such detail after seventy-one years, but on the other hand, I'm not surprised. What happened with her father would have left an unforgettable experience. She's a character and you portray her so very well. It's a joy to read. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
And I do, Jay. No need to apologise. It takes a lot of reviewing to get a post to the top of the page.
That said, now to present scene. It is interesting how Fanny can remember everything in such detail after seventy-one years, but on the other hand, I'm not surprised. What happened with her father would have left an unforgettable experience. She's a character and you portray her so very well. It's a joy to read. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
As you'll find out, her memory had a little help. Thank you, Ulla. Your reviews always are so important to me. Your sixes are un unnecessary delight!
Comment from Michele Harber
I'm one of those people you mentioned in your notes, who doesn't usually read scripts. I'll tell you, honestly, that I did first look at this based on the amount it paid, as I have several pieces I hope to post in the next few days, and need site dollars, as you'd mentioned. But what convinced me to read something this long was your description of Ms. Barnwarmer. It's hard not to be curious about an "eighty-five-year-old woman with plenty of spark and sizzle still in her."
I truly like the character you've created. At 85, she knows who she is, what she saw, what she believes - and, importantly, that she's lived long enough to not have to put up with other's impatience or misperceptions.
The dialect, which can be extremely annoying if mishandled, works very well, in this case, to create the character, the time and the place. It actually greatly enhances your story. I'm patient, and will look forward to reading the next two scenes, whenever they're posted.
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
 |
I'm one of those people you mentioned in your notes, who doesn't usually read scripts. I'll tell you, honestly, that I did first look at this based on the amount it paid, as I have several pieces I hope to post in the next few days, and need site dollars, as you'd mentioned. But what convinced me to read something this long was your description of Ms. Barnwarmer. It's hard not to be curious about an "eighty-five-year-old woman with plenty of spark and sizzle still in her."
I truly like the character you've created. At 85, she knows who she is, what she saw, what she believes - and, importantly, that she's lived long enough to not have to put up with other's impatience or misperceptions.
The dialect, which can be extremely annoying if mishandled, works very well, in this case, to create the character, the time and the place. It actually greatly enhances your story. I'm patient, and will look forward to reading the next two scenes, whenever they're posted.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Ahhh, Bless you, Michelle. Fanny was a comic (much like Will Rogers) for the last 40 some years in Brady Texas. She also had a love relationship with Juniper Albright, who had lately died in prison for murdering the man whose mob lynched her daddy 72 years earlier.
I will be honored having you jump aboard for the remaining scenes!
-
Thank you for the background info. I will never condone murder but, on the other hand, you have to respect someone who loves a person enough to avenge them, as Mr. Albright did. It's a very interesting story, and Ms. Barnwarmer is obviously a very interesting person.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
A big grin, "oh yay oh yay. I thoroughly enjoy these.*** This a good metaphor to describe the setting. It makes it easier for the audience to feel they are not just watching, but are there on the front porch: "a kind stew of white-noise background" Excellent character direction. The audience is now taken back with Fanny: "a kind stew of white-noise background" Even at 14, she was very perceptive. There's so much more I could write, but runnin' short a paper & room here & probly yer tentchun span.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
|
A big grin, "oh yay oh yay. I thoroughly enjoy these.*** This a good metaphor to describe the setting. It makes it easier for the audience to feel they are not just watching, but are there on the front porch: "a kind stew of white-noise background" Excellent character direction. The audience is now taken back with Fanny: "a kind stew of white-noise background" Even at 14, she was very perceptive. There's so much more I could write, but runnin' short a paper & room here & probly yer tentchun span.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
-
Hahaha! I like your dialect as much as Fanny's! Thank you, Liz for dropping by, for continuing to drop by, I should say. I appreciate your spirit and your humor!
-
I'm going to look forward to more.
Comment from judiverse
Fanny is quite a character, and she tells her story quite compelling. Some people of her age are also blessed with pretty good memories. The trial would have made such an impression on her young mind, things stayed with her. Excellent comments about Moma and the brother. Interesting to know about the judge's leanings. I see that you've just getting to intermission. You might check how many pages you have for the first act. Allow about a minute and a half playing time for each page. You won't want to be overly long. I don't know how much you've planned for the next act. They are usually shorter. Great work. judi
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
|
Fanny is quite a character, and she tells her story quite compelling. Some people of her age are also blessed with pretty good memories. The trial would have made such an impression on her young mind, things stayed with her. Excellent comments about Moma and the brother. Interesting to know about the judge's leanings. I see that you've just getting to intermission. You might check how many pages you have for the first act. Allow about a minute and a half playing time for each page. You won't want to be overly long. I don't know how much you've planned for the next act. They are usually shorter. Great work. judi
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
-
Thank you so much, Judi. I appreciate your comments so very much because of your stage experience. If I had any aspirations to send this play out for consideration, I'd take your advice on the page count. But this will stay on FS only, along with my other plays. I really appreciate your 6 lovely stars as well!
-
You are very welcome. I am wondering if you got the classification of your script worked out. Have aspirations. You can have others do the legwork. So much is done on the internet, anyway. judi
Comment from Judy Lawless
I enjoy reading all of your plays, Jay. As much as I'd like to see the scenes posted more closely together, I understand your predicament and waiting is worth it. This scene is showing some more intense moments, and how it's beginning to wear on Fanny. You've described her aches and pains well. Some days I can totally relate. :)
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
|
I enjoy reading all of your plays, Jay. As much as I'd like to see the scenes posted more closely together, I understand your predicament and waiting is worth it. This scene is showing some more intense moments, and how it's beginning to wear on Fanny. You've described her aches and pains well. Some days I can totally relate. :)
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
-
Bless you for the honor of six stars, Judy. But your kind words are even more appreciated and knowing that I'll have you for the later scenes thrills me! Thank you.
-
You?re most welcome, Jay.
Comment from BethShelby
You don't need to apologize about cutting in short. It really isn't so long. You are using large type, and I read things that are much longer and not as interesting. As usually it is pleasure to read. I love the way Fanny talks and the way the reporter is getting anxious for her to move along with the story. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and this is memorable enough your readers are likely to forget no matter how long it takes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
|
You don't need to apologize about cutting in short. It really isn't so long. You are using large type, and I read things that are much longer and not as interesting. As usually it is pleasure to read. I love the way Fanny talks and the way the reporter is getting anxious for her to move along with the story. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and this is memorable enough your readers are likely to forget no matter how long it takes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
-
You are so kind, Beth. You have been one person I can always count on to read my plays, and you seem sincerely to enjoy reading them. That means so much to me. Thank you, thank you!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You are doing a great job writing this. Fanny is a wonderful character. I hope after this story's over, you use her again.
He be Sittin' in the back o' th' courtroom--kindly like you, (lower case 's' needed on 'sittin')
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
|
You are doing a great job writing this. Fanny is a wonderful character. I hope after this story's over, you use her again.
He be Sittin' in the back o' th' courtroom--kindly like you, (lower case 's' needed on 'sittin')
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
-
Thank you for your lovely six stars and for being so kind in your comments. No, when this play ends, I am forcing Fanny in the old folks home. She doesn't know it yet, so don't give me away. You were the first to catch my SPAG and it is corrected. Thank you so much.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Jay,
Great stuff once again.
Getting to the nitty-gritty here.
He be Sittin' in the back o' th' courtroom- don't think you need the capitalisation here.
It isn't just plays getting short shrift these days. have you seen how little fiction there is! It's like pulling teeth.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
|
Hi Jay,
Great stuff once again.
Getting to the nitty-gritty here.
He be Sittin' in the back o' th' courtroom- don't think you need the capitalisation here.
It isn't just plays getting short shrift these days. have you seen how little fiction there is! It's like pulling teeth.
All the best
G
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
-
Yes, G! I think the site will soon change its name to, "FanPoetry For Christ"!
Thank you for the kind words, the gorgeous six and the heads up. I'm changing it now.