Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Hoarfrost"Musings of an old man -2021
26 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hoarfrost
by JLR
Excellent entry for the Free Form Poetry Contest. You described the cold very well...great imagery. I like the message of gratitude... it's true
Well done
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
  |
Hoarfrost
by JLR
Excellent entry for the Free Form Poetry Contest. You described the cold very well...great imagery. I like the message of gratitude... it's true
Well done
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
Thank you.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brrrrr. Vividly evocative of COLD. A fine example of a full story rendered in free verse.
paint worn away from its'=>ITS decades-old window frame
oven nob=>KNOB on full bore.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
|
Brrrrr. Vividly evocative of COLD. A fine example of a full story rendered in free verse.
paint worn away from its'=>ITS decades-old window frame
oven nob=>KNOB on full bore.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
thank you Elizabeth
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for sharing this amazing story. I wish you had written it as prose instead of free verse because the details you gave are important for prose but not for free verse. It's those really hard times that make us grateful for what we have. And I'm impressed that in your young years, you had the responsibility of a father on your shoulders and you made sure your siblings were safe!
I know to some folks' cold is a relative word.
ice-cycle-like tendrils (not sure if you are creating a new word for icicle )
Smack dabbed in the middle (dab)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
|
Thank you for sharing this amazing story. I wish you had written it as prose instead of free verse because the details you gave are important for prose but not for free verse. It's those really hard times that make us grateful for what we have. And I'm impressed that in your young years, you had the responsibility of a father on your shoulders and you made sure your siblings were safe!
I know to some folks' cold is a relative word.
ice-cycle-like tendrils (not sure if you are creating a new word for icicle )
Smack dabbed in the middle (dab)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
Thank you 🙏. I have been awake from writing for a while and as you see, I am a bit rusty. I of course, do always value your honest comments.
Comment from Cass Carlton
I really "get" this piece, my friend. I fully understand why you remember that awful, cold morning and relive it here. It does remind us just how fortunate most of us are with the basic comforts of life with an admonition not to take them for granted. I trust you have left those desperate circumstances behind now and enjoy all the comforts of a snug home with hot water on tap and a warm bed to sleep in all night through. You certainly deserve it all and much more besides. cheers Cass
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
 |
I really "get" this piece, my friend. I fully understand why you remember that awful, cold morning and relive it here. It does remind us just how fortunate most of us are with the basic comforts of life with an admonition not to take them for granted. I trust you have left those desperate circumstances behind now and enjoy all the comforts of a snug home with hot water on tap and a warm bed to sleep in all night through. You certainly deserve it all and much more besides. cheers Cass
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
Cass, thank you for your kind words, review and good wishes. Yes, I am rather one of the lucky ones who had great life lessons that allowed me to want to make my life better and then I had wonderful mentors, teachers and The Master the Christ always at the ready when and as needed.
Comment from royowen
Fortunately for me, I live in a temperate climate Jim. I spent the first 8 years of my life in England before emigrating to Australia with my parents. The only time I spent time in the cold, was Christmas time in Manhattan in 2012 and saw snow for the first time since youth. (Thank God for central heating) But my wife lived in cold places when young, so I've lived vicariously in her experience. I appreciate your experience, particularly of gratitude, although I learnt mine without coldness, heh heh. Well done Jim. Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
|
Fortunately for me, I live in a temperate climate Jim. I spent the first 8 years of my life in England before emigrating to Australia with my parents. The only time I spent time in the cold, was Christmas time in Manhattan in 2012 and saw snow for the first time since youth. (Thank God for central heating) But my wife lived in cold places when young, so I've lived vicariously in her experience. I appreciate your experience, particularly of gratitude, although I learnt mine without coldness, heh heh. Well done Jim. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
Dear Roy, as you know, while we may lament in our words as such, it is through experiencing life that one can draw one sooner and closer to the Well, where the Master is always at the ready to make the step stones of life less challenging - certainly was the case for me and where my cup of gratitude has always been replenished .
-
Love your attitude Jim
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your contest entry. Your words are well thought out, flow smoothly, and the details create great imagery. It's amazing what one (or a family) can, and does, do when faced with what seems insurmountable obstacles. Your line read well from verse to verse. You set the scene perfectly and ended on a positive note.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
|
You did a great job with your contest entry. Your words are well thought out, flow smoothly, and the details create great imagery. It's amazing what one (or a family) can, and does, do when faced with what seems insurmountable obstacles. Your line read well from verse to verse. You set the scene perfectly and ended on a positive note.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
Jan, as always, your kind words are so validation, as you know I have been away fro. My writing for some length of time and while I felt rusty around the edges, I thought I would start up once again, May your 2022 be one of the Highest and Best that the Master, the Christ can bring to your doorstep.