If I Had Only Known
I remember our last goodbye41 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written, but very sad story you have penned for the I remember writing prompt contest. You used very good descriptive words. I could feel the pain in your words. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings Teri
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This is a very well written, but very sad story you have penned for the I remember writing prompt contest. You used very good descriptive words. I could feel the pain in your words. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings Teri
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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|Thank you for your thoughts and best wishes. Without the Lord by my side, I could never have faced this grief. I appreciate your review.
Have a great day!
Comment from tfawcus
I like the way this tale unfolds. Your first sentence hooks the reader in and the pacing is good as you reveal further details leading up to the tragic death. You express Nana's grief with an intensity that is accentuated by the good times she recalls. The revelation that this is the second such tragedy she has experienced makes her grief even more palpable. Good writing and a strong contender in this contest.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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I like the way this tale unfolds. Your first sentence hooks the reader in and the pacing is good as you reveal further details leading up to the tragic death. You express Nana's grief with an intensity that is accentuated by the good times she recalls. The revelation that this is the second such tragedy she has experienced makes her grief even more palpable. Good writing and a strong contender in this contest.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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I thank you so much for the kind words and understand of this post. Even though I understand that life happens as God's plans, I can't help but wonder the what ifs.... Thank you for your review and your kindness. Have a great day!
Comment from MAMONIA
This definitely is a nightmare that no one should ever have to experience.
How sad that you feel it is your fault.
For you to live with this is worst than the tragedy you have lived through.
Please forgive yourself first. You did what any Nana would do. You wanted
To see him happy and join his friends.
I congratulate you on being able to write this and wish you much luck in the contest.
Marie
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This definitely is a nightmare that no one should ever have to experience.
How sad that you feel it is your fault.
For you to live with this is worst than the tragedy you have lived through.
Please forgive yourself first. You did what any Nana would do. You wanted
To see him happy and join his friends.
I congratulate you on being able to write this and wish you much luck in the contest.
Marie
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Marie
Over the years I have searched and found peace in the Lord, but at the time I couldn't help but scream at myself how different it could have been. It was God's way...not mine. I was blessed to share those last special days with him.... Have a great day!
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Congrats on your win. I voted for you too.
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Thank you so much! Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
This is so sad and touching. We never know what might happen so we need to treasure each moment to we have with our loved ones. The story is beautifully written. Why is some seem to experience more tragedy than others? We'll understand some day. I thought I knew who wrote this and I was right.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This is so sad and touching. We never know what might happen so we need to treasure each moment to we have with our loved ones. The story is beautifully written. Why is some seem to experience more tragedy than others? We'll understand some day. I thought I knew who wrote this and I was right.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Good morning, Beth....
I guess there is not too much of a mystery about me. LOL I thank you for your kind words and the review. Sending a smile your way!
Have a great day!
Comment from karenina
Heartbreaking. Life is so unfair. You penned this beautifully, capturing DJ's beautiful and caring heart. We do this to ourselves...going over the "what it's." You were an awesome Nana, and he told you so! God has his reasons... I'll never understand why some ate taken so young. Tears on my eyes here authoress. This is a winner... I think so!
Karenina
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Heartbreaking. Life is so unfair. You penned this beautifully, capturing DJ's beautiful and caring heart. We do this to ourselves...going over the "what it's." You were an awesome Nana, and he told you so! God has his reasons... I'll never understand why some ate taken so young. Tears on my eyes here authoress. This is a winner... I think so!
Karenina
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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My sweet karenina,
What a blessing to start off my morning with such glowing words from you. God does have his reasons but I wish he'd let us love and enjoy the good ones a bit longer. Thank you for your kindness and the stars. Awesome! Just like you!
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My thoughts were with you today....
Karenina
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Mine are always with you!
Love ya!
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Love that lyenochka cited your work in her writing about the word "saudade!"
I told her you'd be tickled!
Karenina
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I was! I thanked her several times...because you know I don't consider myself a poet. But those little ones are fun! Smiles!
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Smile....your poetry is charming. You're too hard on yourself my friend!
Karenina
Comment from Pamela Lear
This story grabbed me from the very first moment and kept me engaged. It is such a sad and frightening story, yet it is told in a way that allows me as the reader to feel I am there with the narrator, in a way that allows me to really care about this entire family. Heartwrenching.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This story grabbed me from the very first moment and kept me engaged. It is such a sad and frightening story, yet it is told in a way that allows me as the reader to feel I am there with the narrator, in a way that allows me to really care about this entire family. Heartwrenching.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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thank you, Pamela
DJ was a special boy...He would help anyone without a single complaint. His smile was contagious. I appreciate your thoughtful review. Have an awesome day!
Comment from Richard Frohm
I am normally a person that talks a lot and write like I talk.
After reading your heart wrenching story. I am at a loss for words. I cannot imagine what everyone in your family went through.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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I am normally a person that talks a lot and write like I talk.
After reading your heart wrenching story. I am at a loss for words. I cannot imagine what everyone in your family went through.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Richard....
I would not want you or anyone else to imagine or live through the loss of a child. Our family did it three times... It was through the Lord and friends (old and new) that supported us and held us high until we were able to stand again. Grief gives us breathers, but it never goes away. Thank you for your kindness and the stars.
Have a great day!
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is too sad, Carol. I knew you had lost a teenage grandson, but I didn't know the circumstances; another loss involving water. He was such a good kid, such a sweetie! And he loved his Nana. He loved you dearly.
I guess it was human nature for you to second-guess or blame yourself, but you really had no foresight or control over this situation. I guess Justin was DJ's friend? They could have gone to that pond at any time. And you're absolutely right -- it should have been roped off, or had a sign posted. It was an accident waiting to happen.
Of course you felt as though you were reliving the nightmare of Michael's death. And of course, you were hoping for a birthday miracle, and he would turn up alive. You have been through so much in your life!
I thank God that you continue to believe in our God, our Lord Jesus Christ, and that like me, you have the true and living hope of seeing our loved ones again some sweet day, in a place where there are no more tears, and where all promises will be fulfilled.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This is too sad, Carol. I knew you had lost a teenage grandson, but I didn't know the circumstances; another loss involving water. He was such a good kid, such a sweetie! And he loved his Nana. He loved you dearly.
I guess it was human nature for you to second-guess or blame yourself, but you really had no foresight or control over this situation. I guess Justin was DJ's friend? They could have gone to that pond at any time. And you're absolutely right -- it should have been roped off, or had a sign posted. It was an accident waiting to happen.
Of course you felt as though you were reliving the nightmare of Michael's death. And of course, you were hoping for a birthday miracle, and he would turn up alive. You have been through so much in your life!
I thank God that you continue to believe in our God, our Lord Jesus Christ, and that like me, you have the true and living hope of seeing our loved ones again some sweet day, in a place where there are no more tears, and where all promises will be fulfilled.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Mary Kay....though I am suppose to be an unknown author. LOL Guess you know me far too well. Yes, Justin lived nearby and they could have gone there any time. Justin had a pool, but the pond lured them instead. I did pray for a miracle...in a way I got it... he was found and entered God's arms. Thank you...
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You're welcome, as always, and...
Woops! I would go back and remove my mention of your name, but your reply came back from you, not from "Anonymous," as generated by FanStory. I do know you very well, as well as we can know one another from our words typed onto these screens, and into these little boxes, and the pictures we share, and maybe a little extra, from what God imparts in the way of love and understanding.
Yes, DJ was found and entered God?s arms. God is good, and we know this by faith. We share this knowledge, rejoicing in what we believe and what is yet to come! Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a beautiful and well-penned entry for the I Remember Contest. Your love for your grandson is evident and shines through the words. I would pick this one to be the winner.
Patty
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This is a beautiful and well-penned entry for the I Remember Contest. Your love for your grandson is evident and shines through the words. I would pick this one to be the winner.
Patty
Comment Written 11-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Patty
Your kind words and stars are a splendid gift to wake up to this morning. I appreciate your thoughts. Have a great day!
Comment from RodG
This tragic story of Nana and her grandson is beautifully told. You do wonderful job of characterizing DJ as hard-working, selfless, and loving. I like how we get to know him first at work and later at the fair. The suspense of finding his body is built gradually. You really evoke sympathy for all your characters. Rod
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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This tragic story of Nana and her grandson is beautifully told. You do wonderful job of characterizing DJ as hard-working, selfless, and loving. I like how we get to know him first at work and later at the fair. The suspense of finding his body is built gradually. You really evoke sympathy for all your characters. Rod
Comment Written 11-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you Rod
DJ was a very special boy. I don't say that just because he was my grandson (though I would scream it from the mountain tops). He had so many people at his funeral that we used two rooms and the procession line lasted for miles. The police brought in many cars even though we had not asked. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. Have a great day!