tanka prose (dawn)
tanka prose37 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this presentation. Your three parts read well. Your prose section is descriptive with great imagery. The title is a good choice. I like the tanka. Good job with its style.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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You did a great job with this presentation. Your three parts read well. Your prose section is descriptive with great imagery. The title is a good choice. I like the tanka. Good job with its style.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you Jan for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from mermaids
Your tanka prose takes the reader to another place. I like the mention of the loons, hawk and big mouth bass. It adds to the feel of nature. I also like the mention of the rainbow trout in your tanka poem. Your use of words creates a clear scene of nature that makes me want to go there. Excellent poetic form.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Your tanka prose takes the reader to another place. I like the mention of the loons, hawk and big mouth bass. It adds to the feel of nature. I also like the mention of the rainbow trout in your tanka poem. Your use of words creates a clear scene of nature that makes me want to go there. Excellent poetic form.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
tanka prose (dawn)
by Janet Foor
Hello, Janet,
I can't tell you how happy I am to have found your Tanka Prose. I was not aware there was such thing and I have been writing Japanese Poetry for the last eight years. I have two clubs, haiku club and Japanese Poetry Club. I will add tanka prose next week.
Your prose describes a moment in time beautifully with gorgeous imagery. The Tanka fits the prose perfectly without being a continuation of the prose portion. Well done!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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tanka prose (dawn)
by Janet Foor
Hello, Janet,
I can't tell you how happy I am to have found your Tanka Prose. I was not aware there was such thing and I have been writing Japanese Poetry for the last eight years. I have two clubs, haiku club and Japanese Poetry Club. I will add tanka prose next week.
Your prose describes a moment in time beautifully with gorgeous imagery. The Tanka fits the prose perfectly without being a continuation of the prose portion. Well done!
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
Tanka prose is one of my favorite of the JSF poetry. I am so pleased you liked it and look forward to reading one from you.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed your beautiful haibun. (I am guessing it's a haibun whether it ends with a haiku or a tanka). You brought the lake and the wildlife to us in your description and made us yearn for the simple ways of life. Your tanka is brilliant in showing that early morning fishing to get a meal. Loved 'wisps of fog pirouette off still water."
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Enjoyed your beautiful haibun. (I am guessing it's a haibun whether it ends with a haiku or a tanka). You brought the lake and the wildlife to us in your description and made us yearn for the simple ways of life. Your tanka is brilliant in showing that early morning fishing to get a meal. Loved 'wisps of fog pirouette off still water."
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
A haibun does end in an haiku where a tanka prose ends in a tanka. I prefer the tanka prose as it is more fluid where a haibun has crisp, terse lines.
I am so pleased that you enjoyed this one.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from LovnPeace
Wonderful, The visuals are grand and wording superb. A description of a perfect morning in my book. The picture very beautiful and fitting. I want to be there. Blessings, Barbara
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Wonderful, The visuals are grand and wording superb. A description of a perfect morning in my book. The picture very beautiful and fitting. I want to be there. Blessings, Barbara
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you Barbara for the wonderful review and the extra special six stars. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
I sooo live tha tanka part in this piece...
"wisps of fog" -stunning line!
"pirouette off still water" - even more stunning!
Your prose is lovely and very descriptive.
Excellent job and a very enjoyable read
Take care,
Katiemae
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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I sooo live tha tanka part in this piece...
"wisps of fog" -stunning line!
"pirouette off still water" - even more stunning!
Your prose is lovely and very descriptive.
Excellent job and a very enjoyable read
Take care,
Katiemae
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you Katie for the wonderful review. I am so pleased that you enjoyed it and I truly appreciate you kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Val Crisson
Lovely Janet. I love the combination of prose and tanka, and you did a beautiful job of it here. The tanka is perfect - with an excellent pivot line. I can almost smell the trout. On the prose, I have only one small suggestion
I would remove the line - ,"hawks circle overhead searching for breakfast" You have described a great deal of birds in the prose. I just don't think you need one more "bird image" Of course, this is just my opinion, and as always you are the writer. A joy to read.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Lovely Janet. I love the combination of prose and tanka, and you did a beautiful job of it here. The tanka is perfect - with an excellent pivot line. I can almost smell the trout. On the prose, I have only one small suggestion
I would remove the line - ,"hawks circle overhead searching for breakfast" You have described a great deal of birds in the prose. I just don't think you need one more "bird image" Of course, this is just my opinion, and as always you are the writer. A joy to read.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you Val for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
It was go good to see you name in the reviews. It has been a long time and I hope you are doing well.
Blessings
Janet
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Thank you, Janet. I am well. Covid took all motivation alway, but it is slowly returning. Hugs Val
Comment from royowen
I'm familiar with the haibun which has a terse and using sparse poetic imagery with a haiku, the tanka I'm familiar with has 31 syllables in 5/7/57/7, but it doesn't mean anything, they quite often break up the rules, so I'm not in a position to say anything constructive. My rules are different, I expect great language, and no particular form, having invented a few, the rules suit me and me alone, but I like this, but no criticism, just well done Janet, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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I'm familiar with the haibun which has a terse and using sparse poetic imagery with a haiku, the tanka I'm familiar with has 31 syllables in 5/7/57/7, but it doesn't mean anything, they quite often break up the rules, so I'm not in a position to say anything constructive. My rules are different, I expect great language, and no particular form, having invented a few, the rules suit me and me alone, but I like this, but no criticism, just well done Janet, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you Roy for the wonderful review. I appreciate you kind comments my friend.
Blessings
Janet
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Most welcome Janet
Comment from equestrik
beautiful writing that brings the reader to the place of loons and water and dragonflies. And also to fish frying in a pan on a fire. Nicely written and presented.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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beautiful writing that brings the reader to the place of loons and water and dragonflies. And also to fish frying in a pan on a fire. Nicely written and presented.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from dragonpoet
Both the prose and the tanka supply stong images of the area in which your cabin is located. I think one of those circling hawks probably dove as soon as he saw the fish jump for the dragonfly
Keep writing and stay healthy
dp
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Both the prose and the tanka supply stong images of the area in which your cabin is located. I think one of those circling hawks probably dove as soon as he saw the fish jump for the dragonfly
Keep writing and stay healthy
dp
Comment Written 26-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
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Thank you dp for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.
Blessings
Janet
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No problem, Janet.
Joan