Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Genius in Love, Scene 6"In Search of a Soul
35 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
"Genius in Love, Scene 6" comes in a very unusual classroom with an unusual teacher saying odd things. Responses by students also seems odd to me. The script format appears well done.
Not dark print so is this what Jenny is saying? "She should be holding him till it stops. Let the others talk. Let them all laugh. Mr. Hiney! Oh, God, I can't. Cornelius! Please, don't Cornelius!]"
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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"Genius in Love, Scene 6" comes in a very unusual classroom with an unusual teacher saying odd things. Responses by students also seems odd to me. The script format appears well done.
Not dark print so is this what Jenny is saying? "She should be holding him till it stops. Let the others talk. Let them all laugh. Mr. Hiney! Oh, God, I can't. Cornelius! Please, don't Cornelius!]"
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Thank you for reading this, Alaskastory. I've taken a whole lot of liberty with the stage directions, giving more credence to the thoughts of some of the characters. Which is why Jenny's "words" are not darkened. Again, thank you for your kind words and lovely stars!
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Ray, is this intense or is it intense? The whole class is like being on fire, and Cornelius being who he is can hardly cope with it all. What a fine new chapter. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Wow, Ray, is this intense or is it intense? The whole class is like being on fire, and Cornelius being who he is can hardly cope with it all. What a fine new chapter. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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OHhhh, I'm glad you enjoyed the intensity, Ulla. Yes the action went all over the place. I thought it was time to have Mr. Hiney show his stuff. Thank you for the sixer and for the kind words!
Comment from elchupakabra
You certainly have a wild imagination to come up with these character names, I especially like Celilla Queez ;) Great work on this script, thanks for sharing, later daze.
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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You certainly have a wild imagination to come up with these character names, I especially like Celilla Queez ;) Great work on this script, thanks for sharing, later daze.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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I'm pleased you enjoyed it. Yes, I try to put a lot of time on significant names. They have special meaning.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a very traumatic scene, Jay. The suspicious character painted of Mr. Hiney, the question about where James is, the screeches of Mr. Hiney and then Cornelius, have created a suspenseful atmosphere of chaos, which will certainly bring us back for the next scene. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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This is a very traumatic scene, Jay. The suspicious character painted of Mr. Hiney, the question about where James is, the screeches of Mr. Hiney and then Cornelius, have created a suspenseful atmosphere of chaos, which will certainly bring us back for the next scene. Well done.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Thank you, Judy. I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this. Now I need to figure out what's going to happen to Cornelius.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have actually witnessed teachers' actions and words make students melt down in class. I never understood why a teacher would allow that to happen. This is another good write.
I Just don't know about you people. (lower case 'j' needed on just)
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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I have actually witnessed teachers' actions and words make students melt down in class. I never understood why a teacher would allow that to happen. This is another good write.
I Just don't know about you people. (lower case 'j' needed on just)
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Oh, I'll take care of that vagrant capital letter. Thanks! And huge thanks for the sixer. I've had readers tell me they've had perverts like Mr. Hiney.
Comment from Leann DS
I'm not sure exactly what is going on with Cornelius, but I am very eager to find out! Hurry! Next scene, please.
With your author notes, you have given me a lesson in audience perspective when writing a script, so thank you very much for that. Well done. I hope you had a wonderful weekend.
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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I'm not sure exactly what is going on with Cornelius, but I am very eager to find out! Hurry! Next scene, please.
With your author notes, you have given me a lesson in audience perspective when writing a script, so thank you very much for that. Well done. I hope you had a wonderful weekend.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Do you mean the stage directions being from the Actor's perspective? Yeah, I don't know why that persists. I can't see any reason for it. Hey, Leann, thanks for reading this and, as always, your kind words.
Comment from Ric Myworld
The words "shut up, shut up you shithead," sound like they ought to be the lyrics of a hit song. I mean, nowadays, they write about everything. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine scene.
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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The words "shut up, shut up you shithead," sound like they ought to be the lyrics of a hit song. I mean, nowadays, they write about everything. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine scene.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Yeah, did you watch "Saturday Nite Live" last night? I mean the singers in their first number? If you did see it, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you didn't see it, let me tell you there was a lot more than groin grabbing. There was licking of faces as well. Literally, like the song says, "anything goes."
Comment from Bill Schott
I loved this scene, Jay. The build up with Hiney's rant, Cililla's delightful goofing before her stressful anticipation of Cornelius' eventual response, all bring us to this tense cliffhanger. Terrific to read and imagine.
Thanks for the plug. I am thrilled that I helped YOU as you continually bolster me with pats on the head and timely tightening.
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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I loved this scene, Jay. The build up with Hiney's rant, Cililla's delightful goofing before her stressful anticipation of Cornelius' eventual response, all bring us to this tense cliffhanger. Terrific to read and imagine.
Thanks for the plug. I am thrilled that I helped YOU as you continually bolster me with pats on the head and timely tightening.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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I'm glad you enjoyed the scene, Bill. I tried to have sustained tension throughout leading to the breakdown. I have no idea what I'm going to do next. Oh, I wish I learned to outline my plots. Thanks for the sixer!
Comment from amahra
Another well-written chapter, Jay. The dramatic way Cornelius freaks out at the end was flawless. I love your meticulous style of describing every movement of your characters. Example: "Eyes flitting from one girl to another, zigzagging now and again from face to face to below desktop than back again, Cornelius sitting stiff, blinking, one girl pulling on her mini-skirt; your attention to detail gives your character life and not just blank characters in a play.
Also, I like Cornelius's reaction to that lingering kiss he got earlier. Your description makes it sweet and puppy-love, instead of adult-like.
And the settled way you present Mr. Hiney as controlling and not at all inspiring is professional. You didn't go overboard. Instead of enlightening his kids, he seems delighted in frightening them. Many teachers of that era took to such liberties before the era of political correctness.
I do have one question. Is this setting in the USA? Because I noticed Hiney referring to his 8th graders as King of the hill and they'll be peasants once they arrive at high school. Only in Middle Schools are 8th graders at their highest level. But there were no Middle Schools in the US until 1963 and your setting is in 1950.
In 1950 America, elementary schools stopped at 6th grade, junior high was 7th - 9th and high school was 9th - 12th. Still a fine chapter, Jay.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Another well-written chapter, Jay. The dramatic way Cornelius freaks out at the end was flawless. I love your meticulous style of describing every movement of your characters. Example: "Eyes flitting from one girl to another, zigzagging now and again from face to face to below desktop than back again, Cornelius sitting stiff, blinking, one girl pulling on her mini-skirt; your attention to detail gives your character life and not just blank characters in a play.
Also, I like Cornelius's reaction to that lingering kiss he got earlier. Your description makes it sweet and puppy-love, instead of adult-like.
And the settled way you present Mr. Hiney as controlling and not at all inspiring is professional. You didn't go overboard. Instead of enlightening his kids, he seems delighted in frightening them. Many teachers of that era took to such liberties before the era of political correctness.
I do have one question. Is this setting in the USA? Because I noticed Hiney referring to his 8th graders as King of the hill and they'll be peasants once they arrive at high school. Only in Middle Schools are 8th graders at their highest level. But there were no Middle Schools in the US until 1963 and your setting is in 1950.
In 1950 America, elementary schools stopped at 6th grade, junior high was 7th - 9th and high school was 9th - 12th. Still a fine chapter, Jay.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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You may have discovered a flaw in my use of middle school. Yes it takes place in California in the early fifties. We called it junior high school back then, and included 7th and 8th grade (and some included 9th grade in junior high, with high school covering 10th through 12th. I will change it to junior high. Thanks for your help with that. I'd give you a reviewer vote, but the bottle's empty. You are on my list for June. You are da bomb!
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Thank you, Jay. I'm flattered.
Comment from BethShelby
This scene is intense. Cililla is really concerned about Cornelius and she is frantically wanting to stop Mr. Hiney for saying things that knows will upset Cornelius. I love her comparing him to a prophet emerging from his cave. I wonder if you're drawing back on what your own eighth grade class was like in the fifties. The teacher I had in that grade is very close to the your description of Mr. Hiney. He was the first male teacher we'd had.
That was the year we all were introduces to sexual jokes and stories that shocked our innocent ears.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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This scene is intense. Cililla is really concerned about Cornelius and she is frantically wanting to stop Mr. Hiney for saying things that knows will upset Cornelius. I love her comparing him to a prophet emerging from his cave. I wonder if you're drawing back on what your own eighth grade class was like in the fifties. The teacher I had in that grade is very close to the your description of Mr. Hiney. He was the first male teacher we'd had.
That was the year we all were introduces to sexual jokes and stories that shocked our innocent ears.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Mr. Hiney is purely a product of my imagination, but nothing would surprise me about disturbed people who find their way into teaching. It sounds like your 8th grade teacher had a bit of Hiney in him. Thanks, Beth for your words and the stars!